


Lost

by pcworth



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:18:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 91,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6878938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcworth/pseuds/pcworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Regina stops Pan's curse but there are consequences for her. It diverts from canon at Pan's curse. Mr. Gold doesn't die. Regina stops the curse but the repercussions of her actions draw her into a fight in another world</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s coming, the curse is coming!” Leroy yelled, running toward them. They turned to see the billowing cloud of Pan’s curse coming.

“Can it be stopped?” Neal asked his father.

“I don’t know how to stop it, and after what I just did, I don’t know that I would have the strength to,” Gold answered and then looked at Regina who had been standing there as if in her own little world since they had helped her up. “Regina, do you have any ideas?”

She continued to stand there, her eyes not seeming to focus on anything at first and then she turned away from them all and took a couple of steps to put some distance between them.

“Regina!” Emma said more urgently. “Is there a way to stop it?”

“Yes,” she said barely above a whisper.

“What do we do?”

Regina turned again to look at them, her eyes coming to rest on Henry. “There isn’t anything you can do. I am the only one who can stop it.”

“At what price?” Emma said immediately. Regina said nothing but turned away once more. Emma came up and grabbed her arm forcing her around. “If there is one thing I have learned about magic, it’s that it comes with a price. What is it this time?”

“It’s … It’s my price to pay,” she said. “You will all be safe.”

“What about you?” Henry asked.

She smiled at him as he came nearer. “You are going to grow up to be a good man,” she said putting her hand on his shoulder. “And you will have your family behind you every step of the way.” Her eyes took in those around them – Emma, Snow, Charming, Neal, even Gold.

“You’re my family too.”

“I couldn’t love you more,” she said bending down and hugging him. “You remember that Henry. It doesn’t matter what people say or think about me, the one thing I did right in my lifetime was you.”

She let go of him and backed up.

“Mom,” he said.

“Regina,” Emma said. “What’s going on?”

“I can stop it. That’s all the matters. I can do this. The price is my sacrifice. Nobody else will be harmed.”

“No!” Henry said coming toward her but she backed away again. “Can’t you do something?”

He directed it to her Emma who was so stunned she didn’t respond at first just looked at Regina.

“There isn’t anything she can do,” Regina said, answering for Emma. “I am the only one who has the power to stop it.”

“Can’t I help?” Emma said. “Like with the failsafe device. Our magic together.”

Regina gave her a sad smile. “No, but thanks for being willing. I guess I should expect nothing less from the savior.”

“There has to be a way,” Henry said. “You can’t leave me.”

“I don’t want to, but I have to. It’s way past time I pay for the things I have done. Take care of him.” She directed the last part to Emma.

“Wait,” Emma said sensing that Regina was about to do something, but before the word was out of her mouth Regina was waving her hands and a moment later her own magic enveloped her and she disappeared.

 

Regina appeared near the well where Pan’s curse was flowing from. She stood there feeling the immense power of it and wondering if she really did have the strength to do this. She knew she had to – she had to do it in order for Henry to be safe.

Her plan was simple. She was going to absorb this curse much like she had the death one that was once placed on this very well. But she knew that this curse was a dozen times more powerful and she couldn’t contain that kind of magic. It would rip her apart.

She thought again of Henry. She thought about the first time she held him, the first time he called her mommy, his first day of school and the way he used to look at her – like she was the most amazing thing in the world.

Calling up her magic for the last time she began the process of absorbing it. Almost immediately she felt its raw power enter her body. It was even more powerful than she had been expecting and it drove her to her knees but she kept at it, drawing more and more of it into her. Her insides felt like they were on fire, but she kept going until it was all gone.

She exhaled as her body shook uncontrollably. Every cell in her body was tingling with magic and she knew that she couldn’t allow that magic to be released here in Storybrooke. She couldn’t risk any consequences of that happening so she scrambled to her feet. She fell more than walked toward the well.

She only had a few moments at the most she guessed. It took all her remaining strength to lift herself up over the edge.

Henry’s smiling face entered her mind once more as she let herself fall.

An explosion of magic blew the well apart and a purple beam of light pierced up from the hole that was left – and then it too was gone.

 

Emma held on to Henry tight as he had tried to run toward where the curse had been. They had all stood there and seen it as it stopped rolling toward them and went back in the direction it came in.

It was when they saw the purple beam of light that Emma’s hold on Henry loosened enough for him to take off running. She was right behind him.

They made it to where the well was – where it would be if it was still intact.

“Mom!” Henry yelled looking around. “Mom.”

Emma too looked around as did the others she hadn’t even noticed had followed them. They spread out, all calling for Regina. Emma moved closer to the well which was nothing more than a deep hole in the ground at this point. She peered in carefully but didn’t see anything. Gold appeared beside her.

“She did it,” he said. “She stopped it.”

“Yes, but where is she?”

“I think we both know the answer to that. She knew what she was doing. It was her choice.”

She’s gone, Emma thought. How is it possible that she’s gone? Regina seemed too formidable to be done in, even by a powerful curse. Emma looked around and saw Henry. He was no longer looking around for his mother or calling out for his mom. He stood off by the trees looking at the destroyed well.

**14 months later**

Emma was woken up by her phone and she sleepily answered it, “Sheriff Swan.”

“Hi sheriff, sorry for waking you,” Debbie, the night dispatcher said. “We just got a call from Mrs. Cooperrider. She thinks someone broke into the Mills mansion on Mifflin.”

“Regina’s place?”

“Yes, her old house, which is why I was calling you.”

“Ok, I will check it out. Thanks.”

She hung up the phone and started the process of getting dressed. The mansion had sat vacant since Regina’s disappearance. She never referred to it as her death, even after Henry had given up on the idea that she was still alive somewhere.

The dispatch knew that if anything happened at the mansion she was to be called. Occasionally kids would dare each other to try and enter the lair of the Evil Queen. It was some sort of macho ritual that someone started. The last group of kids she had caught there, she made sure they would never do it again by threatening them with real jail time since they were 17.

Technically, she supposed, the house belonged to Henry. Or at least it would when he turned 18. When Regina had first destroyed Pan’s curse, she had trouble getting him to leave the house. She had spent the night in the guest room there for two months because Henry was sure Regina would reappear at any moment. She felt odd about staying in the house knowing that was Regina’s home, but she felt bad about the situation so she allowed it to happen. Then she had to put her foot down with Henry, telling him that they couldn’t stay there – she couldn’t stay there.

It wasn’t her home she told him and she wasn’t a replacement for Regina.

In his hurt, he had replied. “You couldn’t replace her. She’s my mom.”

The comment had stung deeply and she had to remind herself that he had said it because he was upset that Regina was gone.

Now her name never came up in conversation.

Emma didn’t believe Henry had actually gotten any closure but he pretended like he had. He pretended that it didn’t matter that she was gone, but she knew better. It was only three months ago that she had gotten called to the school because Henry had gotten into a fight. When she had been driving there she was sure Henry had not been the aggressor, but she was wrong. He had punched another kid. Neither Henry nor the other kid would say why.

Later she got the story from Snow – the other kid had made a reference to the Evil Queen and Henry had assaulted him for it.

She had tried to talk to him about it, but he said it didn’t matter. He said his mom was dead and that was it.

After that incident things had returned to “normal” but Emma knew that Henry hadn’t really dealt with Regina being gone.

Nor had she.

Living in Regina’s house was one thing, but even afterward Emma couldn’t help but feel like she had lost out when it came to Regina. They could have been friends. They were starting to become friends she thought. They could have worked things out and both been mothers to Henry. They never got the chance though.

Last week she was out on patrol and wasn’t far from the well so she drove out that way. They had built a fence around the remains of the well as a safety precaution. She had no real reason for being there but she had walked up to the fence and looked over into the gaping hole. She didn’t know what Regina’s last moments were like, but Gold had conjectured that Regina had stopped the curse by absorbing it. He said it would have been too much for her to handle and that the purple beam they had seen was probably the result of the magic destroying her.

Emma didn’t want to think about it. She had seen that Regina was determined to save them but she was also scared. The fact there was nothing she could do to help Regina hurt the most. She was Savior after all, shouldn’t there have been something she could do.

She had to leave a note on the fridge for Henry in case he woke up and found she was gone. It was the system they had developed for when she got called out to things. She didn’t tell him the call was to Regina’s house.

Arriving at the mansion, she didn’t see anything in the front to give her pause so she walked around to the back. She immediately saw the broken glass in the door and she cautiously approached. She already had her flashlight out and she used it to help open the door wider. It was dark inside as expected and she stepped in. She shone her light around the kitchen where she entered and saw only dirt on the floor as if someone had tracked it in. It led out of the kitchen so she followed it.

There seemed to be only one set of dirt tracks. When she got to the stairs she saw the dirt was going up. She pulled out her gun just to be careful. She didn’t hear anything that gave her any indication that anyone was up there.

Once on the top floor she saw the door to Regina’s room was open. They always kept that door closed when she was staying there and when she stopped in every couple of weeks to check on the place she knew it was always closed. Whoever was in there was not going to be on her good side.

She didn’t see anything from the open doorway so she slipped in, checking her blind spots to make sure she wasn’t caught off guard. She noticed the door to the bathroom was also open and she couldn’t remember if that was normal or not but she didn’t need to as she saw more dirt leading that way.

Approaching slowly with her flashlight guiding her and her gun drawn she made to where she could see inside and saw a figure on the floor back against the tub.

“Whoever you are, come out,” she ordered.

The person didn’t and from what Emma could see it looked like they were trying to shrink even further back against the tub. Emma brought her light up more to see and made out a small figure wearing rags for clothes, their head which had peach fuzz more than hair, was down. But what Emma noticed the most was the blood on its hands.

“Whoever you are, stand up.”

Nothing but a slight whimpering sound.

“I am Emma Swan, the sheriff here; I need you to stand up.”

Nothing.

“Are you hurt?”

Whoever they were, Emma had now stepped close enough to see they were shaking. She wasn’t sure if it was from fear or because they were cold. They had pants on that were torn just below the knees and Emma could see the dirty feet and legs. The shirt they were wearing looked to be about two sizes too big for their small frame.

“I am going to turn on the light,” Emma said. She put down her flashlight on the sink but kept her gun pointed at the individual as she flicked on the light.

Again she heard a whimpering noise the person tried to push themselves back more as if there was room for them to escape. Their knees were up with their head buried and their arms resting on those knees with their hands out. The blood looked to be partially dry but some of it was still glistening and fresh.

“Are you hurt?” Emma again asked.

She got no answer. She considered her options. “I am going to put away my gun,” she said as she holstered it slowly. She put her hands up. “I am not here to hurt you. I just want to make sure you are alright.”

As she got closer she could tell more that this was a woman – she had feminine hands and features as far as she could tell. There was bruising on her arms and legs.

Emma got within a step of her. “Are you ok? Are you hurt? Is that blood yours?”

Nothing. She stepped closer and then knelt in front of the obviously scared woman.

“I am not going to hurt you,” she said reaching out and touching one of the arms. The woman looked up suddenly and Emma backed up and scrambled to her feet.

“Regina?” she said.


	2. Chapter 2

“What do you think happened to her?” Snow asked.

Emma had called her parents over to Regina’s house rather than calling anyone else in. She was hoping to figure out what happened, but Regina hadn’t said a word and seemed to be scared if Emma came anywhere near her.

They were standing outside of the bedroom speaking. Her father was looking outside of the house to see if he could determine where she had come from prior to entering the home.

“I have no idea,” Emma answered. “I can’t get her to come out of the bathroom much less speak to me. Not to mention her hands are bloody and I don’t know if she has a wound or if that is someone else’s blood.”

“Let me try.”

“Be my guest.”

Snow approached the doorway to the bathroom.

“Regina,” she said softly.

Regina looked up at this new voice and Snow studied her for about half a minute before turning back to Emma.

“When she looked up at you before was it with any sort of recognition?” Snow asked.

“I don’t know. I was so shocked it was her that I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I don’t think she has any idea who I am.”

“What?” Emma said coming in to the doorway. She looked at Regina who was looking at both her and Snow – and her mother was right, Regina wasn’t registering any recognition of who she was. She could also see that Regina was fighting to keep her eyes open and it was a battle she was quickly losing.

Her and Snow rushed forward the moment they saw Regina’s eyes roll back and she slumped against the bathtub unconscious. Snow reached her first, “Regina?” she said shaking her. Regina didn’t respond but as she shook her, her body went limp and they both saw the bloody wound on her side.

“Get an ambulance,” Snow said.

Emma dialed the dispatch number and asked them to send an ambulance.

Snow lowered Regina to the floor so she could check her for additional injuries. She was struck by how the other woman looked – the shorn hair, the obvious malnutrition, the pale, cracked lips and the bruises she could now see on various parts of her body.

The clothes Regina had on had an odor as if they had been weeks without being cleaned, and Snow suspected the same was true of Regina herself. She lifted the shirt to get a better look at the wound and gasped. Regina’s entire midsection was nothing but dark purple and black splotches of bruising. The wound was on her left side and it had mostly stopped bleeding, but there was some fresh blood trickling out.

Snow touched it – she recognized the type of wound. She should, after all she was an expert archer.

She pulled Regina over.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for an exit wound.”

She didn’t see one which means it didn’t go all the way through. She turned Regina back on her back and again felt the wound, placing her finger into it.

“Now what are you doing ?”

“She was shot with an arrow. It’s been broken off. I can feel the shaft. It’s still in there, which means the arrow tip is also in her.”

“Ok, we will let the EMTs know when they get here.”

“She had to be facing the person when it happened, but from a far distance. Arrows travel at a high velocity, which means she had to be far enough away that the velocity was enough to enter her, but not exit. Then she or someone else broke off the part that was protruding from her. It would cause a lot of pain.”

Emma heard the sirens approaching and looked down at Regina one more time before leading the EMTs up to the room.

 

Emma waited with her parents to hear from Dr. Whale about Regina’s condition. Emma had considered going to pick up Henry before heading to the hospital, but dismissed the idea until she knew what kind of shape she was in.

She didn’t even know what to tell Henry. Hey, kid your mom is back but she’s been roughed up pretty bad. Then there was the way Regina had looked at her – like she was a stranger that bothered her.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized Regina hadn’t even been studying her like she was trying to remember or figure out who Emma was. She hoped that was just because of the obvious trauma the other woman had been through.

They had to wait for what seemed like an extraordinary long time – at least to Emma. How long did it take to remove an arrow tip and sew a person back up?

She had stopped pacing more than an hour ago when there was no quick update. Now she got up merely to stretch her legs.

She had told her parents they could go home and she would wait, but Snow didn’t want to leave which meant her father had no intention of leaving. He had found Regina’s tracks leading to the house, but since it was dark outside he couldn’t find much more. He said he would return as the sun came up, which would actually be soon.

They had been here forever and she couldn’t imagine that boded well for Regina’s condition.

Maybe she should have gotten Henry.

Charming had offered to go pick him up when he left to go look for Regina’s tracks again. If they didn’t know anything by then Emma told him yes to bring Henry there.

They hadn’t talked much about what they thought might have happened to Regina, mostly because none of them knew. There had been plenty of conjecture on that subject when she had first disappeared and even then there was no way to answer that question.

It was another hour before Whale came out and Charming had just left 15 minutes before that to get Henry so it was just her and Snow. He took them back to his office to speak.

“It would appear whatever sins the Evil Queen has committed in her substantial life time, someone wanted to make her pay for them,” he said taking a seat. Snow put a restraining hand on Emma’s arm as she saw her daughter take a threatening step toward him, of which he was oblivious.

“How is she?” Snow asked.

“Stable,” he said. “Despite the sedative she was administered, she woke mid surgery and tried to fight off the surgical team. Luckily she was too weak to do any damage to herself or others. Still it was quite remarkable for her to have even woken up. We were able to remove the arrow head. It actually did more good than harm. The way it and the shaft were situated within her kept her from bleeding out. She did lose a lot of blood.”

“Will she recover?”

“From the arrow wound, yes, from the rest of what was done to her, that is not really my realm of skill. More that cricket’s line of work I would expect.”

“What do you mean?” Emma asked.

“She was tortured,” Whale said matter-of-factly. “She had multiple wounds – bruises, deep ones, which merely covered up bruises that were already there. There were burn marks and her wrist was broken. X-rays showed some previous breaks that had healed. I will make you a copy of my report. Like I said someone wanted to make sure she got hers.”

Snow again put a hand on Emma’s arm.

“Can we see her?” Snow said.

“I will have the nurse let you know when she’s settled in a room.”

Emma and Snow stood up to leave but Emma stopped.

“Henry will be here soon,” she said to him. “I would appreciate it if you left your opinions of Regina out of his earshot. You are a doctor. She made you a doctor, instead of just some guy from a horror story that reanimates corpses. So just be a doctor and take care of her. If I find you aren’t or if you say anything about her being the Evil Queen in front of Henry, you and I are going to have issues.”

She didn’t wait for a reaction and walked out.

 

She opened her eyes slowly, the bright light creeping into them. She blinked several times before they opened fully.

“Mom.”

She turned and saw a kid sitting there. Her surroundings started to come more into focus and she began to panic. She heard a beeping noise that seemed to get faster.

“Mom?” the kid said again and he touched her arm. She suddenly noticed there was something protruding from her arm. She reached for it – touching it. A woman came rushing into the room.

“Miss Mills you need to calm down,” the woman said.

She didn’t know where she was at and when the woman touched her, she panicked. She tried moving.

“Miss Mills you need to stay calm.”

“Mom!” the kid said again.

Another woman entered – she had short hair. “Regina!”

There were too many people, too many noises. She forced herself up despite the woman trying to hold onto her. She rolled over the bar on the strange bed and landed on the ground in pain. Something landed next to her.

The other woman came near her and she tried backing up but by this time her head was spinning. Her eyes started to close.

Snow moved out of the way so the nurse could attend to Regina who had passed out. She put her arms around Henry.

“What’s wrong with her?” he asked.

“I don’t know but I am sure Dr. Whale will figure it out.”

 

Emma sat watching Regina sleep. She had been at work when she had woken before. Snow had taken Henry home with her to get something to eat. Emma didn’t want him sitting there like she was for hours on end just watching Regina sleep.

She still couldn’t get over the change in the way she looked. The hair was a big part of it, but it was also her overall appearance. She looked small. She looked like a victim and that wasn’t something Emma ever thought she would think about Regina.

The evidence was clear that someone had done this to her.

Her father had found evidence that Regina had made it from the woods at the edge of town all the way to her place. Her trail went cold her father said almost like she had simply appeared where the tracks began.

“What happened to you?” Emma said out loud. “Where have you been?”


	3. Chapter 3

When Regina woke next it was from a nightmare. Her eyes flashed open as she scrambled into a seated position. Again unfamiliar sights and sounds flooded her brain.

“Regina,” a woman’s voice said and she looked to see a blonde woman coming to her bedside. She vaguely remembered seeing this woman before in the strange house she had been in. “Regina, are you ok?”

She realized her breaths were coming in short bursts but she couldn’t seem to stop it from happening as she looked around this room she was in. Nothing looked familiar to her. Regina. Is that my name, she wondered.

Someone had said that name before when she had woken in this room. She saw something protruding from her arm and she touched it. If felt weird to her and she didn’t like it. She made to pull it out, but the blonde woman put a hand over hers to stop her.

“Don’t,” she said firmly. “You have to keep that IV in. Regina, look at me. Do you know who I am?”

She studied the woman but nothing was coming to mind as to who she was. She looked away, not liking how this woman appeared to be studying her. She raised up her hand – the one opposite of the IV – and examined the wrapping around her wrist. It made her whole hand feel heavy.

She was in a bed or at least it was some sort of bed, but that was practically the only thing that she could put a name to in this room. Whatever this place was, she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to be here. She started to move, to get off the bed, but again the blonde woman stopped her.

“You have to stay. Stay. I am going to get the doctor.”

 

Emma left the room going directly to the nurses’ station where she told them they needed to get Dr. Whale down there now. She was sure that Regina had no idea who she was. There was absolutely no sense of recognition in Regina’s eyes when she looked at Emma and the silence was unnerving Emma. Maybe, she is just in shock.

Emma had been dozing in the chair next to the bed when she heard Regina whimper in her sleep. She could tell the woman was having a nightmare and she had stood to wake her from it when Regina’s eyes had flown open.

She returned to the room not wanting to leave Regina alone and found the brunette had done the opposite of what she had told her to do. Regina was standing – barely standing – next to the bed which she had a hold of presumably to keep herself upright.

“Whoa there,” Emma said as she saw Regina falter. She rushed over to steady her. “Let’s get you back into bed.”

Regina didn’t put up much of a fight against going back onto the bed and Emma got her settled back in with covers over her as Dr. Whale entered.

“I see you have finally woken. I hope we aren’t going to have a repeat performance from the last time you regained consciousness.”

Emma saw no reason to point out that they very nearly did. Whale checked the monitors first, taking some notes for the chart but when he approached Regina to check her IV, she cringed back toward the other end of the bed.

Whale seemed to study her as she did this and Emma could see the lack of recognition once again on Regina’s face.

“I don’t think she knows who any of us are,” Emma said to him.

“Yes, you and your mother mentioned that,” Whale said as he continued to look at Regina. He pulled out a pen light and shone it into her eyes and she immediately shielded her eyes with her forearm.

Whale gave a perturbed sigh. “I can sedate you or strap you to the bed, but one way or another I am going to examine you.”

“Doctor,” Emma said in a warning tone.

“What sheriff? You are the one who expressed that I need to give her the best care. I can’t do that if she isn’t going to cooperate with a simple examination. If she truly can’t remember who we are then it could be a sign of a deeper head trauma – scans may be required. These are things I can’t do if the patient isn’t going to cooperate.”

“Can’t you see she’s scared?”

“Then what do you suggest I do?”

Emma was standing on the opposite side of the bed from Whale as she thought about what to do. She didn’t need the heart monitor that had been steadily ticking higher since Whale arrived to know that Regina was in fact scared. But she needed to be examined.

“Regina,” Emma said softly. “Look at me.”

Regina made eye contact with her and Emma gave her a little smile. “This man here, he is a doctor. His name is Victor. He isn’t going to hurt you but he needs to check your wounds. You were hurt. Do you remember being hurt?”

She felt like she was talking to a little child and from the expression on Whale’s face she could tell he thought this was pointless. Regina gave her no reaction though. Emma reached out and gently took Regina’s hand in hers – or at least the part that wasn’t covered by the cast from her broken wrist. “I am going to be right here the entire time. If you feel uncomfortable or anything, just say something to me ok?”

Again no reaction.

Emma looked at Whale and nodded. He refrained from rolling his eyes, although barely, and he reached over to examine the IV in her arm first. Regina didn’t move but Emma could feel her body was shaking in fear and she gripped harder on Emma’s hand. Next Emma had to let Whale use the pen light on her first to show Regina that there was no harm in it before Whale used it on her. Emma could tell that Regina’s eyes didn’t seem to be following the light very well and Whale made more notations on her chart.

The hard part came next as Whale wanted to check out the wound from where she had been shot. It took a while for Emma to first explain to Regina what Whale was going to do and even then when Whale tried to move the hospital gown over to look at it Regina panicked.

“Regina!” Emma said as the other woman began to fight her. She knew Regina was frightened and she wasn’t doing it on purpose but Emma also knew she had to take control of the situation. She took Regina’s chin in her hand and forced her to look at her and not at Whale. “Look at me. Concentrate on me.”

Regina tried to look away, but Emma held onto her. “He isn’t going to hurt you. He is here to help. Look at me, don’t look at him. She used her other hand to keep Regina’s arm down so she didn’t lash out at Whale or her. There was nothing else she could do but hope Regina didn’t try bolting from the bed once more. Now that she had her eyes fixed on Emma’s though she seemed to calm down a bit. Emma maintained that eye contact with her – peering into those tiny pools of color that looked at her without knowing who she was. She didn’t dare even glance at Whale, knowing it would make Regina more aware of him and probably set her off again. She found Regina’s breaths began to match her own as the stared at each other.

“I am done sheriff,” Whale said. Emma held the look a moment more before releasing Regina.

“How is she?”

“As I said before, her wounds will heal. As for the apparent memory loss or why she hasn’t said a word, that is going to require some scans – scans which I think we can both agree may be better served being done under sedation.”

Emma couldn’t argue with that. She had no idea how she would be able to keep Regina calm during a CT scan or MRI.

“I don’t want any tests done on her if I am not here,” Emma said.

“Fine. I will make the arrangements,” he said, walking toward the door. “I will have someone from food services bring her some food. She’s malnourished. See if you can’t get her to eat and also drink something. The IVs will only give her so much nourishment. Her body needs more.”

Emma nodded, surprised that Whale had said it with what was borderline concern for Regina’s wellbeing.

“So that wasn’t so bad,” Emma said turning back to Regina who had in those short moments managed to lie down on the bed and curl up in a fetal position. Her eyes were closed and Emma took a seat back in her chair to watch her sleep.

She wondered what she was going to do. Henry was going to be here later and unless something miraculous happened, Regina wasn’t going to know who he was. The kid had been through enough in losing his mom, he didn’t need to have her back but yet be a stranger to her.

When Henry finally arrived he was disappointed to see that Regina was still asleep. Emma got up so he could take the chair and she went out to the hall with her mom. She had already texted Snow with an update on Regina’s condition.

“You should have seen her,” Emma said. “She was frightened of Whale. I don’t know if it was because he was a guy or because he was trying to touch her to examine her, but she was scared. Someone did this to her.”

“We know this,” Snow said in a calming voice. “But right now we don’t know who that person is.”

“What if she has been here, been here in town this entire time and someone here did this to her? There are plenty of suspects who would want to get their revenge on her. Whale being right up there on the list.”

“We can’t jump to conclusions. Aren’t you always saying you have to follow the evidence?”

“Yeah, but we don’t have any. I mean you said you didn’t recognize that arrow tip.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Lots of people have personal preferences on their arrows, all I can say for sure is I have never encountered that one in particular. Regina could have just as easily been outside of Storybrooke and stumbled back into its borders or she could have been elsewhere all together. Your father said her tracks looked like they just began in that one spot. Perhaps she was transported here from another land. The point is we don’t have enough to say either way and suspecting your neighbors of doing this to her isn’t going to help either. We need to make Regina see that she is in no danger here; get her to tell us where she had been.”

“She hasn’t spoken a word. It’s creeping me out.”

“Give it time. She’s been through a trauma. First she needs to heal and be around the familiar. Whale said the memory loss could have a physical cause. Let’s wait to see what the tests tell us about it.”

She knew her mother was right but it didn’t make her feel any better. Watching Henry watching his mother sleep Emma couldn’t help but think back to the day when Regina had disappeared. Henry had asked her if there was anything she could to do help his other mother and she didn’t have an answer. She didn’t have an answer now either and that bothered her more than anything.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma watched from the tiny room with Whale as Regina was put into the MRI machine. She had woken several times the night before from nightmares. She had screamed so loudly at times that it freaked out the nurses on duty. She also seemed determined to leave again and they ended up holding her down to sedate her and strap her down to the bed.

That is how Henry had to see his mother that morning when they arrived. Emma had immediately gone in search of Whale to demand an explanation. The problem was Whale wasn’t exactly wrong in ordering her to be restrained. If they hadn’t Regina would have tried to leave and right now the hospital was where she needed to be.

While she was still sleeping (thanks to another dose of sedative) they decided to do the tests. Emma had dropped Henry off at school and came back to observe.

The screen came alive with colors as the machine began to send information to the computer of Regina’s brain.

“Is that normal or not normal?” Emma asked after Whale had been studying it for a while.

“Normal. There is no sign of bleeding, clots or other damage showing up here.”

“Then what is wrong with her?”

Whale chose to ignore her.

There were more tests done after the MRI and Whale took advantage of Regina’s unconsciousness to check her wound again and make sure it was healing ok.

“I will review all the tests, but I feel fairly confident in saying that her issues are more mental in nature than physical,” Whale said.

“So what, we get Archie in here to talk to her?”

“If you think the cricket can help, that is your choice. I will limit my suggestions to more scientifically based answers. The sedation will probably wear off sometime in the next hour or so. Do you plan on sticking around?”

“I need to get to work,” she said feeling a little guilty about leaving her. “Do you think you can keep the straps off of her?”

They were currently off since they had just returned her to the room.

“That will be entirely up to Regina. My first concern as I said last night is getting some nutrients into her.”

“Yeah, she could use a few cheeseburgers in her,” Emma commented.

“Let’s try something a little more healthy to begin with.”

 

Emma was at her desk at the office reviewing some files when her phone rang a few hours later.

“Sheriff Swan,” she said.

“Hello sheriff this is Judy over at the hospital. Dr. Whale asked me to call you.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Dr. Whale wondered if you might come back go the hospital to assist us.”

“Assist with what?”

“Getting mayor Mills to eat something.”

“She’s not eating?”

“No. Dr. Whale said you were helpful yesterday with handling her and he wondered if you might help once more.”

“Yeah, I will be there in a little bit.”

She hung up the phone wondering how in the hell she was going to assist in getting Regina to eat something. She left the paperwork on her desk and told her father where she was headed.

Instead of heading straight there she made a stop at Granny’s. If she was going to have to convince Regina to eat something, it wasn’t going to be hospital food.

She walked in carrying a to go bag. She hadn’t really eaten anything but a bagel so far so she got food for herself. Maybe if Regina saw her eating, it would be enough to entice her to eat. She met with Dr. Whale first, who gave her a disapproving eye about the food, but told her he would allow only because Regina was malnourished.

Regina had apparently woken quietly this last time and the nurse who had found her awake had immediately had food brought up. They had placed it on the moveable tray and placed it in front of her, but she only stared at it a moment before ignoring it. They tried to tell her she needed to eat to get well but she looked at them like she did everyone else – blankly.

She still was shying away from anyone who got near her although she had not tried to leave the bed again. Perhaps the memory of being held down while they sedated her was enough for her to not try it.

Emma knocked on the door frame before entering.

“Hey,” she said. “So they tell me you haven’t eaten anything and while I can’t say I blame you for turning your nose up at hospital food, you still need to eat.”

Regina looked at her, but gave no sign that she understood or cared what Emma was saying. Emma sighed and began to take containers out of the bag and place them on the tray.

“I got you the turkey sandwich because I figured that was at least better than a cheeseburger,” Emma said. “And there is a side of cole slaw because Granny thought you might like that better than fries.”

She had pulled Granny aside when she had gotten there. Word had already spread around town about Regina’s condition, and once Emma had told her what the problem was Granny didn’t hesitate to make up the food for her to bring.

Emma also got a sandwich but she got fries. She thought if Regina saw her eating the same kind of sandwich that it might prompt her to eat as well. She took her own carton and placed it on the chair and then she moved the tray over the bed so it was in front of Regina, who looked at the food with a clear expression of confusion.

“It’s yours. To eat.”

Regina glanced up at her, but Emma again found it unnerving that she wasn’t even sure any of this was registering with Regina.

Emma backed up to the chair and picked up her carton. She sat down and opened it, picking up the sandwich, keeping her eyes on Regina as she did so. She took a bite of it, chewed and swallowed. Regina watched her the whole time. Emma took two more bites before Regina looked back down at her own sandwich.

Pick it up, Emma thought to herself.

But Regina didn’t pick it up.

“Regina, damn it, eat the food,” Emma said a little more sternly than she meant to. The tone seemed to get Regina’s attention and Emma saw her heart rate increase a little. She hadn’t meant to scare or startle her; she just wanted Regina to eat the food. To her surprise Regina tentatively picked up the sandwich and took a quick bite before putting it back down.

“Um, that’s good,” Emma said although a quick glance at the monitor showed Regina’s heart rate wasn’t going down. “Look I am sorry for snapping at you.”

Regina didn’t react but her heart rate began to go down. Emma took another bite of her sandwich and had a couple of fries but Regina wasn’t eating again. She was trying to figure out what she could do. She put her own food aside and approached the bed, noticing Regina’s wariness as she got closer.

“Come on Regina, you have to be hungry. Please, pick up the sandwich and eat or if you don’t want the sandwich, have some cole slaw.”

“Mom.”

Emma turned and saw Henry and Snow in the doorway. She must have lost all track of time if they were here already.

Henry came closer to the bed and Emma stepped out the way. She kept her eyes on Regina wanting to see how she would react to Henry.

“Mom, are you ok?” Henry asked as Regina remained silent.

“Did the tests find anything?” Snow asked.

“No,” Emma said. “Whale thinks this is mental.”

“Mom, it’s me Henry, your son.”

It pained Emma to hear that phrase accompanied by nothing but silence on Regina’s part. Henry’s shoulders slumped. “Mom, where have you been?”

Emma didn’t know if Henry kept saying mom because he was hoping Regina would remember or if he was even aware he was doing it. Even so, the lack of recognition and confusion were clear on Regina’s face.

“Hey Regina,” Emma said bringing Regina’s eyes back go her. Emma walked up to Henry and put a hand on his shoulder. “This is Henry. He’s your son.” She almost added our son, but she didn’t want to confuse her any more than she already was.

Regina looked at Henry and Emma could tell the other woman was almost willing herself to remember, or at the very least understand what was being said.

Then she averted her eyes. She began feeling around the edges of the cast on her wrist, something Emma had observed earlier but hadn’t thought much about it. Regina then looked up once more.

“Where?”

The word came out so raspy and low that if there had been any noise in that room Emma was sure she wouldn’t have heard it.

“You’re home, you’re in Storybrooke.”

Regina fell silent once more.

At least they now knew she was capable of speaking. Emma was beginning to think that Whale was right and this was mental. She would need to get Archie to come over to see Regina because Emma was at a loss as to what to do.

“You should probably eat some more,” Emma said to her. She felt a headache coming on that she was sure was from frustration as Regina made no move to pick up the food. “Regina, you have to eat. Just pick up the sandwich and take a bite.”

This time Regina did it and again Emma was surprised. She took one bite and put the sandwich back down.

“Are you my new master?”

Emma’s eyes got wide upon hearing Regina say these words. “What? No. No, no one is your master. Why would you ask that?”

She could hear the desperation in her voice and she didn’t care; what she wanted to know now was why Regina would say that. Regina’s eyes tightened in confusion – an expression Emma was beginning to hate.

“Why did you ask that?” Emma said more sternly this time, but Regina didn’t respond. “Where have you been? Who did this to you?”

She asked a litany of other questions until she felt Snow’s hand on her arm and she was being pulled back. She hadn’t even realized she had stepped right up to the bed, but as she moved back she also saw Regina’s heart rate had spiked again. She had frightened Regina and she felt like any progress they had made had been wiped out by her outburst.

“Emma, why don’t you go back to work? Henry and I can stay here with Regina. You’ve probably been here too long and need a change of scenery,” Snow said.

Emma just nodded. “Hey kid, you can have the rest of my food, and hers if she won’t eat it,” Emma said. She looked at Regina. “I’m sorry.”

She left, not wanting to be in that room any longer.

 

Emma went back to work, but she found it nearly impossible to concentrate for very long. Why would Regina ask if she was her new master? It begged the question, who did Regina think was her old master?

She finally couldn’t take sitting there any longer so she went out on patrol hoping to calm down. All she could feel was anger. Someone had done this to Regina, had made her into someone who was afraid. Emma was determined to find out who it was.

Regina could speak, which means she was capable of telling them what had happened Emma reasoned.

But she also knew she needed to tread lightly around this Regina. She couldn’t afford to scare her like she had there in the hospital. She didn’t want Regina equating her with someone who she should be afraid of and she certainly didn’t want Regina thinking she was her master.

The more she thought about it, she realized that Regina had only taken bites of the sandwich when Emma had given her a direct command to eat. It made Emma feel even worse about the whole encounter.

Maybe it would be best if she backed off for now, she thought. If she did though, who would make sure Regina was being cared for?

The problem was Regina didn’t have anyone. Yes she had Henry but Henry couldn’t make the adult decisions that may need to be made.

Her mother was clearly willing to help out, but Emma would feel odd asking Snow to take on that kind of responsibility.

She parked her car and pulled out her phone to text Snow. She simply asked how things had gone with Regina.

Instead of getting a text in return her mother called her.

“I think you better sit down and speak with Henry tonight,” Snow said.

“Why, what happened?”

“He hasn’t said anything but I can tell he is upset. Regina wouldn’t respond to him. When you left she was looking at him because he was trying to talk to her, trying to get her to eat something, but she wouldn’t. Then she turned away from and laid on her side to go back to sleep. He didn’t eat anything, just threw the food in the trash and then we left.”

“I will come by and pick him up in an hour or so. I will talk to him then.”

“I called Archie. He said he will come by the hospital later and see Regina.”

Her mother was better at dealing with this than she was, Emma thought.

“Thanks,” Emma sighed. “Hopefully he can get through to her.”

They ended the call and Emma continued to sit there in her car thinking about the situation. She guessed her only hope at this point was that Archie could help her.

 

Emma picked Henry up but waited until they got home before speaking to him. The entire ride he was silent and he tried to go directly to his room once they were home.

“Hold up,” Emma said. “Come sit with your mom so we can talk about what’s happening with your other mom.”

“What is there to talk about?” he said making no move to sit with her on the couch. “She doesn’t even know who I am.”

“She may not now but that doesn’t mean she won’t remember.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You’re right, I don’t but do you care any less for her because she doesn’t remember you?”

The question seemed to stun him.

“This is her fault to begin with,” he said.

This time it was Emma’s turn to be stunned.

“What do you mean by that?”

“She said it herself that it was time for her to pay for the things she had done.”

Emma couldn’t believe she was hearing this.

“Do you believe she deserved this?” Emma asked.

“I’m sure that is what people are saying around town.”

“I don’t care what other people say; I am asking you, do you think she deserved to have this done to her? Because let’s make no mistake, someone did this to her.”

Henry stood there and Emma saw his features soften. “I just want my mom to be back.”

“She is back.”

“No, she’s not,” he said. “That person in that hospital room, that’s not my mom.”

She didn’t really know what to say in response. “She’s going to need our help. You saw her, and I know that’s got to be tough on you to see her like that, but we are all the family she’s got. Regina … she’s the toughest person I know and she’ll get through this, but to do that she’s going to need her son at her side.”

“I know this is going to sound selfish, but I don’t want to see her like that. The way she was in the hospital, I don’t want that to be the image I have of her in my head.”

Emma nodded, “I understand. If you don’t feel comfortable visiting her, then I am not going to force you.”

“Can I go to my room now?”

“Yeah.”

She watched as he disappeared to his room and she thought about how that couldn’t have gone worse. There were so many times in the last 14 months that she felt like she failed him. It wasn’t so much failure as feeling like Regina would have known the right thing to say or do for him.

She knew that Henry didn’t really believe Regina deserved what happened to her, but right now he was tore up over it and probably didn’t know how to handle seeing his mom like that.

 

Emma was finishing up her morning coffee after a night where she barely got any sleep. “You ready kid?” she called out.

“Yeah,” he said coming out with his bookbag. She was going to drop him off at school and then head into work.

Hopefully she could get a whole day’s worth of work in without distraction. They were no sooner in the car when her phone rang and she recognized the number as the hospital. So much for no distractions she thought as she answered it.

“Sheriff Swan,” she said.

“Sheriff,” Dr. Whale said. “I have a missing person to report. It appears Regina finally made her escape.”

“How is that possible?”

“One of the nurses called in sick today which left the ward short staffed when it came to shift change and there was a delay in anyone checking on her. During that time she apparently managed to leave her room. The nurses and orderlies are searching the hospital, but so far they have not found her.”

“You make them search every inch of that place,” Emma said. “I will be there after I drop Henry off at school.”

She hung up the phone without waiting for him to answer.

“What’s wrong?” Henry asked.

“Regina’s missing. She left her room at some point this morning. They are looking for her there but haven’t found her.”

She put the car in gear. The sooner she got Henry to school the sooner she could get to the hospital to help in the search.

“Can we go by the house?” Henry asked.

It took Emma a second to realize he meant the mansion.

“If she left the hospital, maybe she went home,” he said.

“Ok. Let’s go.”

They got to the house and Emma was surprised that Henry had the key with him. Had he been carrying it around all this time, she wondered.

They entered, Emma insisting on going first, and she didn’t see or hear anything that gave her an immediate indication that anyone was there.

“Regina?” she said loudly. “Regina, if you’re here, it’s Emma and Henry.”

They heard something clatter up the stairs and Emma and Henry looked at each other before heading up.

“Regina,” Emma called out again as they neared the top. If Regina was there she wanted her to have full warning that they were on their way. The last thing she wanted to do was scare the other woman again.

She moved forward thinking Regina was probably in her room again, but as she passed Henry’s bedroom she saw her. She stopped and moved to the doorway with Henry on her heels. Regina, who was dressed only in the hospital gown, was in the process of picking up a framed photo that was on the floor. Emma guessed it had fallen and that was the noise they heard. Regina straightened, her good hand gripping the photo that she was now staring at.

Emma knew which photo it was. She had been surprised when Henry had chosen to leave it behind. It was a photo of Regina and Henry – a smile on both of their faces. She figured Henry was maybe six or seven in the photo – years before he would show up at her doorstep.

“Regina,” Emma said softly, but it must not have been soft enough as it seemed to startle Regina who dropped the photo. Henry rushed in and picked it up. He stood there in front of his mother and held it out to her. She glanced over at Emma before taking it from him. She stared at it again for a moment before holding it out for Henry to take.

He seemed sad that she did but he took it from her. “This was your favorite photo of us. You have the same one in your office,” he said.

Regina tilted her head as if she was trying to understand what he was saying.

“Who lives here?” she asked him. Her voice was still low and raspy.

“This is our home,” Henry said. “This is my room and your room is just down the hall. Do you remember any of this?”

Emma watched as Regina seemed to struggle with understanding. Regina bit her lip and then looked at Emma.

“Can I sleep?”

“Um, yeah, we’ll take you back to the hospital.”

“Here,” Regina said.

“Look, you’re hurt and you should be in the hospital. The doctors and nurses there, they will be able to help if you’re in pain or something.”

She realized she sounded like an idiot but she wasn’t sure Regina fully understood her anyway.

“Don’t want to go.”

The sound of Regina saying that hurt Emma because she knew she had only one response she could make. “I am sorry, but you have to go back to the hospital. Come on.”

She motioned for Regina to walk toward her and Regina did so, and Emma felt bad for making her do it. Regina paused in the doorway, reaching out to touch it and Emma realized she was steadying herself. If she doubted her rationale of taking Regina back to the hospital she didn’t now seeing her close up. She looked even more pale than she had at the hospital and Emma looked down at Regina’s feet and saw they were dirty. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to her that Regina had to have walked here.

Regina let go of the doorframe and stepped out and almost immediately had to grab a hold of Emma to remain upright.

“Ok, maybe you should lie down a moment before we leave,” Emma said and she helped direct Regina into her room and got her on the bed. Regina laid down and curled up on herself again, closing her eyes.

“Maybe she should stay here,” Henry said, looking not at Emma, but at Regina. “She came here when she first got back; and again so maybe she is starting to remember.”

“Look at her; does she look like she needs to be anywhere but in a hospital?”

“She isn’t going to be in the hospital forever though.”

“And when Dr. Whale says she is ready to be released we will deal with it.”


	5. Chapter 5

Regina woke, the traces of a nightmare flittered through her mind as she became conscious. She was immediately aware that she was in that strange place again – the one called a hospital.

She remembered Emma telling her she had to go back there. She didn’t want to be there, but she figured if Emma said she had to be then she didn’t have much choice.

This place confused her. Nothing seemed familiar, yet the people here acted as if it should be familiar to her. Everywhere she looked things were strange. The house she had gone to, the boy Henry had said it was their home. That she lived there with him, her son, seemed unfathomable to her.

She sat up in bed feeling the pain from her wounds, but the pain didn’t bother her. These were minor injuries her mind told her, nothing compared to what she had experienced.

That was the problem though, her mind was supplying thoughts like that one, but she didn’t know why. She didn’t know anything about herself.

They called her Regina so she guessed that must be her name but it meant nothing to her.

She looked down again at this strange wrapping on her wrist. Someone had called it a cast. It itched around the edges and she scratched at it. She would like it removed but she didn’t see how to do that.

She noticed that there was nothing holding her to the bed for which she was thankful. She didn’t like to be restrained. She knew that with great certainty although again she didn’t know why she felt this way.

She hadn’t been awake that long when one of the women – the nurses came in and saw she was awake. The woman asked her how she felt, but Regina didn’t respond as the woman looked at the weird machines.

“I am going to have something brought to you so you can eat,” the woman said before leaving.

Regina was hungry and the idea of food sounded good to her right now.

She wondered if Emma would be coming back and if she did if she would let her leave this place. Emma said she wasn’t her master, but Regina wasn’t sure. If it wasn’t Emma who was it? Again it was like there was a certainty in her mind that it was right that she had a master.

The food was brought to her a short time later and while she paused to examine it a moment, it didn’t take long for her to start to eat. As she did so she wondered when the last time was that she had eaten a full meal. Like everything else it was a blank in her mind.

She finished as much of the food as she felt she could eat and pushed the rest aside. Someone came by and took the rest sometime later. She lay back down although she did not sleep. Time passed and every so often a nurse would come in and ask her how she was feeling. She was sitting up again when Emma knocked on the doorframe before entering. There was man with her who wore glasses and smiled at her. She thought it was a kind smile and she wondered if he too knew her.

“Regina, this is Archie,” Emma said. “He’s a friend. He’s here to help.”

“Hi Regina,” Archie said stepping forward. “It’s good to see you again.”

So this man did know her, she thought.

“I am going to let you two talk,” Emma said backing away.

When she left the man took a seat on the chair, still smiling at her.

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

She shook her head no.

“That’s ok,” he said. “I imagine this must all be overwhelming to you. You should know that there are people here who care about your well being. People like Emma and Henry. And me. I hope that I might be able to help you remember your life here. That’s what I do, I try and help people. It’s a different way then how the nurses and doctors help people. They try and help the body heal, I try to heal the mind.”

Regina wasn’t sure what he meant by healing the mind and her expression must have conveyed that.

“It’s ok if you don’t feel ok,” Archie said. “No one expects you to be. You have obviously experienced some sort of trauma. There is no pressure here to talk or do anything that might make you uncomfortable. I am here to listen if you want to talk.”

Regina remained silent.

“We’ve known each other for many years Regina, many years. I just want to help when you are ready. We can talk about anything you want, about Henry, about Storybrooke, or the Enchanted Forest.”

Henry, she thought, Henry was the only name that made any sense to her from what he said. Henry – her son. Was it possible she had a son, she wondered.

“My son?”

“Yes, Henry is your son. You named him after your father.”

My father’s name was Henry, or is Henry. No, her mind told her, her father was dead. She looked away from Archie, a sense of sadness suddenly gripping her. Her father was dead. An image of kindly, older man came into her mind. She didn’t know if that was her father or someone else. She wished her mind would give her an answer that made sense to her.

She suddenly didn’t want this man to be there in the room with her. She wanted to be left alone. She turned from him completely, lying with her back to him, hoping he would leave. A few moments later she heard him leave.

 

“That was quicker than I would have hoped,” Emma said as Archie left the room.

“I told you that you can’t think that she is magically going to be ok.”

“Well what’s wrong with her?”

“It’s hard to say. I would say she’s been traumatized greatly and she’s not likely to speak much until she feels it is safe to do so. The only thing she said to me was in regards to Henry.”

“That’s good isn’t it?”

Archie shrugged. “She questioned if Henry was her son and she had no reaction when I mentioned Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest. At first I thought she must have no memories of these things, but when I mentioned Henry was named for her father she reacted. She didn’t say anything, in fact it made her shut down completely and she turned her back on me, signaling that she at least was done with the conversation. Somewhere inside her mind there is a good chance her memories are there.”

“I hope so,” Emma said. “This is tearing Henry up.”

“I would be happy to speak to him if he wants.”

“I will suggest it. In the meantime, what do we do about her?”

“What do you mean?”

“I talked to Dr. Whale while you were in there; he said he could release her as soon as tomorrow. What do we do with her?”

“Take her home. She’s gone there twice so there must be some reason she was drawn to it. It could be her mind senses that it’s familiar even if she can’t process why that is exactly. She needs to be around the familiar so it will help jog her memory.”

“She can’t be there by herself.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that.”

Emma put her hands in her back pockets. She knew it would come to this, but she didn’t want this responsibility.

“I get that she needs help, and I want to help her but …”

“But what?”

“Come on Archie, you can’t tell me that seeing her like that isn’t unnerving.”

“It most certainly is. In a way the Regina we knew has been stripped bare and this is what remains. That doesn’t mean the Regina we knew isn’t in there still. Somehow I don’t think that is what is unnerving you though. Emma, let’s sit.”

They walked over to a small waiting area and sat down.

“There was nothing you could have done. I wasn’t there with you all when Pan’s curse came barreling toward us, but my understanding of the situation is that there was nothing anyone but Regina could do. She chose to sacrifice herself so that Henry and the rest of us would be safe. You have no cause to feel guilty.”

“Yeah, well that’s easy for you to say. Did you know Henry asked me to do something? When he realized that she was going to sacrifice herself, he asked me to help her and I stood there doing nothing.”

“Because there was nothing you could do in that moment. But what you have done since is what I am sure Regina would have wanted you to do and that is take care of Henry. You know this. You know all she would have asked of you was to make sure he was safe and you have done that.”

“I guess,” she said.

“Her recovery could take some time,” he said. “I admit even after hearing what condition she was in, I was still a little shocked to see her like that.”

“Someone did a number on her, that’s for sure. I don’t feel real great about her asking me if I was her master and obeying me when I told her to do something.”

“Yes, you mentioned that earlier. That could get complicated for you and her. She needs to trust you, but not from a level where she feels subservient to you in some way. It’s too early for me to get any sense from her about what kind of trauma she may have endured beyond the physical. I did notice when she spoke that one time that her voice was raw, and I wonder if that is due to her not having used her voice much recently or if she strained her vocal cords by over using them.”

“Neither gives me much comfort.”

“No, it doesn’t. Look, if you are prepared to help her then you need to be all in. You can’t drop out part way through the process or she will never develop any level of trust with you.”

“I will do whatever I can for Henry’s sake and for hers.”


	6. Chapter 6

Henry opened the door for Regina to enter their home – through the front door this time. She kept looking around her as if to take everything in. Emma followed a couple of paces behind.

Getting Regina to this point had not been easy. When Dr. Whale decided she could be released Emma knew there was only one place she could take her – the mansion. She had brought some of her stuff over earlier in the day and put it in the guest room. Henry also got his things. Emma hadn’t wanted to bring the things over at the same time they brought Regina in case Regina questioned it. After all Henry had already told her that was their house. What, if anything, she thought about Emma being there she certainly wasn’t saying.

Snow had gone grocery shopping for them so there was food there.

The first obstacle after explaining to Regina that she was going home was getting Regina dressed. Emma had brought some clothes over – the nearest she could find for casual clothes in Regina’s wardrobe. She had handed them over to Regina in the hospital room but like with everything else Regina looked at them like she wasn’t sure what to do with them.

Never would Emma have thought she would be explaining to Regina – who was practically a fashion queen – that she couldn’t leave the hospital in the hospital gown. But explain she did.

Emma was beginning to wonder if the trauma hadn’t just affected Regina’s memory but also her cognitive skills.

Once dressed, the next challenge was the car.

Regina had looked at Emma’s Bug like it was the devil itself. She had backed away from it as soon as Emma had pulled up to the front of the hospital. Even Henry getting into it didn’t seem enough to convince Regina that she should be going anywhere near it.

Emma hated herself a little more when she finally ordered Regina to get in. When Regina didn’t hesitate to obey that command Emma felt like she was going to puke.

Regina had sat completely tense in her seat throughout the drive over. She kept her eyes straight ahead and everything about her body was rigid. When they arrived and Henry got out to open Regina’s door, she moved quickly to get out of it.

Now here they were inside Regina’s home with the former queen who had yet to say a word to either of them that day. Once Regina looked around the foyer, she headed up the stairs. Henry looked at Emma who indicated they should follow.

Regina stopped at Henry’s door looking in at the room for several minutes of silence. Emma almost willed Regina to remember something, anything, because it would mean so much to Henry if there was some sign that her memories were intact. But Regina gave them no indication of that even as she moved on to her own bedroom.

She walked into the room and immediately stopped – her gaze moving to the open bathroom door. She looked back over her shoulder at Emma for a moment – their eyes meeting and Emma again mentally asking Regina to remember something.

Again she was disappointed as Regina moved and took a seat on the floor, her back against the bed. She hugged her knees against her chest and put her head down.

“Come on kid,” Emma said. “Let’s give her some space.”

Emma closed the door behind them. They went downstairs to the kitchen where Snow had left her a casserole to warm up for dinner. She put it in the oven and then went with Henry to take a seat at the dining room table.

“What do we do now?” he asked.

“There isn’t much we can do except keep an eye on her. I have the next two days off from work barring a major emergency and Archie is coming tomorrow to try and speak with her again,” Emma said. “Let’s hope being here, being around the familiar will help her remember. Archie says it is important that we don’t pressure her and don’t do anything that will make her lose trust in us.”

“What if she doesn’t get her memories back?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess we will confront that if it happens.”

“She was scared of the car,” Henry noted. “It wasn’t just that she didn’t seem to know what it was, she was scared of it.”

“I noticed. I don’t think she’s been here in our world all of this time,” Emma said. “Between the arrow wound and the way she looks at things in this world, I think she may have been some place like the Enchanted Forest.”

“Maybe someone there hurt her because of what she did with casting the curse,” Henry said.

“Could be,” Emma said, but somehow she doubted it. If someone had wanted revenge against Regina why go about it this way? She had read the medical report Dr. Whale had prepared and what it suggested was a pattern of abuse, which while it could point to revenge, Emma just wasn’t sure.

Someone had done this to Regina over time and Emma couldn’t help but wonder how long Regina fought back against it.

The rest of the evening passed quietly. Emma had gone upstairs to ask Regina if she wanted to come down for dinner, but she got only a blank stare in return so she ended up bringing dinner up to her. At least she ate most of it, Emma thought when she took the plate back downstairs.

What concerned her was that Regina hadn’t moved from that spot.

Later when Emma went to check on her she found Regina curled up on the floor asleep. Instead of waking her Emma pulled a blanket off of the bed and draped it over her before quietly leaving the room.

Regina was still asleep when she and Henry called it a night and went to their respective bedrooms.

 

The scream woke Emma who scrambled from the bed and out the door by the time the second scream came. Henry came out of his room as well and Emma stopped him from entering Regina’s room.

“Remember the nurses said she has been having nightmares,” Emma said. “Just stay out here, let me check on her.”

She didn’t want Henry to see his mother like that.

She entered the room and turned on the light to find Regina still lying on the floor asleep, but her whole body seemed tense and she was twitching every few seconds. Emma wasn’t sure if there wasn’t something wrong with her besides having a nightmare but when Regina screamed again Emma rushed over to her. She was on her knees next to her and reached out to wake her.

When Emma made contact with Regina shoulder she felt her magic flair up. Suddenly she was standing in a dark room. She looked all around her but she could barely see anything. There was a faint light to her left that she could now make out was coming through the bottom of a door.   

A noise behind her had her scrambling to see in that direction. Her eyes were now adjusting to the light.

“Is someone here?” she asked.

No answer.

“Where is this place?”

She heard a shuffling in front of her and she could now make out a faint outline of something – someone lying on the floor.

There was another noise this time from outside the door and the light had gotten brighter. Someone was unlocking the door. She stepped aside, ready to confront whoever it was. The door opened and two men entered, one carrying a torch.

“Who are you?” Emma asked. But the men walked by her like she wasn’t even there and she watched as they approached the person lying on the floor.

“Regina,” Emma said stepping forward now that the light had illuminated that it was her lying there. She appeared to be asleep, but there were chains around her wrists which were attached to the wall behind her.

She saw the lead man bend down to touch her.

“Hey you, get away from her,” Emma said as she ran forward, but as she tried to reach out and grab him to pull him away her hands went right through him. She stopped looking down at her hands and then tried again. Each time she passed through him like she was a ghost.

She backed up a step not understanding what was going on. She watched as the man unlocked the manacles around Regina’s wrists. As he did so Regina suddenly moved pulling something up with her hand and she plunged it into the man’s neck. He tried to scream but it merely gurgled as blood came gushing out from what looked like a piece of sharpened wood that she had stabbed him with.

Regina didn’t hesitate as she moved past that man rammed into the man holding the torch, knocking him backward. She went down to her knees in the process but was back up with the torch he had dropped in hand. She shoved the fire into his face and he screamed even as she backed away to the door, closing it as she exited. Emma ran toward the door realizing she was trapped but as she stopped in front of it, she reached out and her hand passed through it.

Taking a deep breath she plunged through the door and came out the other side.

“This is freaky,” she said and turned to see Regina fleeing down a corridor.

She yelled Regina’s name before taking off after her. Regina had gone down another hall and was now running up some stairs, although Emma was catching up to her quickly.

“Regina!” she yelled again but there was no reaction from the fleeing woman.

Emma bounded up the stairs after her – taking them two at a time and she caught up to Regina who had stopped by an open doorway. She was off to one side of it and had carefully glanced inside the room. Emma feeling like she had to be less careful went to the doorway and looked. Inside there were three other men – guards Emma realized – and she wondered how Regina planned on getting by them. She moved back out of the way – none of them having seen her – and she saw from Regina’s expression that she too was thinking of how to get out of there.

Emma again looked in the room. All the guards were dressed in the same grey and black clothing. One was seated at a desk while one was sitting on a bench sharpening a sword. The third was sitting on a chair near the exit with it tipped back against the wall. His eyes were closed but he wasn’t sleeping.

There was no way Regina would be able to sneak by them without being seen. Regina too had appeared to understand this as she began to back down the stairs. They got back to the bottom where Regina went back down the corridor she had come from but this time she took another turn. She was looking all around her and Emma wondered if wherever this place was Regina was not familiar with it. While she appeared to know where she was going when she first fled, she was now hesitant with all of her moves. She would occasionally stop outside of a door and listen before carefully opening it to look inside. Many doors were locked or were nothing more than storage. She had to double back a couple of times as they heard people in the corridors.

A cry of alarm went up which startled both of them and Emma knew they must have discovered Regina was gone. This spurred Regina to move quicker and less carefully. Regina took two more corridors and stopped. Most of the doors they had seen were wood with some sort of iron trim, with the exception of the doors near the room where Regina was being held. Emma recognized those doors were probably to cells like the one Regina was in. This door Regina was looking at now was larger than those doors and made entirely of black iron. She approached it slowly and put her palm flat against it.

“Come on Regina, if you are going through it, go through, I don’t think standing here is the best option,” Emma urged her as she continued to stand there. Regina closed her eyes a moment and leaned her forehead against the door before pushing off of it and deciding to go in another direction. Emma didn’t move, considering the door. Regina must know what was beyond that door, she conjectured, and whatever it was Regina must not want any part of it. Emma felt almost compelled to go through that door and find out, but she forced herself away from it and again caught up to Regina.

They could now hear shouts of the obvious search going on for Regina and Emma began going ahead of her to check the way. She took one corner and stopped. There were five guards coming in their direction. She turned to warn Regina but even as the words were on her tongue she knew it wasn’t possible for her to warn her. Regina came around the corner and stopped as she saw the guards and the guards saw her. There was a shout for her to stop but she turned and ran back the way they had come. They ended up in the hall with the door again just as two other guards came down the opposite entrance. Regina was trapped. They were standing practically in front of the door now and Regina looked at it.

“Just go,” Emma said, willing her to go through the door and at least try to prolong this escape attempt. But Regina didn’t. She waited there as the guards approached her and took her into custody. She was escorted not back to her cell but up the stairs once more and into the room where the guards had been sitting.

There was a man standing there. He was dressed more formally then the guards but yet in a manner that suggested he was a guard or a person of some importance. Regina was led up to him, two guards on either side of her holding her arms.

“You killed one of my men and severely injured another,” he said to her. “By my count that is now 31 of my men that you have injured, maimed or killed in your time here.”

“You are welcome to let me leave and you won’t have to worry about who number 32 will be,” she said. She stood straight in front of this man, staring him down, and Emma recognized that even if Regina felt in any way intimidated by him, she wasn’t going to show it.

“Not my decision,” he smiled at her. “That would belong to your master.”

The word got Emma’s attention fast.

“He is not my master, but he is clearly yours,” Regina said.

He grabbed her by the throat and leaned in to whisper into her ear. “I am going to enjoy watching you break.”

Regina turned her head quickly, not away but towards him. Emma watched as she latched onto the man’s left ear and bit hard. A small chunk of flesh tore away as he moved backward. Regina spit it out at the man’s feet.

“32,” she said.

He backhanded her so hard her head snapped back. Emma could tell the blow dazed her and if it wasn’t for the guards holding on to her, she might have fallen to the ground due to the force of it.

“Bring her,” he said walking out of the room.

 

Emma was suddenly in Regina’s room once again. She backed away from the brunette, who woke at the exact time that Emma again became aware of her surroundings. Both women stared at each other.


	7. Chapter 7

Emma finished explaining to her parents and Archie what had happened the night before. She could hardly believe it and she had experienced it. Regina hadn’t said anything to her even though Emma tried to get her to talk – tried to get her to react in some way that would let her know what she saw really happened.

Her parents and Archie listened and then began to ask questions, including having Emma describe the uniforms the guards had been wearing and the layout of the castle. In the end, none of them knew any more than before where Regina had been. Yet they all seemed to accept that what Emma had seen was the truth. They assumed it had something to do with either Regina’s or Emma’s magic.

Emma had told Henry as well, but gave him a more PG version of it. He didn’t need to hear all the details, she figured. He already knew something had happened to his mother and Emma wanted to protect him from the reality of it as much as possible.

“I am going to go upstairs and try to speak with her,” Archie said leaving Emma there with her parents.

“Are you ok?” Snow asked her.

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “It was just weird you know. It was like being a ghost. I could see and hear everything but I couldn’t do anything about any of it. Whatever happened to her, wherever she has been she didn’t go without a fight; that is for sure.”

“I guess we shouldn’t expect anything less of her,” Charming said. “Those uniforms though, those aren’t anything I recognize from the Enchanted Forest, nor would people in this world be dressed like that in a castle.”

“Perhaps we should ask Gold,” Snow suggested. “He has knowledge of other realms; maybe he would know where she was at based on your description.”

“Maybe,” Emma said. She was still a little shaken up by the whole experience. She hadn’t slept after it happened, and when she checked on Regina this morning and found her sitting in the same position – she guessed Regina hadn’t slept either. The other woman’s silence was still unnerving her. She would feel better if Regina showed even a small bit of that fire Emma had witnessed when she faced that guard.

This was not the same Regina however.

Emma was also curious about the door – the one Regina refused to go into yet she seemed to know what was behind it if her reaction to it was any indication.

There was so much she wondered about but mostly she wondered if she would again see a vision like that if she touched Regina.

…

Archie knocked on the door before opening it to find Regina sitting on the floor, her back against the bed. Emma had warned him that she would probably be in that position as she had been since she had woken.

“Hello Regina,” Archie greeted her. “Do you mind if I visit with you for a little while?”

Regina didn’t say yes or no, although she did look at Archie so he took it as an acceptance of his presence. He took a seat in front of her, sitting cross-legged.

“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.

Archie hadn’t expected a response – figuring that this would be another session where he did the talking. What he was looking for was her reactions to things. Much like the first time when she reacted to the mention of her father, he needed to see what would cause her to react – a sign that there were memories in her mind somewhere even if she didn’t know how to process them.

“I hope you slept well, being back here in your own home,” he said. She didn’t react.

“Henry is glad you are back,” he continued. “He has missed you. When you went away, well he thought – most of us thought – we would never see you again. For a kid, even one who has done as much growing up as Henry has; it’s hard when they lose a parent. You don’t want to accept that person is gone from your life forever.”

“My father, he is dead isn’t he?” Regina asked, surprising Archie.

“Yes, he passed away many years ago.”

 Her eyes moved to the floor and Archie gave her several moments of silence – unsure if she was remembering something, or merely feeling something.

“He was … sad,” she said.

Archie waited for her to see if she was going to say something else, but she didn’t.

“Did you like being able to sleep here last night, in your own home?”

She looked around the room as if trying to determine if this was indeed her home. Her mind was still trying to find a way to process all of this. This place, this Storybrooke, was odd to her, yet at the same time she had been drawn to this house for reasons she couldn’t explain.

She looked down at her cast-covered wrist.

“Someone hurt me,” she said quietly. Her eyes went back to Archie. “Why?”

“We don’t know,” he admitted. “We don’t know where you have been, how you got back or who caused your injuries. Chances are you do know though, but your brain isn’t ready to process that information. Our minds, they have ways of protecting us. It may be that is what your brain is doing now – it’s protecting you from bad memories. But not all of your memories are bad ones, and you need to tap into those too. Do you remember anything? You mentioned your father, do you remember him?”

“He had kind eyes, but he was sad. He looked at me and he was sad,” she said. “I made him sad.”

“You don’t know that,” Archie said. He knew that Regina had killed her own father to enact the curse, and he had allowed it. He had allowed her to do it so she could have a chance at a happy ending. “You need to be careful that as you remember things, you don’t try and interpret them too strongly because you might be missing a piece of information that will make it all make sense. Your father loved you very much Regina and all he wanted was for you to be happy.”

“Was I?”

“Were you what?” he asked unsure what she was asking.

“Was I happy?”

Archie found this wasn’t an easy question to answer. But he also knew that lying to Regina would break any trust that he might build with her.

“I think there were things that made you happy,” he said. “Henry would be the number one thing on that list. You love your son very much and he loves you and that makes you happy.”

“I don’t remember him,” she said.

“That’s ok; like I said I believe your memories are in your brain and it’s may take time before you remember things. Right now, you are just a little lost.”

…..

Emma was nervous when she went to bed night wondering if something would again happen. She was pleased that Regina had spoken with Archie earlier that day, but she didn’t really extend that to anyone else. Emma did convince her to come out of her room and down to the dining room for dinner. Regina kept her head down most of the time as she ate, of which she did little. When she looked at Emma or Henry it was if she was studying them.

Emma noticed she looked more at Henry than she did her.

Henry had tried talking to Regina at dinner, but when she didn’t respond he got disheartened and remained silent himself. After dinner he merely went up to his room to be alone, just like Regina did.

Emma checked on Regina before she retired to her own room for the night. She found Regina was still sitting on the floor and still wearing the clothes she had on when she came home from the hospital. Maybe tomorrow Emma would try and explain showering and changing clothes on a regular basis to her.

She asked Regina if she wanted to lay on the bed, or rather told Regina it was ok if she wanted to lay on the bed but the other woman made no move to do so. She was torn between being too hands on with this or being hands off. She felt like if she did nothing then Regina would merely sit up in that room all day long staring at the walls because for all Emma could tell that is all she had done. But if she was too hands on, she was afraid Regina would be looking at her as her “master,” and that was a situation she wanted to avoid.

Then there was the fact she had to return to work. She had only taken two days off and the first one was over with already. After tomorrow she would need to figure out what to do about Regina. She wasn’t sure leaving her alone in the house with Henry was a good idea. Maybe she would luck out and wake to a Regina who remembered who she was. She didn’t believe this, but it was a nice thought as she laid down to sleep.

…

 

Emma shot up from her face-down-in-the-pillow position when she heard the scream. Again, she was out the door, finding Henry there as well.

“I got this,” she said sleepily to him.

She entered Regina’s room, which still had a bedside light on that Regina must not have turned off. Regina was on the floor with her pillow and blanket in the throes of another nightmare. Emma hesitated this time as she knelt beside her. She was about to shake her to wake up when Regina seemed to calm down a little.

Emma’s hand was mere inches from Regina’s shoulder and she took a deep breath before touching her. When her hand made contact she was actually expecting something to happen, but nothing did.

Regina seemed to have slipped back into a deep sleep and Emma got up, shutting the light off and exited. Henry was still out there.

“Just a nightmare, but she seems to be sleeping ok now.”

“So nothing happened.”

“Nope. Maybe it was a one-time thing,” Emma shrugged. “Either way, she’s settled down now and hopefully she will sleep through the rest of the night.”

 

Not an hour later, Emma was again in Regina’s room as she was woken from another nightmare. This time Emma did have to shake Regina awake to get her to stop screaming. What she wasn’t expecting was Regina to wake as scared as she was. She got to her feet quickly and scrambled away from Emma.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, it’s just me,” Emma said calmly. “You were having a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. You’re safe. It was just a nightmare.”

Regina’s breathing, which had been coming in short bursts, now began to even out.

“Are you ok?” Emma asked.

Regina nodded yes.

“Good. Do you um want to try and get back to sleep?” Emma said, wishing she could get back to sleep. She imagined this was what new mothers must feel like – constantly up checking on their child.

Regina shook her head no.

Emma sighed. “Then what do you want to do?”

Regina didn’t say anything. “Fine,” Emma said, trying not to get frustrated, but not succeeding it at it. “I am tired, so I am going to go back to my room and sleep.”

With no reaction from Regina, Emma turned and closed the door behind her. At least Henry hadn’t woken up this time, or if he had, he had stayed in his room. Emma went to hers and collapsed on the bed in hopes of salvaging some sleep.

 

When Emma left, Regina continued to stand there, trying to figure out if she had done something wrong. Emma seemed upset with her, so she figured she must have done something wrong. She took a seat on the floor once more but was up a few minutes later feeling anxious.

The feeling wasn’t going away and she suddenly didn’t want to be in that room so she left.

 

The knock on her door wasn’t a welcome sound to Emma who groaned as she turned over onto her back.

“What is it?”

“Mom’s not in her room.”

Emma sat up, “What? Come in.”

Henry entered the room, holding the door open. “I got up and her door was open, she isn’t in there.”

“Shit,” Emma said getting out of bed. “Did you look anywhere yet?”

“No, I thought I should get you.”

“Ok, let’s start checking all the rooms up here and work our way down.”

They had no luck upstairs and Emma led the way downstairs, calling out Regina’s name. They began to search the main floor and while Emma was in the kitchen, Henry called her name. She found him just outside of Regina’s home office. She peered in. Regina was in the chair behind the desk, her head down on the top of it apparently asleep.

Emma approached her, not imagining that was a comfortable way to sleep. When she got up to her she was about to wake her when she noticed the paper on the desk. She had to pull it out from under Regina’s arm and she studied it a moment.

“What is it?” Henry asked, looking at it.

“She must have drawn it,” Emma said, her eyes unable to look away from the paper. “It’s the door from the vision I had. This is the door that she stopped in front of, the one she wouldn’t enter.”

It was a simple sketch done in pencil, but Emma recognized it immediately. She reached out and shook Regina gently. Regina woke, confused as to where she was at for a moment.

“Regina, why did you draw this?” Emma asked, holding up the picture so Regina could see it. She wasn’t expecting Regina to take it from her hand. She sat it on the desk in front of her and Emma could now see that there were other papers in front of Regina, other sketches, other attempts at drawing the door, but the one Emma had held was by far the best sketch of it.

“Why did you draw this?” Emma repeated. “What’s behind that door?”

“I don’t know,” Regina answered. “I see it. In my dreams. I see it.”


	8. Chapter 8

Emma was tired. Since this whole thing had started with Regina she had yet to get a full night of sleep. Every night Regina would have nightmares which were waking Emma each time. Henry – because Emma felt no reason for both of them to suffer – had taken to falling asleep with his headphones on which had at least helped him sleep through the night. Emma didn’t have that luxury though since she was sheriff and had to be able to hear her phone if it rang.

Regina had added another layer to Emma’s sleeping problem in that after that one night, if Regina couldn’t get back to sleep she would often leave her room. While she had not left the house, Emma couldn’t help but be concerned the first time Regina did this. The first couple of times Emma would get up after she realized Regina never came back to the room and she would go searching for her. Again, she was creeped out by this new Regina when she would find her standing still in a room in the darkness.

Each time Emma would approach and try to talk to her and she got this feeling from the look in Regina’s eyes that perhaps she was remembering something but she would never speak to Emma.

Now, more than two weeks into this – and all those nights of interrupted sleep later – Emma didn’t get up to check where she was at. In the morning when she woke Regina would be in her room or someplace else in the house – always silent.

Emma had asked Archie about the possibility of having Regina tested for her cognitive abilities. The rare times Regina spoke her sentences were choppy like she wasn’t sure how to string a complete sentence together. Emma had to explain everything to her – from how to work the shower and changing clothes regularly to things like how to get a glass of water if she wanted it or the fact the fridge kept things cold. When she did these things she could tell Regina was listening to her, but she was never quite sure Regina understood it until she actually saw Regina do it.

Archie said he would look into testing Regina, but he wants to hold off a bit.

Dr. Whale had told Emma to bring Regina in for a check up after a week had passed which Emma thought was a good idea.

Regina on the other hand did not think so.

Emma had sat her down after dinner the day before and explained to her that she would be going to the hospital with her the next day so Dr. Whale could examine her and her wounds and make sure she was healing ok and that were no other issues. This wasn’t the first time Emma had explained Dr. Whale’s position and what he did.

When she was released from the hospital the first time Emma had picked up some prescriptions for Regina – an antibiotic and some pain pills. Emma had explained what they were for but Regina had told her “No hurt,” which Emma took to mean she wasn’t in pain. Still she couldn’t get her to take the antibiotic either so Emma merely hid those pills in the food Regina ate.

Explaining that she needed to go back to the hospital didn’t go well either. Regina simply said no to Emma after she was done explaining. Emma tried to explain it in a different way and again Regina said no and then got up and left, which may have surprised Emma more than saying no. Regina tended not to act on her own when Emma was around, which annoyed the hell out of Emma.

If Regina finished eating before Emma and Henry, which was often since Regina didn’t eat much, then Regina would sit there until Emma was done and would continue to sit there unless Emma got up to leave. Now Regina wouldn’t follow her, but she seemed to interpret Emma leaving as a sign that she could also go. Usually she went upstairs or to her other favorite place in the house – her office.

As the next day came around and it was time for Regina to go to the hospital, she shook her head no. Emma asked her nicely, but still Regina wouldn’t leave her room. Emma was on the verge of simply telling her to come with her – while trying not to make it sound like an order per se – but in the end she merely gave up. She called Dr. Whale and explained the situation to him and asked him if he would be willing to come to the house to examine Regina. There was a lot of back and forth about it, but in the end he finally agreed to come that evening after his normal rotation at the hospital.

Emma had left and gone to work agreeing to be back in time for Whale to get there. That had been a matter of much discussion – what to do with Regina while Emma was at work and Henry was at school. It wasn’t as if there was a day care Emma could drop her off at so someone could watch her. Emma considered bringing her to the station with her but didn’t think that was a good idea if she had to go out for an emergency and after Regina’s refusal to go to the hospital, Emma wasn’t sure Regina would have gone with her to the station. In the end it was decided to let her stay at the house. Emma was nervous the first day they had done it, but nothing happened.

It didn’t appear that Regina had any desire to leave the house, and of course she hadn’t voiced any opposition to the plan.

Each day Henry or Emma got home Regina would be in her room or in her office.

Emma got home in time to meet Dr. Whale and she explained to Regina who was up in her room at the time that Whale was coming there to check her out. Regina gave no indication she understood or cared so Emma merely waited downstairs for him to get there.

“She’s upstairs,” Emma said leading him. They had already spoken on the phone a couple of times so he knew she hadn’t taken any pain medication and that Emma was sneaking her the antibiotics. “She’s still not saying much, although her voice is sounding better than it was in the hospital. She keeps fingering the cast I noticed. I am not sure if it is a nervous thing or if she doesn’t know what to make of it.”

“This house visit is a one-time thing,” he said. “You need to figure out some way to get her into the hospital. That wrist will need X-rayed in order for me to see if it is healing properly. Not to mention I would like to do another scan of her brain.”

“I know, and again I appreciate you coming here,” Emma said. “She’s just still a bit skittish.”

“Let’s get this over with shall we,” he said.

She led him up to Regina’s room where she was in her normal perch of sitting on the floor against the bed.

“Regina, you remember Dr. Whale,” Emma said. “He’s here to examine you like I explained.”

“She’s going to need to sit up on the bed at the very least,” Whale said.

“Regina, will you sit up on the bed,” Emma said.

Regina didn’t move.

“Sheriff Swan, I don’t have time for this,” Whale said.

“Hold on,” Emma said and she moved around Regina and took a seat on the bed. “Regina, will you come sit up on the bed? Like this.” She got up and sat back down and a moment later Whale was rolling his eyes as Regina mimicked the action.

“At least you have your puppy trained well,” he said.

“Dr. Whale,” Emma said forcefully. “Get on with the exam please.”

Regina gave Whale minimal trouble during the exam although like in the hospital Emma had to let Whale demonstrate on her first before Regina allowed it. Emma watched Regina’s reaction to Whale throughout and noticed while she was still tense and tended to shy away from him still, she wasn’t combative like she was in the hospital.

“I am finished,” Whale said finally. He went over a couple of things with Emma including giving her a prescription for a cream to help with where Regina was scratching or rubbing the skin around the cast. “You really need to get her into the hospital.”

“I know, I will see what I can do about it next week,” Emma said.

“Sedation is always an option.”

“Not funny.”

“I wasn’t making a joke,” he said seriously. “We could sedate her here, transport her to the hospital and back without her knowing anything. It could cut down on any stress to her and to us. Think about it.”

Whale turned to leave.

“Wait.”

He turned back at the sound of Regina’s voice. She hadn’t said anything the entire time, even though he had tried asking her about various things. Regina stood and Emma watched as she took something from the pocket of her pants and handed it to Whale. 

It was a folded piece of paper.

“What’s this?” he asked Regina and then looked at Emma when Regina remained silent.

“I don’t know,” Emma said.

He unfolded the paper and studied it. Emma couldn’t see it from where she was at but she saw Whale’s expression which she couldn’t quite figure out.

“What is it?” she finally asked.

“Um … it’s a drawing,” he said, showing it to her. Emma’s eyes got wide. It was a drawing of Whale – a very detailed drawing of Whale. Somehow Regina had been able to capture his face perfectly in this drawing. Emma could also tell based on the clothes Whale was wearing in the drawing, this wasn’t drawn from memory of Storybrooke. No, this was a drawing of Whale before Storybrooke ever existed.

“Thanks, I guess,” he said folding the paper back up and then it seemed like he couldn’t leave quick enough.

Emma had known Regina had been drawing – that is usually what she was doing when Emma or Henry found her in her office. Archie had even bought her a sketchbook and some drawing pencils after he learned of her drawing of the door. The picture she had just given Whale was clearly torn from that sketchbook.

Emma didn’t really know what she had been drawing in it as Regina usually closed it the moment someone came into the room. The fact she had drew such a detailed picture of Whale before Storybrooke could only mean one thing – she remembered something of her past.

Emma hadn’t felt like preparing anything for dinner that night so she just had pizza delivered. She told Henry about the check up and the picture of Whale. She tried to make it sound encouraging that Regina’s memories were indeed there somewhere in her mind, but Henry didn’t exactly celebrate it. He seemed to limit his contact with Regina, and Emma wasn’t sure she could blame him. It had to hurt to see Regina looking at him and knowing she didn’t really know who he was.

Most of their meals were either fairly quiet or consisted only of Emma and Henry speaking. But Emma noticed Regina still studied Henry every opportunity she got.

…

Now that two weeks had passed, Emma was ready for a break. She thought about asking her mother to come over and watch Regina for an evening so she could go somewhere and sleep the night away. As she laid in bed that night, she was just slipping into sleep when the first nightmare happened. She groaned as she got up wondering if was worse to be woken up or to be interrupted just as sleep came.

As per her routine, she slipped into the room quietly. She knelt next to Regina, who continued to sleep on the floor, and shook her awake. Regina woke but only for a moment before falling back asleep. Some nights were like this where she would wake quickly and fall asleep just as quickly. Usually on those nights Emma got no sleep because this would continue to happen all night long as nightmares assaulted her. 

Emma again groaned as she made to stand. She was beyond exhausted at this point and decided even the walk back to her room would be too much so she lay down on the unoccupied bed.

A knocking on the door woke her.

“Mom? Mom,”

The sound of Henry’s voice woke her even more and she sat up surprised to see she was in Regina’s bed and she wasn’t alone. Regina had also sat up – in bed – when Henry had come in.

“Um …” Emma said trying to think of a good explanation of why she was in Regina’s bed and for that matter why Regina was in Regina’s bed. She scrambled from the bed. “She had another nightmare and I was tired so I crashed in here in case she had another. She must have gotten into bed while I was asleep,” Emma said, realizing she had slept the through whole night through and Regina must have slept as well – or atleast hadn’t done anything to wake Emma.

“Your phone was ringing in your room,” he said.

“Oh, shit,” she said moving quickly from the room.

Henry too left the room and Emma was exiting her room talking on the phone. “Yeah, I will be right there.” She hung up the phone. “I have to head into the station.”

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, a trespassing report I need to look at. Will you be ok here?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Not like it will be any different than being alone in the house.”

“I know this isn’t easy,” Emma said. “But you have to believe she’s going to get better.”

“Actually I don’t have to believe that,” he said. “This isn’t fairy tale land.”

He stalked off to his room and Emma shook her head, not knowing what to say to him. When she looked up she noticed Regina was standing in her doorway and she wondered if Regina had heard their conversation. If her expression was anything to judge by she had – and she looked hurt.

Emma thought about saying something to her about how Henry didn’t mean it but Regina shut her door and Emma had some place to be.

…

Emma got out of her car and walked a path that had become familiar to her over the last year.

“Hey,”

Her father turned. “Good morning. Sorry to call you in but I figured you would want to see this.”

“No problem,” she said approaching the destroyed well. The protective fencing that had been put into place had been torn down on one side and her father was pointing at where the ground around it was disturbed.

She locked eyes with her father. “Someone came out of the well?”

“It kind of looks that way,” he said. “No footprints leading to it that are the same as the ones leading away.”

Emma followed the footprints. “How far do they lead?”

“Not far. As soon as you reach the forest proper whoever it was knew how to hide their tracks.”

Emma stepped a few paces into the woods. “Looks like we have a guest in Storybrooke,” she said.


	9. Chapter 9

Emma returned to the mansion later than she would have liked that day, but she had been out with her father trying to track whoever left those tracks into the forest. They had very little luck. She had asked her mother to go over however and make sure Henry and Regina had dinner. The truth was, she didn’t feel comfortable them being there alone.

As she told her dad, she didn’t believe it was a coincidence that someone came out of the well – a well that Regina had disappeared into all those months ago. She knew she had no real proof to connect the two things, but she had the feeling they were. They had already conjectured that Regina had escaped whoever had held her captive and that is how she ended up with the arrow in her. Now she couldn’t help but wonder if whoever it was, was now in Storybrooke looking to finish Regina off – or worse, here to take her back.

She had patrolled around the neighborhood before pulling into the driveway and parking the car. She walked around the house looking for any signs of footprints or anything else that may be amiss. Finally she entered the house and locked the door behind her. She would unlock it when her mother left and lock it back up behind her.

They had told Snow that they found, but told her not to tell Henry or anyone else until they had more to go on. She trusted her mother to keep Henry and Regina safe.

“Where is Henry and Regina?” Emma asked as she found her mother in the kitchen washing the dishes.

“They are upstairs. Did you find anything?”

“No,” she said. “Whoever left those footprints made sure those were the only signs of their passage. What about here? Anything unusual?”

“No,” Snow said. “She seemed to be studying me the entire time I was around her.”

“Yeah, she does that. I can’t help but feel like she is trying to figure out how she knows us. Or maybe that is just wishful thinking. What about Henry, how was he?”

“Quiet.”

Emma took a seat at the table. “I don’t know what to do. Every day that passes and she remains like this, the more he loses hope that she will remember who she is, remember who he is. I am not she even understands the concept that Henry is her son.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Besides my practically non-existent sleep? And my complete inability to do anything useful.”

“I think you are judging yourself too harshly,” Snow said sitting next to her and placing a hand over her daughter’s. “You are taking care of her, and I am sure that means a lot to her even if she doesn’t know how to express it. It means a lot to Henry too.”

“I just … I keep wishing there was someway to go back in time and prevent her from sacrificing herself for us. There had to be another way.”

“Even if there was, she obviously felt like there wasn’t time for another option. I know you know this. I know you know that wishing things for things to be different won’t help. All you can do is what you are doing, being here for her and Henry.”

“There has to be more I can do.”

“Oh honey, I know you do. Do you want me to stay here tonight? You could go home and get some sleep in your own bed.”

“Thanks, but I will be ok. I did actually sleep well last night. Thanks for watching over them. You should probably get home.”

“Ok,” she said. “There is a plate of food in the fridge for you. Eat something and then go to bed.”

They stood and Emma hugged her mother, grateful for her support. She walked her mother to the door and let her out before locking the place back up. She put her food in the microwave and then went around checking the back door to ensure it was locked and also the windows on the first floor. She sat at the table eating her dinner, but she wasn’t really tasting it. It was merely sustenance for her at this point. She left the dirty dish in the sink, figuring it could wait until morning. She turned off the lights and went upstairs.

She was stopped at Henry’s door, surprised that the door was open – Henry had been keeping it closed this entire time. She stood in the door way and watched as Henry was sitting on the floor next to Regina, who appeared to be reading one of Henry’s comic books.

“Hey kid,” she said.

Henry looked up at her and for the first time in a long time she could see him smiling as he scrambled to his feet.

“What’s going on here?” she asked.

“After dinner, I was in here and she knocked on the door. When I answered it, she was standing there not saying anything and then she pointed at one of my comic books on the bed and asked me what it was. She sat down and I showed it to her and explained it.”

“Is she reading it? I mean can she read it?” Emma asked. She was still not sure that Regina’s brain was working properly.

“I don’t know,” Henry said. “But I think she really likes the art work.”

“Oh. Well that’s progress, I guess.”

“Why are you getting home so late?”

“Just work,” she said. “Nothing major. I was thinking of turning in early tonight. Can you make sure your mom gets to bed?”

He looked back at Regina before turning back to her. “Sure.”

“Thanks. Now you two don’t stay up all night reading comics,” she said tousling his hair a bit before retiring to her room.

She changed her clothes and slipped into bed, hoping sleep would come quickly.

Emma wasn’t sure what had woken her – a sound maybe. She reached for her phone – 4:25 a.m. She had gone to sleep early and while it took her a while to get to sleep, she finally did so. She put the phone aside, ready to dip back down onto her pillow and catch another hour or so of sleep when she definitely heard the noise of the front door opening.

Springing from bed she grabbed the gun out of the bedside table and quietly opened her own door. Slipping into the hall she saw Henry’s door was closed and glanced over at Regina’s door – it too was closed.

She began to make her way down the stairs, listening for other sounds and looking for whoever opened the door. She made it all the way down, her senses on edge waiting for some sign of the intruder. The front door was open but Emma didn’t hear anything to give her an indication if there was someone in the house with them. She edged closer to the door and took a quick peek.

She sighed, lowering the gun, and walking outside. Halfway down the walkway Regina stood in her pajamas.

“Regina.”

There was no response from the other woman, so Emma got closer and touched her arm. Again she felt the magic activate and she flinched at the feeling it gave her.

Suddenly she was once again no longer in the confines of Storybrooke. Instead she was appeared to be in some sort of house. She spun around looking for any sign of where this place might be and where Regina might be. She could only assume this was like the time before where she perhaps reliving a memory of Regina’s, but unable to affect anything about it.

The house was made up of stone with simple wooden furnishings. There was a fireplace with burning coals but no fire made up in it. She walked around examining the place. There appeared to be only two rooms, this large one and a smaller one that was made up as a bedroom. Everything about the place seemed to be more like what she saw in the Enchanted Forest than anyplace else.

She went over to a window and peered out. Wherever she was at there was a layer of snow on the ground and she wondered why there wasn’t a fire in the hearth. Although the coals at least made it appear as if someone had been here not that long ago. She went over to the door and reached for the knob – her hand going right through it.

“Right,” she said. “No touching.”

Taking a breath she walked through the door. Once outside, she could see the house was like a small cottage. There were outbuildings around it, as if the place was some sort of farm, although clearly a small one. As she walked around she noticed two things – the cold didn’t affect her, and she wasn’t leaving any tracks in the snow.

She was about to turn back around and head back into the house when a side gate opened and Emma watched as an older man led a horse and cart into the front of the house. She was also surprised to see several others flying around the cart – fairies she realized, although they didn’t quite look like the fairies she had encountered. These looked like children.

She stepped closer as they all seemed to have a sense of urgency about them. The man had gone to the back end of the cart.

“Come on, wake up, I cannot carry you,” he said. Emma peered into the cart.

“Regina,” she said.

Regina was lying in a bed of straw in the back of the cart with a thin blanket thrown over her. She appeared to be asleep. The man tried shaking her but got no response.

“We need to get her into shelter,” he said to the fairies. “It’s too dangerous for her to be out in the open. You never know who is watching.”

“What can we do?” one of the fairies asked.

“We need to wake her. Wait here,” he said and he went into the house.

Emma could see that Regina’s face was pale and the blanket had a dusting of snow on it. It was currently snowing, so she wondered how long she had been in the back of the cart. The old man returned and he opened a vial and lifted Regina’s head up slightly. Waving it under her nose, she jerked awake. Smelling salts of some sort, Emma thought.

“There you go,” he said, capping the bottle and putting it in his pocket. “Now let’s get you inside where it’s warmer.”

Regina didn’t fight the man or object, but allowed herself to be helped from the cart. She was leaning heavily on the man and Emma questioned whether he would be able to get her inside. The blanket had been cast aside and Emma could see now that Regina was wearing the clothes she had been the day she disappeared from Storybrooke. She followed behind them as the old man managed to get her into the house and into the bedroom.

He left the room and she could hear him talking but she wasn’t paying attention as she was looking over Regina trying to determine if she was injured. There was nothing visible but she could tell Regina was weak by the way she had been barely able to walk without support from the old man.

Regina had closed her eyes almost immediately upon being laid down on the bed. Emma stepped back out of the room to see the man fixing up the fire in the fireplace. Once he hurried through that task, he came to look at Regina from the doorway before going back outside where he unhitched the cart from the horse and then led the horse to a stable. He placed the blanket that had been on Regina over the horse and made sure the animal had food and water available to it. Pushing the cart out of the way with more strength than Emma thought possible by the old man, she realized they were alone. The fairies must have left.

She followed him back inside where he once again went to the bedroom. Regina was awake – sort of – and trying to get out of bed.

“Henry,” she said, her voice slurring with the sleep she was trying to fight off. The old man guided her back down to the bed. “Emma.”

“I am sure Henry and Emma are fine,” the old man said. “Just get some rest.”

“Protect Henry. Protect him Emma,” Regina said.

The old man felt Regina’s face and forehead. “You have a fever,” he said. “Hold on, I have something that can help.”

She heard the man rustling around in the other room and he returned with a cup of something. He again held Regina’s head up to help her drink.

She took one sip of it and tried to move away. “I know it don’t taste the greatest,” the man said. “But it’s a little out of season for some mint to spruce it up. You will need to make due.”

He managed to get her to drink the rest of it and as soon as it was done, she again went back to sleep.

The man put a blanket over her and left the room once more. There was no place for Emma to sit so she continued to stand there looking at Regina, who now at least seemed to be sleeping peacefully. She wondered since Regina was still wearing her Storybrooke clothes if this was a time close to her disappearance.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, but she eventually got bored and wondered if something had to happen to knock her out of this memory or whatever it was. She left the room to see what the old man was doing. He was bustling around, looking like he was preparing something to eat maybe. She watched him and finally figured out he was making some sort of stew over the fire.

It was a long while before his food was done and Emma was ready to poke her own eyeballs out from boredom. She had checked on Regina several times but she was always sleeping. Emma was beginning to think this wasn’t a memory – at least not exactly. After all, if it was Regina’s memory, how would Regina know this man made stew if she was unconscious the entire time?

The man got out a small wooden bowl and ladled himself out some stew and placed it on the table. Then he went into the bedroom and got on his hands and knees and dragged a wooden box out from under the bed. He opened and took a large book from it and slid the box back. Taking the book, he returned to the table and his food. He opened the book and Emma moved to stand behind him.

Whatever the book was, it was in a language she didn’t recognize. He had turned to a spot that was about three-quarters of the way into the book and seemed to be reading a page very carefully. When he finished that page and turned it, Emma gasped as she saw the next page. It was a sketch of Regina’s face.

The man looked toward the bedroom. “So it comes to pass,” he said.

 

Emma felt a pull this time and there she was standing outside of the mansion once more with Regina.

“Regina,” Emma said, still recovering. “What are you doing outside?”

She didn’t respond and Emma guided her back inside. She locked the door back up. “Look, if you want to get up at night because you can’t sleep, that’s fine, but you can’t just be going outside like that. It’s not safe for you to go wandering outside by yourself. Do you understand?”

“Not safe,” Regina said.

“That’s right, not safe when you are alone,” Emma said again feeling like she was speaking to a child. “Why did you go out there?”

“Sunrise,” she said. “I wanted to see the sun rise.”

Emma breathed out. “Ok. It’s not quite time for that, but when it is, we will go out there and watch it together. Does that sound good?”

Regina nodded.

“Great,” Emma said, thinking it was doubtful she would have gotten back to sleep anyway. She would need to speak to her parents again, tell them what she saw and if any of it meant anything to them. She doubted it would. She thought about the fairies – maybe Tink or Blue would have some ideas.

Regina left the room, headed toward her office, so Emma went to get some coffee before the sun rise. She was turning the machine on when she thought about the sketch of Regina in that book. It was a very detailed sketch, almost like a picture. It reminded her of the sketches that Regina had been doing and she wondered if there was some sort of connection.

Again she was left with more questions than answers.

She was grateful though that Regina had merely wandered out of the house on her own. The alternative – the thought that whoever came out of that well was here – was what she had been thinking when she first heard the door open. She once again was worried about leaving Regina at the mansion unattended while she worked and Henry was at school. There was no other option she could think of though except bringing her to the station.

She managed to get two cup of coffees in her before going to get Regina so they could go outside for the promised sun rise. She was at her desk in the office, drawing once again. Emma got close and while the sketch wasn’t done she could see enough of it to know what Regina was making – it was a drawing of the old man.


	10. Chapter 10

“Emma, this isn’t really appropriate,” Archie said. “You are supposed to be building trust with Regina, not taking things that belong to her.”

“I told you, she is at the hospital, she’s sedated, I will have this sketchbook back before she wakes and she will never know,” Emma said holding out the book to him again.

Archie sighed and took it, opening it up and carefully going through the pages. Emma paced while he took his time. Her nerves had been getting to her more and more. After Regina had refused to go to the hospital, Emma went with Dr. Whale’s plan, although she wasn’t happy about it. But Whale was right, they had put off making Regina go to the hospital for too long. Whale gave Emma a powdered sedative to put in Regina’s food that night and once she was out, she was loaded in an ambulance and transported. Henry was with her parents at the hospital.

Emma had arranged to come to Archie’s even though it was late so she could talk to him about this sketchbook. Regina was in her office every day with the thing and Emma wanted Archie’s opinion of it.

“Have you looked through all of this?” Archie asked her.

“Of course,” Emma said.

“Emma, sit, please.”

She took a seat although she didn’t want to. It had been a few days since her last flash of memory or whatever it was with Regina. She had told her parents and Archie, had consulted Tink and Blue but no one seemed to have any answers for her. Tink was the only one who offered up anything and it wasn’t much. Tink remembered one of the Lost Boys had spoke of his home and how there were fairies there too, but they were also children. But beyond that she didn’t know anything.

“Now you seem a little distressed about this sketchbook, why?”

“Are you kidding me? Look at it.”

“I did. And again I will caution you about invading Regina’s privacy,” he said. “But these are only sketches, pictures of things in her mind that she is putting down on paper.”

“That’s it, that’s my point,” Emma said getting to her feet. “Look at what she’s drawing.” He had the book open on his lap and she pointed at a picture. “Like that, who the hell is that?”

“Well it’s quite an amazing drawing of Paul who works down at the used car lot, although this is clearly him as a guard in the Enchanted Forest.”

“Exactly. First of all, Regina wouldn’t buy a used car. Secondly, some guard, like she would notice some guard back in the Enchanted Forest. This is someone she probably never looked twice at in either place. The sketches are all like that. They are either people here in town who would have been completely insignificant to Regina or people who I don’t even know if they are in this town or not.”

“I fail to see why this is worth getting agitated about.”

“Where are the pictures of Henry, or Snow, or …”

“Or you?”

“My point is these are like random people. Outside of Dr. Whale she hasn’t done one of anyone that impacted her life. Why?”

“Because she isn’t ready yet for those kinds of drawings,” he said simply. “These sketches, they are a good thing. It’s Regina’s way of expressing things that are in her head, giving them an order that maybe her mind isn’t ready to give her. It’s why I got her this sketchbook, although it appears she is almost ready for another one.”

“I’d also like to know where this talent for drawing came from,” Emma said. “I’ve asked around and no one knew Regina had any skills at art. And these drawings look an awful lot like what I saw in that book that the old man had.”

“The old man, you said she sketched him,” Archie said.

“Here,” she said taking the book from him and find the picture before handing it back. There were now a couple of different sketches of the man and his home adorning a couple of pages in the book. “I tried asking her about it, again, but she either doesn’t know what I am talking about or she is refusing to talk about it.”

“Which do you think it is?”

“I don’t think she has a clue quite honestly. It’s like having to babysit a child,” Emma said, the frustration clear in her voice. “I took her to work with me the last couple of days because I didn’t know what else to do with her and do you know what she did all day? She sat in the interrogation room not saying a word either sketching in that damn thing or looking at some of Henry’s comics books – books I am not sure she can even read. We’re no closer to figuring out what happened to her and if someone did come out of that well, they are doing a damn good job of laying low.”

“You need a break,” Archie said simply. “How about tomorrow, I go to the mansion and stay with her for the day? It will give you a day away from having to worry about her being alone and it will give me a chance to administer a few tests, maybe find out if she is reading those comic books or merely looking at the pictures.”

“No offense Archie, but if Regina is in some sort of danger, you aren’t exactly the person I would have watching over her.”

“No offense taken,” Archie said. “But what are you going to do, just keep taking her to work with you? It’s one day Emma, let’s see how it goes.”

“Fine,” she said. “It might be a good idea to have you there when she wakes up anyway in case she realizes I had her sedated.”

…

Emma was at home by the time the ambulance came to drop off Regina. She left it to the EMTs to get her back upstairs.

“How did it go?” she asked her parents.

“She woke briefly but Whale got her sedated again before she fully registered where she was at,” Snow said.

“The good news is, he said she is healing fine,” her father added. “The cast can come off in another two weeks, of which I am sure Regina will be grateful.”

She had scratched and rubbed the area raw around it and even that cream Whale had given her didn’t seem to be helping much.

“We will probably have to sedate her again to get her to the hospital to get it off,” Emma said. “And her waking up without it will be hard to explain.”

“Dr. Whale asked if she had done any other drawings,” Snow asked.

Emma gave her a curious look.

“He has the one of him in a frame in his office,” Henry said. “I guess some of the staff wanted to know if she had perhaps drawn anymore people from before – from before Storybrooke. I wasn’t sure what to tell him.

“Um wow,” Emma said. “She has done more drawings – that sketchbook is nearly full, but I don’t know that she is going to be giving anymore of them out.”

“What did Archie say about the drawings?” Snow asked.

“He thinks it’s a good thing. He thinks this is her brain’s way of processing things and that perhaps the random people are because she’s not ready to think about people who were closer to her yet. Speaking of Archie, he is going to be here in the morning and spend the day here watching over Regina. He hopes to get her to talk more and give her a couple of cognitive tests.”

“Well it’s getting late and we should be getting home,” Charming said.

“Yeah, I’m going to get some sleep too while she remains sedated,” Emma said. The last couple of nights had been erratic again, and last night she had stayed in the room once more to sleep. Regina had stayed on the floor, but she seemed to sleep peacefully for the later part of the evening.

Once her parents left she and Henry got ready for bed. Emma checked on Regina once more before heading off to the guest bedroom to sleep.

 

Regina woke feeling groggy and confused as to why she was on the bed. It was dark in the room but she didn’t remember going to sleep. She got off the bed and went to the bathroom, still trying to wake up completely. When she returned to the bedroom she walked over to the window and looked outside.

The sky was overcast with only the barest glimmer of moonlight. Her mind homed in on another night sky in another time and place, one she experienced while lying on the grass in a field more than a mile from her home. She remembered the excitement and fear she felt in sneaking out of her room that night and making her way out to the field where she could lie and watch the clear sky full of stars. The only thing that could tear her eyes away from the beauty of that sky was the man who lay there beside her, smiling at her.

“I thought you asked me out here to look at the stars,” she commented.

“I did,” he said, the smile never leaving his face. “I can’t help it if I would rather look at you.”

She felt the blush on her cheeks and she reached out and touched his hand.

“Daniel,” she whispered.

“I love you,” he said to her.

The words made her heart feel like it was filling up with air and would burst from the sheer power of those three words.

“I love you too,” she said back to him, knowing it was true even though she had never said it to him before. She scooted closer to him and he took her in his arms and kissed her.

Regina was knocked from the memory of it – realizing it was indeed a memory, but that realization wasn’t what cut it off from her consciousness. No, it was the movement of a shadow out in the yard. She remained still, not daring to move, as the shadow moved again, away from the fence that closed in the back yard and more into the open.

She felt alone suddenly, defenseless, but she couldn’t bring herself to move from the spot even as the person in the yard stopped moving toward the house and stopped there near the apple tree and looked up at her. She could tell he could see her – at least the outline of her in the window – and she wanted to retreat from that gaze before he saw more than just her outline but she couldn’t seem to make her feet move.

Then she watched as he seemed to be waving to her, no not waving, but using his arm to beckon to her to come to him. She couldn’t make out his features as he was too far away, yet he was definitely trying to motion to her to come there.

“Daniel,” she said out loud. She had just been thinking of him, remembering him, could that be him down there, she wondered. Finally finding her ability to move she quickly left the room and hurried down the stairs to get to the back door in the kitchen that would lead to the back yard.

She got to the door, her hand on the doorknob as she peered out into the darkness. The man must have seen her there because he began to walk to the door. As he got closer a light suddenly turned on outside, illuminating his face for the first time.

It wasn’t Daniel.

When the light came on the man stopped briefly but now he hurried to the door as she backed away.

“Emma!” she screamed as she threw his weight against the door. It held, but she turned and fled and as she was exiting the kitchen she heard the door splinter open behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

Emma sat up in bed as she heard her name being called out, but she was disoriented for a moment, only until she heard the noise of glass breaking and a loud crash. She had her gun in hand, running from the room. She glanced back, seeing Regina’s door was open and as Henry’s door opened, she hissed at him to get back in and lock his door.

She was part way down the stairs when Regina came into her view and she almost gave a sigh of relief until a man grabbed Regina from behind, dragging her out of view. Emma ran down the rest of the stairs, gun held out in front of her.

“Let her go!” she said as the man had Regina in a chokehold, pulling her back toward the kitchen. The man paused, staring at Emma with hardened eyes, and in that moment she knew he wasn’t about to let Regina go.

She raised her gun higher to set her sights and looked for a shot.

“Let her go.”

The guy backed up again and Emma had to shift positions to keep him from disappearing from sight as he got Regina into the kitchen. She could see the door hanging open on one hinge behind the man and she figured that was his intended escape route.

The man was bigger than Regina and Emma had a few options at a shot, but she needed to make sure it was a clean shot that wouldn’t harm Regina, but at the same time injure this guy enough that he didn’t try anything. While his right forearm was pressed hard against Regina’s neck Emma couldn’t see the left hand which appeared to be behind Regina’s back. She had no way of knowing if he had a weapon back there which is what was causing her to wait before taking a shot.

The darkness of the room also made her pause. She couldn’t afford to make the wrong decision.

He kept moving slowly toward the door. Emma didn’t have any real fear that he might actually escape with Regina, but she didn’t want him making it outside where she had no way of knowing if anyone else was waiting.

The sound of her breathing was heavy in her ears as she moved forward.

“You aren’t going anywhere with her. Stop and we can talk about this,” she said.

The man said nothing, only continued to move toward the door.

It was too dark for her to make out his or Regina’s features well, but she knew from the way Regina had screamed her name that she was scared of this man. This must be the person who came out of the well, Emma conjectured. Where did he think he was going to take Regina, she wondered.

It didn’t really matter as she wasn’t about to let him take her. She needed to subdue him though and then she could question him about who he was, where he came from, and what he was doing here in Storybrooke. Perhaps this man could fill in the holes that Regina either didn’t remember or refused to talk about it.

It wasn’t going to be a perfect shot; she knew that even as she squared in on where to target. She was debating in her mind whether or not to take the shot.

She heard a siren in the distance, and so did he, causing him to cock his head to the side slightly. It was all she needed as she pulled the trigger.

Her aim was off a little more in the darkness than she thought, but still it hit his left arm. In pain he lightened his grip on Regina and Emma rushed forward, grabbing Regina and pulling her away from the man while sticking her gun in his face. Too late she realized she was way too close to him as he barreled into her – making her and her gun fall to the ground.

He was on top of her and she struggled to get away.

He wasn’t able to get a secure hold on her and she scrambled backward almost like a crab when the shots rang out – four loud bangs that pushed the man away from her. She got to her feet and saw Regina there pointing the gun at the man. Emma rushed over and turned on the light seeing blood pouring out of the man’s chest. He was breathing still with a look of disbelief as his eyes focused in on Regina.

Emma approached her carefully as she still had the gun pointed outward from her. She could see Regina’s hands were shaking. Emma gently touched her shoulder and then had to move quickly as Regina turned toward her with the gun.

“Let me have that,” Emma said grabbing it from her hands. She put the safety back on and went over to the man, kneeling beside him. “Who are you?”

He didn’t even look at her as he kept his eyes on Regina who was also looking at him. Emma knew the man didn’t have long – he was bleeding out rapidly and already his breaths were shallow.

“Who are you?” she asked again.

“This … isn’t … over Savior,” he said. Emma looked again at Regina, whom this man was clearly addressing. She stood there staring down at him. “You will … be … brought back. It calls to you. You can’t resist the call forever.”

He began to choke on his own blood and Regina turned and ran from the room. The man was dead by the time she heard loud banging on the front door. She got up to answer it and found her father standing there.

“Henry called, is every thing alright?” he asked.

She shook her head no. “There is a man dead in the kitchen. He tried to take Regina. She shot him with my gun.”

“Are you ok, are you hurt?”

“No,” she said. “And Regina’s physically fine, I think. This man, I think he is from wherever Regina was at while she was missing. He was going to take her back.”

“Was he alone?”

“I think so, but I don’t really know.”

“Ok. I will call the coroner, get him over here to deal with the body. We can look for any clues as to who this guy is and if he had company.”

 

Hours later Emma was sipping a cup of coffee and looking down at the spot where the man had died. She was tired and not anywhere closer to figuring out what was going on. Regina had locked herself away in her room, refusing to come out or speak with anyone. She was shaken up by what happened and had apparently chosen an avoidance technique to deal with it.

Emma had cleaned up the mess, having scrubbed and scrubbed the floor to get the blood out. She had told Henry what happened but had made him stay upstairs while her and father investigated and the coroner took the body away. Henry had also tried speaking with Regina to no avail. She was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed.

Archie had showed up a little while ago – Emma having forgotten already about him coming over. She had explained to him what happened and Regina’s reaction to it. He had knocked on Regina’s door but didn’t go in when Regina remained silent. He told Emma that the incident could make Regina regress even more but he was reluctant to force contact with her about it, which is why he didn’t enter the room.

She had a newfound level of frustration over this whole affair. There was nothing on the man to indicate who he was or where he came from – except for the clothes themselves and those Emma recognized as belonging to the guards who Emma had seen when she first saw those images from Regina’s mind.

What he had said before dying kept replaying in her mind. He had called Regina Savior. And that part about it calling to her was way too cryptic for her to even begin to make sense of. Regina was the only one who could and why she felt bad about what she planned to do next, she knew she needed answers. That man had come into the house where Henry was at, and Emma wasn’t going to risk that happening again. She had excused Henry from school for the day, but sent him away with his grandfather, at least for the time being. They were going to go out and get a door to replace the now useless one which had been boarded up for the time being.

She didn’t want him here as she spoke to Regina.

She didn’t want him knowing about what she about to do.

Finishing her coffee, she left the mug on the counter and went upstairs. She didn’t bother to knock on the door to Regina’s bedroom, merely entering to find Regina still sitting on the floor.

“Get up,” she said. When Regina didn’t move, she repeated it. “Regina, get up now,” she said, making her voice even more stern. This time Regina got to her feet. Emma could see the confusion in her eyes and she felt even worse about this.

“Now enough with this silent act. You are going to tell me exactly what the hell is going on here. I want to know every thing, where you have been, what happened to you and who that guy. Do you understand me?”

Regina remained silent and Emma advanced on her, grabbing her arm. “You listen to me,” Emma said. “I don’t care what trauma you have gone through. I know you can talk so you are going to start talking. That man could have been a danger to Henry and I’m not going to stand by while you try and get your head in order. I’m done with handling you with kid gloves. You are going to tell me what I want to know. Where were you?”

Still nothing.

“You were gone for months. Where were you?”

When she didn’t answer again, Emma shook her. “Where were you? Answer the damn question.”

“I … I don’t know.”

“Not good enough,” Emma said through clenched teeth. “That man, who was he?”

“I don’t know.”

Emma  applied more pressure to Regina’s arm. “Who was he? The clothes he was wearing, you’ve seen them before, haven’t you?”

Regina looked down at where Emma was gripping her arm, but still she nodded yes.

“Who was he?”

“I don’t know. He was at the place with the door.”

Emma knew which door she was referring to, but she needed more. “That door, what’s behind it?”

“I don’t …”

“Don’t say you don’t know,” Emma said raising her voice and causing Regina to flinch. “You know what’s behind it, don’t you? Answer me.”

“It’s bad.”

“What is?”

Regina shook her head no.

“You aren’t leaving this room until you tell me everything you know about this,” Emma said. “You asked me once if I was your master, well yes, you can consider me your master, now tell me what I want to know. Why did he call you Savior?”

Regina tried to pull away from her but Emma held strong.

“Tell me,” she insisted.

Regina started to cry. “I killed that man,” she said.

“Yes you did,” Emma said. “He’s hardly the first man you’ve killed so I don’t know why you are bothering to cry. They didn’t call you the Evil Queen for nothing.”

This time Regina did pull away from Emma and from the expression on Regina’s face Emma believed this was news to Regina. She really didn’t know who she was. Emma felt her resolve slipping as she saw the hurt on Regina’s face.

“Regina I can’t help you if you don’t give me something to go on. Do you even understand what would have happened if Henry had been down here when that man came in? Do you understand that our son could have been hurt?”

“Our son?”

Emma sighed. “Yes, our son. Henry is our son, mine and yours. I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe and I know you would too because you’ve already done it. Don’t you remember? You disappeared because you saved Henry from a curse. You saved all of us in this town. You sacrificed yourself so we could call be safe. Henry was upset afterward. But you know what, he was also proud of you – proud of you for putting others before yourself. You weren’t always that way, but I believe you’ve changed. Henry believes you have changed. You want to keep Henry safe don’t you?”

Regina nodded.

“Good. Then you have to tell me what you remember.”

“Pain. All I remember is pain.”

“What do you remember about the pain?” Emma asked even as she was sure she didn’t actually want to know the answer.  

“It didn’t stop,” Regina said. She closed her eyes and Emma wasn’t sure if she was thinking, remembering or trying to keep herself from remembering. She opened them just as suddenly and for a second Emma thought she saw a flicker of recognition in Regina’s eyes. “I don’t want to remember.”

“You don’t have a choice,” Emma said. “I can keep this up all day and all night if I have to. You have the answers, I know you do. I get it, you’re scared, but you heard what that guy said. To me it sounds like he won’t be the only one trying to get to you. Now unless you want me to hand you over to them next time I suggest you convince me why that would be a bad idea.”

She got right up in Regina’s face as she said it and she could tell the other woman feared her. It wasn’t how she wanted this to go, but she had to push Regina to get answers, even if it meant pushing her past her breaking point. Regina moved past her, trying to get away, but Emma grabbed her.

“No, you don’t get to run from this.”

Regina began to struggle and Emma wrapped her up in a bear hug. She felt the magic pulling her almost immediately.

 

_Emma appeared in what looked to be a dining chamber of some sort. Seated at one end was a man, probably in his mid-40s and at the other end was_ _Regina_ _. She was wearing a gown and drinking from a goblet listening to the man as he spoke. A half-eaten meal sat in front of her._

_“What I am proposing could be mutually beneficial, surely you see that,” he said._

_“I am not sure I do,”_ _Regina_ _said coyly. “Perhaps that is hard to see from where I am sitting. You did after all send your men to kidnap me.”_

_The man laughed, and stood up, taking a bottle from the table in front of him and walking over to her. He poured what Emma guessed was wine into_ _Regina_ _’s cup. “Surely a woman of such refined tastes as you have would be more satisfied being here in the luxury of my accommodations. Or would you like me to have my men drop you back off at that …” he laughed again. “I guess you could call it a farm. Trust me_ _Regina_ _my castle suits you more than some cottage with a barely standing stable.”_

_“Careful you don’t presume too much about me,” she said taking another sip of her wine. “Although I will concede that the bed here is more to my liking.”_

_“Excellent,” he said. “Again, I apologize for my men’s abruptness in bringing you here.”_

_“Yes your captain of the guard should be very careful about what lines he crosses with me,” she said._

_“I have no doubt that if he was dumb enough to try that you would give him a lesson worth remembering. My understanding is that you gave at least three of my guards one of those lessons already,” he said. “Normally I would not allow such a transgression to go unpunished, but I think we can make an exception in your case.”_

_The man turned and went back to his seat and Emma saw_ _Regina_ _slide a knife off the table and place it on her lap under a napkin. Whoever this man was_ _Regina_ _clearly didn’t trust him._

_There was no one else in the room so Emma had no proof that this was where_ _Regina_ _had been held at beyond what had been said so far, but she suspected it was. That brought to mind the question of how_ _Regina_ _went from having dinner with this person to being held in a dungeon._

_“So how is it exactly that you have come to believe I am this person who can help you?” she asked._

_“Now, now_ _Regina_ _, don’t play ignorant, it doesn’t suit you. Surely he showed you the book and told you of the prophecy.”_

_“He did and my reaction was to laugh at him. One thing you should know about me, I am no Savior. I actually know someone who is and believe me, she and I are nothing alike.”_

_“You don’t know how much it pleases me to hear that,” he said smiling widely. “After all, I am not looking for you to play the role of the Savior. That is what that old fool wanted from you. No, what he wanted to see you destroy, I want to see you bring to life.”_

_Regina wasn’t looking at him, keeping her eyes on her goblet which was now sitting on the table. She was running a finger along its base and Emma knew that_ _Regina_ _was playing a part right now, pretending to only feign interest while gathering information. She wondered how many times_ _Regina_ _had done this in her lifetime._

_“Where is it?” she asked finally._

_“It’s here in my castle. Down in the lower depths. Shall we take go take a look?”_

_Regina_ _yawned. “Perhaps tomorrow,” she said. “Tonight I am tired and wish to retire to my room.”_

_“Of course,” he said standing. She too stood up, and Emma saw her slip the knife up the sleeve of her gown. He escorted her out of the room where he told two guards to make sure she found her way to her room. The message was really not to let her out of their sight. Despite the niceties being exchanged_ _Regina_ _was clearly a prisoner here._

_They took her up to a room and once she was inside the door was locked behind her._ _Regina_ _quickly took the knife out and hid it under her pillow. She began to pace the room._

_“_ _Regina_ _,” a small voice said and the brunette turned toward the small window where a fairy flew in._

_“How is he?” she asked with a sense of urgency._

_“He lives, but he is badly hurt.”_

_Regina_ _exhaled with noticeable relief. “Any chance of you or your little friends getting me out of here?”_

_“I’m sorry, we can not. I was lucky to get here as it was,” the boy fairy said._

_“It’s here,”_ _Regina_ _said. “Down below us somewhere. I can feel it. I can feel its darkness.”_

_“If it is here then you destroy it,” he said. “You can fulfill the prophecy Savior._

_“Don’t call me that for the hundredth time,” she said through gritted teeth. “And what exactly am I supposed to destroy it with? I have no magic. What do you think that greasy car salesman downstairs is going to do to me when he finds out I have no magic and therefore can’t activate it?”_

_“Car salesman?”_

_“Nevermind. You and your little friends need to find someway to get me out of here. I didn’t ask for this,” she said. “All I want is to get home to my son.”_

Once more Emma was pulled back out and she was again in the bedroom at the mansion with Regina. The other woman was looking directly in her eyes.

“Did you see that? Did you experience what I just did?” Emma asked her.

Regina nodded.

“You had no magic there,” Emma said. “That’s how he was able to keep you prisoner. But what is this thing you were talking about? This thing the fairy wants you to destroy and that man wanted you to activate, what is it?”

“A cauldron. A black cauldron.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Has anyone actually seen the Black Cauldron movie?” Emma asked.

Her parents had come back to the mansion with Henry and she had told them what Regina had revealed. Regina was up in her room still shaken up. She had asked Emma if anything else was required of her – using the phrase master. Emma said no, and left the room knowing that was something she was going to have to deal with sooner rather than later. She still hated herself for doing it, but she had needed answers – or at least that is what she told herself.

“I have,” Snow said.

“Good, so what’s it about?”

They had already established that wherever the Black Cauldron took place, it wasn’t in the Enchanted Forest.

“You do realize that it is a movie,” Snow said.

“Yes, but Disney made a movie out of you and you are real.”

“They made a movie yes, and one which isn’t entirely accurate as I’m sure you know by now.”

“Ok, so they don’t have all the facts straight. I get it, but we need to start from somewhere.”

Snow shook her head a bit as if thinking this was a bad idea, but she told Emma what she remembered of the plot.

“Well if Gurgi destroyed it in the end with his sacrifice shouldn’t this be a moot point?” Emma asked.

“First of all, it’s a movie,” Snow reiterated. “And he didn’t destroy it, but apparently made it useless. The witches took it.”

“Alright, that makes more sense because this guy apparently wanted Regina to activate it. So it must still be useless.”

The prospect of a cauldron that could unleash an army of the dead was not something that she was looking forward to dealing with. Even though Regina claimed she was no Savior, Emma didn’t see where Regina would do such a thing – not now. During their time in Neverland Emma felt like she had gotten a better sense of who Regina was. There was still some lingering regret there that she hadn’t tried harder with Henry’s other mother when she had the chance.

“We don’t know that she didn’t activate it,” Charming said.

“If she did, why would someone be sending some guy to take her back?” Emma countered. “I don’t think she did it. There is clearly more to this.”

“She spoke to you about it at least, maybe you should talk to her again, see what else you can find out.”

She hadn’t told her parents what she had done in terms of telling Regina she was her master.

“She’s been a little traumatized I think. I mean she killed a man,” Emma said. “I think I should hold off on any major questioning, at least for now.”

“You are probably right,” Snow said. “There is no need to put too much pressure on her.”

“What are we going to do to protect her?” Henry asked.

“Hey, no one is going to take your mom back to that place, I promise,” Emma said. “They are going to have to go through me and that just isn’t going to happen.”

“Maybe since she spoke to you, she’s starting to get better,” he said.

“Yeah, maybe,” Emma said. She couldn’t make eye contact with him even as she said it. She was definitely going to need to speak to Regina soon and get her to understand that despite what she said, she was not her master.

“You know the Black Cauldron movie was based on some books,” Snow said. “Maybe those would provide a better explanation than a cartoon. I could ask Belle if they have them at the library.”

“That’s a good idea,” Emma said, hoping that was also Snow’s way of volunteering to read said books.

“Well let’s get this new door installed,” Charming said. They had brought over a new one, but since they had been talking they made no move to put it in.

“I’m going to go upstairs and check on Regina while you do that,” Snow said.

“If she’s asleep, just let her sleep, ok?” Emma said.

“I will.”

Snow walked up the stairs, her thoughts and emotions were in a whirlwind. She didn’t like seeing Regina the way she was now. It flew in the face of every image she had of the other woman – even the first image she had of her as a hero. After they had all worked together to get Henry back in Neverland, and then Regina’s sacrifice to save them from Pan’s curse, she had wondered that if given enough time if she and Regina could finally put the past in the past.

With Regina not even remembering that past, that wasn’t going to happen. Yet maybe since she did not remember it would allow Snow to have a new relationship with her. She knocked on the door but there was no response. Knowing that didn’t necessarily mean that Regina was asleep, Snow carefully opened the door and saw Regina in her now all-too familiar post sitting on the floor.

Her hair was growing back and no longer resembled the peach fuzz of when Snow first saw her huddled in that bathroom.

“Hi,” Snow said, entering. Regina looked up at her but didn’t say anything even as Snow took a seat beside her. “Are you ok?”

Nothing.

“You will get through this,” Snow said. “I know you will. You are tough, maybe the toughest person I know. Although it’s probably a tie between you and Emma.”

The mention of Emma got Regina’s attention, which didn’t escape Snow’s notice.

“She’s going to make sure you stay safe,” Snow said. “Emma I mean. She’s not going to let anything else bad happen to you if she can help it. She cares about you.”

Snow thought about Neverland and how at times it was almost like Emma gravitated toward Regina. She knew when Regina disappeared and they thought she was dead that Emma felt regret and while she said it had to do with Henry, Snow couldn’t help but wonder if it went deeper than that.

She shook the thought from her mind.

“Emma is my master,” Regina said.

“No, she isn’t. She’s told you that. You don’t have a master. You are your own person. You make your own decisions.”

“No,” Regina said. “She’s my master. She told me she was when she asked questions.”

“When? Was that today?”

Regina nodded.

“Listen to me, Emma is not your master. I don’t know why she would have said that, but it’s not true,” Snow said. “You don’t have a master.”

She wasn’t sure if Regina was perhaps just confused, but she remembered Emma had paused downstairs when they first expressed surprise that Regina had spoken to her and answered some questions.

They continued to sit there in silence, Snow unsure as to what to say and Regina, well, she had no idea what Regina was even thinking about.

“Where is Daniel?” Regina asked suddenly.

Snow looked at her, unsure as to why Regina was asking or what she should say.

“I remembered being with him. We were lying down and looking at the stars,” Regina continued. “He said he loved me and I loved him too. Where is he?”

“Daniel isn’t here,” Snow said. She thought about what Archie said about not lying to Regina because it would only confuse her. “He died. It was a long time ago. I’m sorry.”

It hit her at that moment. Had she ever really said she was sorry to Regina for Daniel’s death? It was his death that had driven Regina’s vendetta against Snow and her family. The loss of her love had made Regina do terrible things and now she wondered what this Regina would do with the knowledge now that Daniel was dead.

“I loved him,” Regina said again.

“I know you did,” Snow said putting an arm around her. “And he knew you loved him. He knew it.”

…

When Snow came downstairs the door was in place and Charming suggested they head home. She told him she wanted to speak to Emma first and then she pulled her aside into Regina’s home office.

“Did you tell Regina that you were her master?” she asked, praying the answer was no and that Regina was merely confused, but as soon as Emma averted her eyes she knew. “How could you do that? You know she is in a vulnerable state.”

“I know,” Emma said. “I didn’t mean to, but damn it, I needed answers.”

“Then you should have gotten them another way.”

“There is no other way. She’s not getting any better. Most days I’m lucky if I get any kind of response from her. I just thought if I could get something out of her she’d open up and tell me what the hell is going on here.”

“You have to explain to her that you are not her master,” Snow said. “You can’t have her believing that. You can’t take away her free will.”

“Look, I know it was wrong, but if I don’t know what is going on how can I help her? How do I keep her safe?”

“Not like this,” Snow said, sternly. “Your father and I are going home now. You need to fix this. Regina has done horrible things in her past, but she doesn’t deserve to be made a slave.”

Emma fell silent. She hadn’t really equated what had happened to Regina as slavery.

“I will explain to her that I’m not her master,” Emma said finally.

“Good. Then make sure you apologize to her,” Snow said.

She left Emma there and by the time she left the office her parents had already left. She told Henry to order them some pizza and she left the money there for him to pay for it while she went upstairs. When she got there, she found Regina was lying on the floor her eyes closed. She stood there looking down at her. “I hope you have good dreams,” she said quietly.

…

Emma turned over on the couch. She had decided to sleep downstairs, just in case. Her gun and phone were nearby and she wanted to be ready if anything happened. She had tried to speak to Regina before she went to bed – the other woman having woken up from a nap – but even as she tried to explain that she was not her master it didn’t seem as if Regina either believed her or understood. She had gone back into silent mode and Emma was too fearful to push her after what she had done earlier.

Now Emma was paying the price for her guilt as she could not find sleep.

After twenty more minutes of tossing and turning, she got up. She had double checked that the doors were locked before she went to bed but she checked again now before walking upstairs. She went to Regina’s room, not the guest room, and saw Regina too was awake.

The other woman was standing next to the window looking out into the darkness. She looked over at Emma and then back to the window. Emma took a seat on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I’m sorry about earlier when I told you that I was your master.”

She had apologized earlier but since she hadn’t gotten a response from Regina it had done nothing to make her feel less bad about the whole thing.

“It was wrong of me to do that to you,” Emma said. “I have no excuse for why I did it, atleast not one that matters. I just … you were gone for such a long time. I didn’t know that I would ever see you again. Now you’re back, but you are different and I know that you are different because of what happened to you. I get that it must have been bad and I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to think about what you must have gone through to make you the person you are now because if I do I will just feel worse because I couldn’t do anything to stop it. You sacrificed yourself for the people of this town. You took on a curse that you knew was going to kill you or something and you didn’t blink. You just did it. You may have done it to save Henry, but in doing so you saved all of us and in the end you had to do it alone. There was nothing anyone could do to help you. There was nothing I could do and I wanted to. I wanted to save you and I couldn’t.”

Regina didn’t respond and Emma stood up. “Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry again.”

“You can’t save everyone,” Regina said stopping Emma.

The way she said it was determined, and it sounded like the way Regina spoke before when she was mayor.

“I know I can’t save everyone,” Emma said. “But this one time, I would like to be able to save you.”

….

Weeks passed, then a month, and then six weeks and nothing had happened to threaten Regina. There had been no more flashbacks and she still rarely spoke, although she did seem to get more enjoyment out of spending time with Henry. She probably spoke more to him than to anyone else although it was mostly about comic books that she apparently could read.

There were other signs of improvement though as Regina had discovered she knew how to cook. It certainly allowed for more than pizza and takeout to be served.

The three of them had settled into a routine living there together.

Emma knew better than to upset it, but under Archie’s suggestion she had asked Regina if she wanted to go out to dinner with her and Henry – to go to Granny’s and get some food. Regina had immediately shook her head no. She had not been out of house unless you counted Emma once again drugging her to get her to go to the hospital to get the cast removed. Regina had woken at home without it on, but if she had a question about it, she didn’t ask.

Archie thought it might be good for Regina to get out of the house and see people. The drawing had stopped and Archie wondered if it was because Regina had not been around enough people to jog her memories.

One thing that had not improved in the six weeks was Regina’s nightmares. They were still coming regularly and Emma had essentially taken to spending the night in Regina’s bed. She found it easier than constantly making the trek from the guest room and whether it was helping or not, it did seem like Regina slept easier when she was in the room with her. Regina continued to sleep on the floor although sometimes she would get into bed with Emma, which Emma thought was strange the first couple of times it happened, but hadn’t thought much of it since.

When she told Archie that Regina had declined the invitation to go out to dinner, he suggested that she and Henry still go on their own. He thought that if they did this then it would help show Regina that there was this whole world outside the mansion and that Emma and Henry were a part of that world and she should be as well. Emma didn’t think highly of that idea, but after her mess up with the whole master thing she decided she should listen to Archie.

Explaining it to Regina was like seeing a kid learn that Santa Claus didn’t exist. While she didn’t say anything, her facial expressions looked as if she was hurt by it and Emma almost said forget it, but she didn’t.

Henry and her left around 5 p.m. after making sure Regina locked the door behind them. Since the incident with the man Emma had taken a few precautions including teaching Regina about locks, drilling her on a plan on what to do if anyone tried to break in and showing her a few self-defense techniques. She had figured out early on that there was no way to have someone watch Regina 24-7, even after the incident. For the first week and half she had taken Regina to work with her, but that wasn’t really something they could do long term. The only solution she could think of was to give Regina some tools to keep herself save. That included getting her a phone and showing her how to use it.

It became apparent as soon as they arrived at Granny’s that neither she nor Henry felt comfortable with being there without Regina. They said little to each other throughout their meal and both hurried through eating. Still it took them 40 minutes before they were getting in the car and leaving.

“Shit!” Emma swore as she pulled into the driveway. The front door was open. She parked the car, telling Henry to stay put and call his grandfather. Pulling out her gun she approached the house in a hurry. She stopped just outside the door. “Regina! Regina if you are in there say something.”

No answer.

She entered the house, keeping her eyes open and her ears alert to any sounds. She heard nothing and began making her way from room to room. Her heart beating and her own breaths were the only things she could hear. She had almost finished going through the downstairs when she heard the sirens coming. She finished the downstairs by the time her father entered, gun drawn, calling her name.

Together they searched the rest of the house, but there was no sign of Regina.


	13. Chapter 13

Emma held Regina’s cell phone in her hand. She had called it and heard it ringing – finding it in the home office. There was no sign that anyone had broken into the house and no sign of struggle.

She was kicking herself for leaving Regina like she did.

Charming came jogging into the house, breathing heavy as he had run down the street. “Neighbor down the street saw Regina,” he said. “Six houses down, said Regina was just walking down the sidewalk not long after 5. Said she was alone.”

“What direction?” Emma asked.

He pointed to the right.

“Alright, I will go that way in the car and look for her. You stay here with Henry and let the other deputies know to be on the look out for her please. Contact me if you hear anything.”

After Charming nodded yes, Emma was rushing from the door. She drove down the street slowly, trying to look for any sign of Regina. She was trying to do a calculation in her head about how far Regina could have gotten on foot in the time she had been gone.

The problem was she had no way of knowing if Regina had turned down any streets either.

She ended up driving up and down streets for nearly an hour when her phone rang.

“Did someone find her?” she said upon answering the call from her father.

“Yeah, Davidson spotted her while he was out on patrol. He phoned me, unsure what to do. I told him not to stop her because I didn’t want him scaring her. He’s tailing her though. She is alone and appears to be unharmed.”

“Where are they?”

“That’s the thing,” her father said. “She seems to be headed in the direction of the forest in the vicinity of the well.”

“Where she disappeared?”

“Yes. She hasn’t made it that far yet.” He gave her the specifics of where she was and she told him to call back Patrolman Davidson and tell him to keep tailing her until Emma got there and then he could go.

It didn’t take Emma long to get there and she waved off Davidson as she passed his cruiser. Regina was up ahead of her by less than a mile and Emma slowed and passed her, pulling off the side of the road and parking. She got out of the car and approached her.

“Regina, what are you doing out here? Why did you leave the house?”

Regina stopped as Emma neared her, but she didn’t say anything. Emma could tell she had startled her. She reached out and touched her forearm. “Are you ok?”

She nodded yes.

“Well, why did you leave the house?”

“Remembered.”

“Ok, what did you remember?”

“I don’t know. There is a place here, I remember being there. There was this light. It blinded me. And there was pain. I need to get there.”

Emma wasn’t sure if she was talking about the well or not. She remembered how the purple light had shot up into the sky the day Regina had disappeared there.

“Come on,” Emma said. “I think I know where you are talking about.”

She led Regina back to her car and while she was hesitant she got in as Emma held the door for her. They drove up the road and Emma parked the cruiser once more. Again she held open the door for Regina and she noticed as Regina stood, she kept her eyes on the woods in front of them.

Regina began to walk into them and Emma followed close behind. She didn’t have to tell Regina which way to go – it was if she knew and soon they were standing where the well once stood. Regina walked up to the barrier that surrounded the hole – her eyes never leaving it.

“Do you remember being here?” Emma asked.

“There was a well.”

“That’s right,” Emma said, coming to stand next to her. She almost reached out to touch her, wondering if it would trigger another memory, but she stopped herself. She needed to know what Regina remembered of that day. “What else do you remember?”

Regina closed her eyes. “Magic,” she said. “There was so much magic here. It was dangerous.”

“Yes it was,” Emma said. “It was a curse and it was coming toward the town.”

Opening her eyes, Regina moved, walking around the hole now, still studying it.

“You saved us,” Emma said when Regina remained quiet. “You saved all of us from this curse. It was coming toward us and there was nothing anyone could do, except you. You knew it was going to take you away, yet you did it anyway. You wanted to make sure Henry was safe.”

“Not just Henry,” Regina said. “You too?”

Emma smiled, not sure Regina of old would have considered that, yet she had been selfless in her decision to stop the curse. While Henry was the main reason, Emma somehow figured even without Henry, Regina would have done it. “Yeah, me too and everyone else in this town. But you disappeared and you were gone for a long time before you came back here. You were in that other place, the place with the cauldron.”

Emma wasn’t sure if she imagined seeing Regina shiver at the mention of the cauldron. They had not found out anything useful about where Regina had been. Belle had read all the books by Lloyd Alexander which the movie Black Cauldron was based on. From Belle’s description, the movie was loosely based on it. Still, Emma had watched it at the station – not wanting to watch it at home in case it disturbed Regina.

The cauldron was a powerful magical item, but even Gold was unable to lend any knowledge to the issue. He had conjectured that while Regina had survived the curse, in absorbing it, she had burnt out her own magic which is why she had none in that other place.

Gold had offered to come over and examine Regina, determine if her magic was indeed gone, but Emma had said no for now. Regina was pretty much skittish around anyone who wasn’t her, Henry and maybe Archie and her parents. It was why Archie had wanted her to get out of the house and begin to be around people again.

Maybe it was time for Gold to come over, Emma thought as she continued to watch Regina who was standing still and still staring at the hole.

“Regina, why did you want to come out here? Was it just because you remembered this place?”

She locked eyes with Emma. “I can still feel it.”

“Feel what?”

“The cauldron. He was right. That man was right. It calls to me. And I have to go back.”

Emma rushed to her side just as it seemed like Regina was going to step over the barrier.

“No,” Emma said, grabbing her arm. “No. You don’t have to go back. This place, this isn’t … you can’t, do you understand me. You can’t go back. Your life is here Regina. Your son is here. Come on, let’s get you home.”

Regina didn’t move.

“Regina. Let’s go.”

Regina pulled away from her. “You said you weren’t my master.”

“I’m not,” Emma said. “No one is your master.”

“Then I am free to go where I wish?”

“Listen to me,” Emma said, taking a step toward her. “You aren’t going into that hole, that’s for damn sure. Do you even know what would happen if you did? You could die from the fall.”

“No. The magic would take me back.”

She said it with a certainty that was unnerving to Emma.

“Why would you even want to go back there? You were hurt. Someone hurt you while you were there. You escaped and you made it back here, you made it back home. This is where you belong.”

Regina shook her head no. “There was something I was supposed to do.”

“I don’t care,” Emma said. “You aren’t …”

Regina made a move toward the hole, but Emma was faster, tackling her to the ground. She was on top of the other woman who was struggling to get free.

“Stop it,” Emma said. She couldn’t get a grip on Regina to make her stop, but saying it wasn’t helping matters either. “Regina!”

She managed to get Regina’s wrists pinned to the ground and Regina continue to try and buck Emma off of her, but it was a losing battle and she finally stopped. Emma waited a moment to make sure she was done for good and then she let go and rolled off of her, lying there on the ground next to her. Both women laid there catching their breath.

“You have to promise me you won’t try something like this again,” Emma said. “You can’t leave, not like this.”

Regina turned and looked at her. “A part of me is still back there. I lost it.” She paused. “I want it back.”

Emma was confused and was about to ask what Regina meant by that when she saw the tear fall from Regina’s eye. More tears followed and Regina turned from her, sitting up and burying her head in her hands. Emma got to her knees. Regina’s back was to her and this time when Emma reached out, she didn’t stop, instead she wrapped her arms around her. “It’s ok,” she said softly. “I got you. It’s ok. It’s all going to be ok.”

She felt Regina sink back into her body, and she held her as she continued to cry.

…..

 

Emma sat on the couch, rubbing her temples to stave off the headache that had been steadily forming. She had gotten Regina back to the house, and once again she had retreated to her room with nothing else to say.

Her parents were discussing how best to handle the situation because they now had the added worry that if they weren’t watching her at all times Regina would try and return to the well. But like their problem from before, there was no real way to watch her all the time.

Emma wished this would all end. Her life was simpler before when Regina was gone, or even when Regina was actually Regina. This new Regina was as far from the old one as possible and Emma no longer knew what to do.

“I hate to say this, but maybe she needs to be locked up,” Emma said finally. “Not like in jail, but at the hospital in the secure ward.”

“I don’t think that is the answer,” Snow said.

“Then what is?” Emma said standing up. “Someone please tell me what I’m supposed to do with her because I sure as hell don’t know. I can’t watch her 24-7. I can’t. She needs help that I can’t give her. I don’t even know why this is my responsibility.”

“Emma,” Snow said in her most calming voice. “I know this isn’t easy.”

“Really? And how would you know that? You aren’t the one here day after day, having to see this shadow of a woman mope around this house, barely saying a word. She doesn’t even acknowledge that Henry is her kid. She knows because we told her, but it means nothing to her. Nothing means anything to her. How long am I supposed to stay here and be her babysitter? I get it; I wasn’t able to save her. The Savior failed as saving the Evil Queen. So what is this some sort of punishment?”

“You don’t have to stay.”

Emma turned and saw Henry standing in the doorway. Until then she hadn’t realized how loud she had been speaking.

“Henry, I …”

“No,” he said. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. She’s my family. She’s my responsibility. I’m her son. She doesn’t have anyone else.”

“That’s not true,” Snow said. “She has all of us. Even Emma. She didn’t mean what she said, she’s just frustrated. She wouldn’t be getting upset if she didn’t care.”

“I’m sorry Henry,” Emma said coming up to him. “I’m just … I wish Regina was ok or that I knew what to do to make her ok.”

“If you want to take a couple of days, go back to your place and rest up, I will stay here with her,” Snow offered.

“No,” Emma said. “Henry and I got this.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I needed that moment I guess to have a little mini-breakdown, but I’m good.”

“You know your mother and I are here and are willing to help out in any way,” Charming said. “You don’t have to feel like everything is on your shoulders.”

“I know. And maybe I will take you up on the offer to stay here, just for a few hours during the week, but not at night. She sleeps better when I’m next to her.”

As soon as the words were out, she realized how that sounded. “I mean when I’m nearby. She sleeps better I think.”

Both of her parents gave her a strange look but neither commented further to which she was thankful for. The last thing she needed was for her parents to know she had been sharing a bed with Regina. It was perfectly innocent so it wasn’t as if it mattered, she thought.

Her parents stuck around for a little longer to make sure all was well and by the time they left it was late and Emma was ready for bed. She went upstairs and knocked on Henry’s door first. He told her to come in, and she wondered if he knew it was her or if he thought it was Regina.

“Are we ok?” she asked him. He had already changed for bed and was sitting up in it with a book at his side.

He shrugged. “She doesn’t need to be locked up. She’s been getting better.”

“I know,” she said.

“Then why did you say it?”

She didn’t say anything at first, but walked over and took a seat on the edge of the bed.   
”What happened out there at the well, it scared me,” she said. “It scared me more than when Pan’s curse was coming toward us. All I could think was that she was going to go away again and again there was nothing I could do to stop it. I know you wished that I could have done something back then, but I couldn’t. This time I could, but what if it isn’t enough? What if she turns around and leaves again and tries to throw herself into that hole? I don’t know what would happen if she did that. Not just to her, but to us, you and I. I don’t want you to have to see me not save your mom yet again. But it’s more than that. I really don’t want anything to happen to Regina. When we were in Neverland looking for you, she and I actually worked together. Yeah there was our normal back and forth, but we were united for a common goal and I really believe if we had all come back here from that and Pan’s curse was never cast that she and I would have eventually become friends as crazy as that may seem.”

“You are sort of friends now.”

She chuckled, “We are sort of. I would like it better if she remembered who I was before we decide we are actually friends.”

She looked over at the book he was reading. “Lloyd Alexander?”

“I thought I should read them in case you know there is something here.”

“That’s a good idea,” Emma said.

“I want to be able to help her.”  
”You are helping her,” she said. “You are connecting with her, and that is helping. You’re right she is getting better. I think today just made me lose sight of that for a moment. So are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Ok, well don’t stay up late reading,” she said. She stood up and bent over and kissed him on the forehead before leaving. She went to Regina’s door but stopped while she was in the process of reaching for the doorknob. Instead she turned around and went to the guest room to sleep.

Emma was deeply sleeping – deep enough that she didn’t hear her door open and close – but she began to wake when she felt the bed shift. She barely got her eyes open to see a shadowy form getting in under the covers. Her mind wasn’t awake enough to register much, but when the form stopped moving presumably because it had gotten into a spot it wanted, Emma scooted a little closer to it.

“Are you ok?” she mumbled in a sleep-laden voice.

“Nightmare,” Regina said.

“It’s ok,” she said. “Just a dream. Dreams can’t hurt you.”

Now it was Regina scooting closer to Emma so they were actually touching. Emma put an arm around her and fell back to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Emma didn’t feel like she had much of a choice the next day when she took Regina to work with her. She wasn’t comfortable leaving Regina at home. She had spoken to her mother that morning and Snow agreed to pick Regina up after school and take her home and stay with her until Henry got home. Henry was working on a group project for a homework assignment so it would be a couple of hours before he got there.

Once they reached the station, Emma put Regina into one of the interrogation rooms and told her to come get her if she needed anything. Regina had brought along her sketchbooks –Archie having gotten her two more — and some comic books to read.

Emma didn’t have to worry about Regina leaving the station as she couldn’t leave the interrogation room and get to the front door without passing Emma’s office – and other personnel including their secretary.

When she had woken up that morning, Regina was lying against her. She was sleeping peacefully and for a few seconds that made Emma happy. Then everything else about their situation came creeping into her mind.

Her concerns that Regina was never going to fully recover, her fear that Regina would disappear again and her own confusion over why she continued to share a bed with her and why it felt comfortable to both of them – all these thoughts invaded her mind.

It was enough to make her get up before her alarm went off. Of course the moment she moved, Regina woke.

“Good morning,” Emma said. “Did you sleep ok?”

“I didn’t have any more nightmares,” Regina answered.

“Good, that’s good,” Emma said. “What were you dreaming about, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I didn’t like how it made me feel.”

“Yeah, nightmares are like that. Well, I have to get ready to go to work, and I thought maybe you should go with me. Is that ok?”

Emma wasn’t really sure what she would do if Regina said no so she was relieved when Regina nodded yes.

“I’ll get dressed and make breakfast,” Regina said. She got out of bed and left the room without another word. Emma sat back down on the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes. They could have lost her yesterday, she thought. If her deputy hadn’t have spotted Regina, then Regina could have made it to the well and disappeared once more. They could have lost her and it would have been Emma’s fault for leaving her alone.

She had the same thought as she closed the door to the interrogation room and went to her office. She had been careless and stupid. It wasn’t only with what happened the day before. No, she had done nothing to figure out where Regina was when she first disappeared. She had accepted what others thought, which was that she was dead. She never even tried to look into an alternative. After all, if she was alive, there was a belief that she would make it back on her own.

Like her or hate her, there was no one in this town who had perceived Regina as being weak.

Emma wouldn’t call her weak now, but she was certainly vulnerable and as long as she was, she was going to need support and protection. It was time she started doing a better job at it, Emma thought.

She handled paperwork and had an employee meeting during the morning. At lunchtime, she had asked her father to get her and Regina some food from Granny’s to eat. When he returned with to go bags in hand, she took the food from him and went into the interrogation room. Regina was huddled over her sketchbook, working on something so intently she didn’t even acknowledge Emma at first. It wasn’t until Emma put the bags down on the table that Regina looked up at her.

“It’s lunch time,” Emma said, pushing her bag over to her. Regina took the bag and pulled out her sandwich and fries. Emma noticed that morning that Regina hadn’t eaten much, but now she at least seemed eager to get food in her stomach.

“What are you working on?” Emma asked once they had sat and ate to the point where half of Regina’s sandwich was gone. That and some fries were usually about her limit. It’s not that Emma thought Regina was full – with as little as she ate on a daily basis that was nearly impossible – but she never seemed to want to eat much.

Regina turned the sketchbook over to her and went back to concentrating on her fries. Emma put her own sandwich down as she accepted the book and she immediately thought this is new. The two pages she was looking at were covered in panes that Regina had drawn and each pane had a picture within it. It was like looking at a comic book without any writing in it. But Emma also recognized the place depicted in the drawing – it was the little farm house that she had seen in Regina’s memory, the one the old man had lived in.

The man was drawn there as well looking at that book at his table. In the next pane he looked up from it and in the next Regina appeared in a doorway. From the sequential drawings Emma would say this was after Regina woke up there as she was wearing the same clothes and she had a look of confusion and wariness on her face. The man approached her and she took a step back but then it seemed he convinced her to sit down at the table and then he put a bowl of some sort of soup in front of her. The last pane that was drawn was of Regina reaching for the book.

“Is this … do you remember this happening?” Emma asked. “Is that why you drew it, because you remember?”

“A little,” she said. “He was nice to me.”

“Do you remember his name?”

“Taren. His name was Taren.”

Emma did a mental check of what she knew of Taren from the movie and what she had been told about him in the books – and she didn’t recall at any time that he was an old man. She wondered now how much time had passed between the events of the book and movie and Regina ending up there.

“He was nice to me,” she repeated. “And I failed him.”

“This Taren, he wanted you to destroy the cauldron?”

“I don’t … I don’t know.”

Emma studied her. Since Regina had been back Emma’s lie detector had not gone off but now it was practically buzzing at her. Regina was lying. But why? Just from what Emma had seen of Regina’s memories it was clear there was one faction wanting her to destroy the cauldron and another one wanting it recharged. So why would she choose now of all times to lie to her.

“You know you can talk to me if you want,” Emma said. “I really do want to help you, I hope you know that.”

Per usual Regina didn’t respond. Silence was her default mode and one of the reasons Emma got to frustrated. Even before this lie, Emma had the feeling that Regina maybe remembered more than she had so far let on. There was no way to tell however. When Regina went into silent mode it was clear that she wasn’t coming out of it until she chose to.

Emma went back to eating her sandwich and Regina ate a few fries before she was done with what she wanted to eat. Emma cleaned up afterward and then left Regina alone once again.

….

Regina knew the moment she looked at that hole in the ground that it would take her back to the place where the cauldron was. She knew she had to get back.

When Emma left the room, she sat there for a while thinking about how to get back there when it seemed Emma had brought her to the station to keep an eye on her. Even after all the time spent in this place, this Storybrooke, she was still unclear about many things. She understood that people here knew her, but at the same time she wasn’t sure they did know her because they acted hesitant around her like they expected something from her. She didn’t know what was expected of her.

She really liked Henry. He too had looked at her with expectation, but the more time she spent with the boy who was apparently her son – and Emma’s which didn’t make sense to her – the more he started to look at her like he was simply happy she was there. He no longer looked sad. She got the feeling he was sad because she wasn’t fulfilling whatever the expectation was.

With as much time as she had been around Emma, the other woman was still a mystery to her. Emma, perhaps more than anyone else, seemed to expect something from her that she wasn’t fulfilling but instead of being sad like Henry she appeared to get angry. Regina didn’t like this, but she didn’t know what to do to stop it. She didn’t know what these people wanted from her.

But back there, back in the place with cauldron she knew what was expected of her. She also knew she hadn’t done it. They had called her Savior and she proved she was anything but.

The cauldron still existed and what was worse, it now had magic once again.

That is why she needed to go back. She needed to go back and correct her failure.

Until she did, she would never be whole. She didn’t know why she felt that way, but something about it seemed right to her.

Taren had been patient with her. He had been kind and he had given her a choice. Taren was her friend and even without the cauldron, she wanted to go back and see him – speak to him. She wanted to say she was sorry for not living up to his expectation. He had waited so long for her to arrive, he had said to her.

She looked at the pages in her sketchbook, and thought about those first days.

 

 _Regina_ _opened her eyes and saw the thatched ceiling above her. Something in her mind told her that this was both right and wrong. It was right because she had seen ceilings like this before. It was a pretty common design in the_ _Enchanted_ _Forest_ _. That is when she realized why it was wrong – there was nothing like this in Storybrooke._

_She remembered then that she had thrown herself into the well after absorbing Pan’s curse._

_Throwing the blankets aside, she got up on her legs which were shaky and not wanting to support her without protest. The room she was in was fairly small – a simple bedroom. She went up to the open doorway and saw she was inside a house and there was a man – an older man with white hair sitting at a table reading a book. He noticed her and got up quickly and approached her. She took a step back, not sure what he was intending, but he stopped when he saw her do it._

_“I mean you no harm_ _Regina_ _,” he said. “You’ve been here in my home for the last couple of days recovering. Please come, sit, and I will get you something to eat.”_

_“Who are you?”_

_“Oh, forgive my manners, my name is Taren.”_

_“Where is this place?”_

_“This Caer Dallben in the_ _land_ _of_ _Prydain_ _.”_

_Prydain, the name meant nothing to her. It was not part of the_ _Enchanted_ _Forest_ _– at least no part she knew._

_“How did I get here?” she asked._

_“The particulars of how you got here to Prydain, I do not know. I found you out in the forest and brought you here so that you may rest. Please, you must be hungry.”_

_He indicated that she should sit at the table, and while she had no desire to sit and chat with this man, she needed more information in order to figure out where she was exactly and how to get home. She took the offered seat and Taren moved around the room getting a bowl and spoon. He ladled some soup into a bowl and sat it before her. She looked at the brown mass – a stew of some sort but she didn’t make a move to eat anything._

_“How did you know my name?” she asked. Her head hurt and it took until that moment to realize he had referred to her as_ _Regina_ _._

_He smiled at her. “Why don’t you eat first and then we can talk? I imagine we have much to discuss.”_

_“I’m not interested in your food,” she said pushing the bowl away from her and standing, but as she got to her feet she wavered. He was immediately at her side, guiding her back down._

_“You still need rest, and you need food if you are hoping to recover quickly,” he said. He went to the other side of the table and sat down watching her. If she really had been here a couple of days, she didn’t remember any of it. She felt weak and she hated feeling that way._

_She reached for the bowl and slid it back in front of her, pausing before taking a spoonful of the stew. Her first thought was that it could use some spices but otherwise it wasn’t bad. She ate in silence, although as she did, she observed the man and took in all she could of her surroundings in case she needed to make a quick exit. When she looked at Taren again he had a small smile on his face as if he knew what she was doing._

_Once she was finished, he took away the bowl, cleaned and put it away before sitting down once more, his hand resting on the book in front of him. It was a large tome but she hadn’t seen anything on its cover to show her what book it was._

_“Your coming here was foretold,” he said. “That is the answer to how I knew your name. It was no coincidence that I found you in the forest. I was expecting you, although I admit I didn’t know where exactly in the forest you would be so I’m afraid you were out there for some time before I came across you.”_

_“What do you mean it was foretold, foretold by who?”_

_He opened up the book, moved the pages until he found the one he was looking for and then he pushed toward her and she reached out for it and brought it closer to her. Her brow immediately tightened as she looked down at a sketch that depicted her perfectly._

_“What is this?” she asked._

_“I’ve never gotten around to giving it a name. It was patterned off another, The Book of Three. Have you ever heard of it?”_

_She shook her head no as she turned her attention to what written on the page._

_“You have got to be kidding me?” she said looking up. “The Savior?”_

_“Yes,” he said. “You have the potential to be the Savior.”_

_She quickly read the rest of what was written there about her._

_“Do you have any idea who I am, beyond what is written here?” she asked._

_“Perhaps a better question would be, do you have any idea who you are_ _Regina_ _?”_

 

Regina thought about how appropriate that question was to her current situation. The truth was, she didn’t know who she was or what her place was in this world. But in that other world she had a purpose – one she hadn’t finished.

She had to go back.


	15. Chapter 15

Regina regarded Snow – not for the first time – when the woman picked her up from the station. Beyond Henry and Emma, this woman and Archie were the people she had been around the most since arriving here. She remembered the way Snow had first approached her with a gentleness and concern. Even now, Snow seemed to go out of her way to make sure she was ok and she had to wonder what their relationship had been like before this.

She stared out the window of the car as Snow drove her home. She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to riding in one of these vehicles but at least the terror she felt when she had first had to get in one had faded. This town was so unlike Prydain she thought. The small farm house she had stayed at with Taren was nothing like these houses. Her own house was huge compared to Taren’s yet when she remembered being there it didn’t feel out of place for her to be in a place like that. The Enchanted Forest – she was from there or so she thought she remembered yet it was not Prydain nor was it Storybrooke. Each place was different, and she had this feeling that she had been different in each realm.

They arrived at her house and Snow accompanied her inside. She understood that Snow was there to watch her and she had been thinking about it a lot that day. She had made Emma angry yesterday when she had tried to leave and now Emma didn’t want her going anywhere that she wasn’t being watched. Regina had to leave though so now she was stuck with figuring out how to make that happen.

Without saying anything – although Snow told her again that Henry would be home later – Regina retreated to the office space where she preferred to do her drawings. She had been working on the one the whole time she was at the sheriff’s office. She had been able to finish one more pane and start another. As she had begun to remember more pieces of her time there she had decided to put it in some sort of format to keep it all straight. Henry’s comic books had given her the perfect idea of how to do that.

As she sat down to continue her drawing, she thought about that little farm house once more.

_“You have done this before,” Taren commented as_ _Regina_ _brushed down his horse. He had seemed skeptical when she had told him that she could handle the chore. It had now been a couple of rather boring weeks here at his home and_ _Regina_ _was looking for any task to keep her mind occupied._

_She had spent the first few days after she had woken lying in bed as she had been unable to stay awake or stay upright for long periods of time. But now she was beginning to feel a little more like herself. Well except for one thing – something she hadn’t dared to mention to Taren after reading what that book had said about her._

_“I’ve always enjoyed riding horses,”_ _Regina_ _said to him, although she kept her concentration on her task. He was busy shoveling up the horse’s waste products and once the stall was clear she would help him lay down some more straw before letting the horse back into the stall. She had asked him what the horse’s name was and he had laughed and told her he had no idea as he didn’t speak horse. Not for the first time since waking up she thought about what an odd man he seemed to be._

_For one, he was not in the least bit intimidated by her. Not that she had really tried hard to intimidate him, but he appeared to have this calmness about him and he wasn’t easily unnerved._

_The day before he had taken her out to the woods where he had found her but she had found nothing there to indicate how she ended up there. All she could conjecture was that the magical discharge from Pan’s curse had pushed her into this world._

_Getting back home was not going to be easy since she didn’t have a clear idea of where she was._

_The book, which Taren kept a close eye on, was mostly a history book so she had been able to learn a lot about this world from reading it and Taren had added his own knowledge about things in telling her some additional information. Part of her frustration had been that Taren guarded the book so closely that he wouldn’t simply let her read it. No, after discovering she had been written about in it, he hadn’t really discussed it with her, saying that in order to understand why she was in it, she had needed to start from the beginning. That meant starting at page one and after she completed a chapter that was it – Taren would take the book away from her – because then he wanted to discuss what she had read. In some ways it felt like being with one of her tutors growing up._

_He kept urging her to be patient, which was the last thing she wanted to be. She needed to get home. She needed to get back to Henry._

_She had lost her temper with Taren that morning when again told her she needed to be patient in reading the book. He had sat there not saying a word as she had ranted and then when she was done he gave her this look that made her think that he too knew the depths of pain and loss. She had been unable to hold onto her anger after that and then they ended up outside here engaging in chores._

_Although she was a guest, he expected her to be an equal in the chores and even though it was not a big place there was an endless amount of work that needed done. She had scolded him when she first saw the condition of the horse’s stall. He may be elderly, she said, but that was no excuse for not keeping a stall clean. Dirty stalls led to horses getting sick and so they had set out to clean out the tiny stable. They weren’t very far into the task although his small cart was almost filled with the dirty straw and manure but there was still more in the stall itself and she wondered when the last time it was cleaned out completely._

_She was about to put a blanket on the horse when she heard hoofbeats._

_“In the stall quickly,” Taren ordered._

_“What?”_

_“Hide,” he said with a sense of urgency that made her not question it. Instead she did as she was told, hunching down inside. She heard multiple horses – she was unsure of the exact number – get closer. Based on the noise, she guessed they had just entered the main part of the yard and Taren must have moved away from the stall._

_“Greetings,” she heard an authoritative voice say. “We have traveled far and we were hoping you might be willing to let me and my men here bed down for the night.”_

_“You do look like you have traveled far,” Taren said. “Where have you come from my friends?”_

_“To the north,” the man said. Right away_ _Regina_ _got a bad feeling about this. The man didn’t really answer the question and that along with Taren’s order to have her hide put her on edge._

_“What brings you this far south?” Taren asked._

_“We are seeking a runaway servant girl who has stolen from our lord. We have tracked her south, but I am afraid the trail has gone cold. I don’t suppose you have seen any strangers in the area lately.”_

_“No, but then again I don’t travel much beyond my own homestead,” Taren replied. “This girl must have stolen something of great value for you to have traveled all this way.”_

_“Yes, it is quite important. In fact we are offering a reward if anyone should help us find her.”_

_“A reward. Wow. Well in that case I wish I could help, even a small reward would go a long way here. But alas I have not seen any strangers in the area,” Taren said. “I am also afraid my house is not suitably sized to accommodate you and your eight men.”_

_Nine riders,_ _Regina_ _thought. She wished she could risk taking a look at them but her instinct was telling her to remain where she was at._

_“Is it just you here?” the man asked._

_“Yes, unless you count the animals,” Taren laughed. “But yes I have been alone since my wife passed away many years ago.”_

_“We don’t mean to intrude, but even if you were willing to let us bed down here outside we would be very grateful. We would be on our way first thing in the morning.”_

_There was a pause._

_“I will tell you what, you and your men looked skilled with your blades and bows there. Perhaps you would be willing to go out into the woods and maybe fortune would favor you to find some fresh game which I could cook up and serve for our dinner. That I think would be more than a fair trade for taking up some room out here.”_

_“That seems more than fair,” the man said. “I thank you.”_

_She heard him give orders to three of his men to go hunt. That meant six were still there. She also heard them dismount._

_“Feel free to set up camp,” Taren said. “I need to finish off this chore and then I must sit down. My old bones aren’t what they used to be.”_

_“Fuller, help him,” the man ordered._ _Regina_ _tensed as she heard footsteps approaching the stall and she heard the horse whinny._

_“My horse is unaccustomed to so many people being around,” Taren said. “If you would take the cart of manure over there, I will handle my own horse.”_

_A moment later Taren was leading the horse into the stall. As he did so, he called out. “This girl you are hunting, what does she look like?”_

_“Girl may be the wrong word. She is a woman,” the man said._ _Regina_ _’s heart beat increased as he went on to describe her. She looked at Taren who was putting the discarded blanket on the horse. She saw him mouth “stay” and then turned and exited the stall, closing the door behind him._

_“I hope you find her,” Taren said. “A person ought not to steal.”_

_Shit,_ _Regina_ _thought, they were looking for her and she had no idea why. Now six of them were out there and there was literally nothing she could do to help herself. There was no way that it was a coincidence that they were here now looking for her and she didn’t believe for a second that they merely wanted to bed down for the night. Yet they were apparently trying to be coy about this as they weren’t simply ransacking the place looking for her._

_She was trapped though. Taren may had said stay but where else could she go as there was only one way out of the stall and that was through the door. She began looking around the stall for something – anything that might help her._

_But there was nothing._

_Her only option was to make herself even more hidden within the stall in case they did decide to search the place._

_They had only gotten part way through cleaning it out so there was still straw in there. It has been pushed back to the far wall as Taren had shoveled so it now there was a pile of it which might be enough for her to hide in. That is if the smell of it didn’t kill her. She mentally cursed Taren for having such sloppiness when it came to caring for a horse. Inching closer to the pile, she kept an ear out for anything. Taren was still talking to the man, asking mundane things about his travels._

_The horse whinnied again as she got closer to it and she wished she could rise up enough to put a calming hand on it, but she couldn’t. In fact she took a risk when she reached up and began to slowly pull the blanket off of it. She was going to need it as she didn’t think there was enough straw to hide her completely._

_She continued to inch over to the pile and once there she paused and listened. This was bound to make noise but she needed to keep it to a minimum so she waited to hear what they were talking about and if it was likely to continue. Once she was sure it was, she began to slowly move her feet into the pile. It shifted as she moved but she didn’t dare risk doing it quicker. Once half of her body was in it and she had fought back the urge to throw up several times she reached with her hands and pulled some of the loose straw up for additional covering._

_She wasn’t sure how long it took but Taren was talking the man’s ear off out there as she burrowed in. She couldn’t lie straight in it, having to bend at the knees and lay on her side, but she managed to get all the way in – even so that her shoulders and head were in the straw and then she moved her arm and hand out to place the blanket haphazardly over the top portion of her body for extra coverage._

_The smell seemed less overpowering now and she knew it was because she was becoming more used to it. But it was harder for her to hear what was going on now. She again wondered when was the last time Taren had cleaned this place because there was a lot more straw here than was strictly needed for a stall with one horse. It was like he had let it build up over time._

_Time passed and she thought she heard Taren maybe invite the man into the house. She knew the book was locked away under Taren’s bed and there probably wasn’t any sign that anyone but Taren lived there as they had cleaned the breakfast dishes and put them away that morning. Even her clothes were in a chest in the bedroom as they weren’t exactly clothes for this place. She had been wearing some older dresses that he had not explained where they came from and her current clothes were an old pair of pants and shirt belonging to him from his younger days he had said. She was quite sure she would never wear them again even if the smell ever came out of them._

_She had no way of knowing how much time was passing and she was sure it was less time than she what she thought. There was no way she could relax so she tried to think if she had read anything about what was north of here. Nothing was coming to mind except maybe Taren saying there were mountains to the north. He had said there wasn’t a lot around his place but woods and he preferred it that way._

_She wondered if others knew of this foretelling of her being here and that is why these men were looking for her. The fact they were lying about her being a servant who stole something told her that their intentions were most likely not innocent._

_When she had asked Taren about what had been written about her he had told her that she would face choices ahead and those choices would determine more than her own future. At this point she was choosing to trust Taren._

_She tensed when she heard the stall door open and the horse whinnied and stepped closer to her – or so she thought. She couldn’t see anything, but she forced her body to be still._

_“What a mess,” she heard a man say. It was not the same one as before._

_“Give the man a break, he’s older than my grandfather from the looks of him,” another guy said._

_“This place reeks,” the first man said. “What are we doing here anyway? This guy seems about half senile.”_

_“Who knows. The lord wants this_ _Regina_ _woman brought back and if we fail in that, well I think I would rather be dead than face his wrath,” the second guy said._

_Great, he knows my name too,_ _Regina_ _thought. She wished someone would explain to her what was going on._

_“Let’s just finish searching the place while the captain has the old man distracted. She heard footsteps getting closer and figured there was no way one of them didn’t jam a sword into the straw or something. The horse whinnied again and one of the men said, “whoa, easy girl.”_

_Idiot,_ _Regina_ _thought as the horse was clearly male. Then she heard the horse moving and then she felt a weight – a heavy one, but not unbearable – leaning against her hiding spot. The horse must have chosen that moment to lie down._

_“Let’s go,” one of the guys said._

_It wasn’t until she heard the stall door close that she allowed herself to breathe. The horse must have sufficiently hidden her to the point where they saw no need to explore any further. Mentally she rejoiced in her good luck and the horse’s timeliness._

_Of course now she was really stuck._

_She knew a horse wouldn’t lay down for more than an hour or two unless it was sick. From her examination of it earlier, it was not sick despite its living conditions. After leaning against this dirty, filth ridden straw it would need brushed down again and she would need a bath – a long one – after this and she wished she was back home with her full sized tub and bath soaps._

_The rest of the time passed in slow increments for her. Those who had gone hunting must have returned as she could hear talking of preparing some animal. The horse finally stood back up, giving her a small measure of relief. At one point Taren returned to the stall with the excuse of making sure the horse was fed and watered. When he did, he must have figured where she was hidden because he said in a low voice, “you must remain in there. I’m sorry. There is bread and cheese wrapped in cloth lying next to you if you need to eat. You must not let these men find you.”_

_She couldn’t respond as much as she wanted to. Her frustration was only increased by the fact she was in no position to protect herself._

_After she had rested those first few days she had come to the conclusion that somehow her magic was gone. Her magic had been like a second skin to her and now it was missing. It felt like those 28 years of Storybrooke being frozen in time. There was no magic there and she had learned to live without it, but now that she was used to having it back and she was in an unknown and dangerous situation it was more than imperative that she have it. Plus magic was the only way she was going to get home._

_Then there was the matter of what it said about her in that damn book. It said she had the potential to be Savior to this world, to destroy its greatest threat which apparently was some sort of magical cauldron. Something about a cauldron seemed vaguely familiar to her, but she couldn’t say why. The book said it would take powerful magic to destroy it and she would be the wielder of that magic._

_She hadn’t told Taren that her magic was gone._

_The only thing she could think of was that in absorbing the magic of the curse, it had burnt out her own magic._

_She hadn’t shared this information with Taren because he had yet to share anything of real substance with her. She had asked him numerous questions from where this prophecy had come from to where this cauldron was and what did it do but the old man kept putting her off. She swore if she got out of this straw pile he would answer her questions whether she had the magic to compel him or not._

_As more time passed she wondered how late it was. She had heard men talking although she couldn’t make out what they were saying. That chatter had died down. Her whole body ached from being stuck like that and she longed to be able to stand and stretch. If it got worse she didn’t see any way for her to not at least try to get some relief. She had moved once to grab the food, which she had ate quickly and then covered her body back up._

_She guessed it was late in the evening when she heard two men speaking once more. They must be near the stall for her to hear them and she recognized one as the captain’s voice._

_“Tomorrow we will ride west and rendezvous with the other search parties. Hopefully one of them has found her if not we will swing east once more,” he said. “She has to be in the region somewhere.”_

_“What if we don’t find her?”_

_“We will find her. The only way she remains hidden is if someone is helping her and I have no issue with burning every homestead and village to the ground if we have to in order to flush her out. She is too important to our lord for us to return to him empty-handed.”_

_“Do you really think she can do what they say?”_

_“Our lord believes it and that is good enough for me.”_

_“We will be unstoppable with her,” the other man said. “All the lands will bow down before our lord if she can indeed bring the dead to life.”_

_Regina_ _almost came out of her hiding spot to confront the man and ask him what he meant by that. She had no such power even when she had her magic. If she had that kind of power casting the curse would have been unnecessary because she would have simply brought Daniel back to life._

_Why would these men think she had that kind of ability?_

_“First we must find her,” the captain said. “Let’s get to sleep. I want to ride out of this pathetic place as dawn’s light.”_

_Things got quiet after that and_ _Regina_ _was stuck there with only her thoughts._

_She was able to doze off and on but before the sun was rising she decided she needed to move as she felt a cramp in her lower leg. Being as careful as she could she first sat up so the straw and blanket came off the top part of her and then she straightened the leg that was cramping. The horse looked down at her but didn’t make any noise as she continued to move slowly. Finally she got up into a crouch, putting some pressure on the cramping muscle._

_She didn’t even want to know what she looked like or smelled like._

_Once her body wasn’t screaming at her with aches, she sat down, her back against the wall and waited. It was a while yet before she heard movement from the men camped outside. They must have been an efficient unit as it didn’t take long for them to get up and ready to go._

_Taren must also be up as he came out and was speaking with the captain._

_“Good luck with your hunt for the thief,” Taren said._

_“Thank you,” the captain said. “and thanks for letting us inconvenience you by staying here.”_

_“If I should see this woman, what should I do?” Taren asked._

_“Do not approach her. We have a man stationed at the crossroads toward the village to the west of here. If you have the opportunity, go there and tell him.”_

_“Understood. Good journey captain.”_

_Regina_ _remained where she was at as more minutes went by after she heard the horses leave. She didn’t stand until Taren came into the stall and when he did, she was on him, pushing him against a wall and putting her hands on his throat._

_“No more patience old man. You will tell me what is happening here,” she said._

 

When she had remembered that part Regina had wondered if she was a good person. No one here in Storybrooke had indicated that she might be a bad person, but when she remembered putting her hands around Taren’s neck she had felt anger and felt there was nothing wrong with her doing it.

That is why she needed to remember all of it. She needed to know what exactly she had done with the cauldron – because one thing she was certain of, it was that she had done something.


	16. Chapter 16

“How has she been?” Emma asked Snow as she came into the house.

“Quiet as usual,” Snow replied. “She spent time in her office when we first got back until she started cooking dinner. There was one thing though; she asked me if she was a good person.”

Emma crooked her head sideways a bit. “What did you say?”

“I asked her why she was asking that and she sort of shut down on me. I told her I thought she was a good person and that she had once saved my life,” Snow said. “And she didn’t really react. It was like she was thinking about it and trying to determine if I was telling the truth. Do you think she remembers part of her past life? Do you think she remembers being queen?”

“I do think she remembers more than she is saying,” Emma said. She went on to explain the comic book like drawings Regina was now doing and her suspicion that Regina had lied to her. “It’s like with that stunt she pulled at the well, she thinks she was right to go back yet nothing she has said or revealed really explains why.”

“What should we do?”

“Nothing for now,” Emma said. “The best we can do is keep an eye on her. I will see if I can get her to open up more or at least let me see more of the drawings she is working on, but beyond that I don’t know.”

“Remember, you don’t have to do this alone.”

“I know.”

Snow gave her daughter a hug before bidding farewell to her and then to Regina who nodded instead of saying anything to her.

Henry, Emma and Regina sat down for dinner and Regina asked Henry how school had gone that day and he spoke to her about that and other things like comics books. Emma sat back and observed them. Regina was much more relaxed around Henry than she had been in the beginning and she liked that Regina would smile at Henry as he told a story or shared some fact he learned in school.

She wondered if Pan’s curse had never happened and they had all continued on with their lives if she would have ever gotten the chance to experience this – to have a sit down dinner with just Regina and Henry.

It would be nice to think that they could have gotten to something like this on their own, but Emma also realized that was probably just wishful thinking on her part.

While she believed Regina knew more than she was letting on, she didn’t think that Regina really remembered Henry – if she did Emma was sure their interactions would be different. Regina would be more of a mom to Henry if she remembered. As it was, Emma was the one asking him if his homework was done or reminding him of things. Regina was more in the role of a friend.

Henry was clearly willing to take whatever he could get from Regina.

In a way, Emma thought Henry was sort of enjoying seeing Regina this way. Of course he wanted her to get her memories back and return to normal, but he seemed to get a kick out of her not being in the typical “mom” role.

After dinner Regina started cleaning up while Henry went to his room – most likely to play a video game not do his homework.

Emma decided to stick close to Regina and see if she could get her talking. She dried the dishes as Regina washed them, but they did their tasks in silence until they were down to the last couple of items.

“Do you mind if I ask you some questions? About the stuff you have been drawing?”

Regina paused in the middle of handing Emma a dish and for a second they made eye contact before Regina fully handed the dish and went back to concentrating on washing the final plate.

“Look, I get that you probably don’t want to talk about it because some bad stuff happened to you, but I think it would be a good idea if you would talk about it so that we can figure this all out. You say you have to go back there but do you even know why you feel that way?”

Regina finished scrubbing the last dish in silence and handed it to Emma. “What does it matter, you said I couldn’t go back.”

She emptied the water in the sink and wiped off the counter space around it. After she put the dish towel down she made to leave, but Emma grabbed her hand. “If you are so certain that you have to go back then convince me why I should let you,” she said. “Tell me what happened to you. Like I said earlier today, I want to help you, I really do, but I can’t help you if you aren’t going to let me.”

She was looking into Regina’s eyes hoping the other woman would talk to her, but when Regina averted her eyes, Emma let go of her hand. Regina walked to the door before turning back to Emma.

“I remember telling Taren that my son – that I had to get back to my son, get back to Henry. He asked me if I was afraid, if Henry was in some sort of danger,” she said. “I told him no. I told him Henry was safe because you were looking out for him. His other mother was watching over him. Thank you. Thank you for keeping him safe.”

“I will keep you safe too,” Emma said. “You just have to trust me.”

Regina nodded. “I’m getting there.”

“Good,” Emma said. “Because at some point you are going to have to learn to trust someone.”

Regina didn’t say anything else, merely left the room. Emma checked to make sure the back door was locked, turned off the lights and went out to the living room where she sat on the couch and turned the television on. She wasn’t looking to watch anything in particular, but she figured she could waste some time before going to bed. She had tried at least to talk Regina, but clearly she wasn’t ready to talk yet.

Emma could only hope that it wouldn’t be that long before she was ready.

…..

Regina retired to her office after doing the dishes. She sat at the desk and opened up the sketchbook and continued where she had left off. Even as she was drawing she was thinking about the time she had spent with Taren. Being the only ones there they had spoken often – that is after Regina became comfortable around him. When she had first woken up there she had distrusted the whole situation and didn’t like that Taren was clearly holding back information from her.

But there was something about the old man that was entirely likeable. Even in her worst moments, he always seemed to know what to say.

 

_Regina_ _squeezed harder on Taren’s neck. “You are going to tell me who those men were and what they want from me and you are going to tell me now.”_

_He had made no move to throw her off or defend himself, just looked at her with those gentle eyes. She wanted to show him that she was dangerous and not to be crossed but the more he stood there not making any attempt to stop her, she began to lose her resolve. She finally let go and backed up._

_He coughed a couple of times as more air rushed into this lungs and she paced in the small space of the stall trying to get control of her anger._

_“If you would care to finish up cleaning out the stall, I will prepare you a warm bath inside. You seem like you could use it.”_

_She looked at him in disbelief. “Clean the stall? A bath? First of all, I wouldn’t need a bath if you hadn’t let this stall get like this. No horse should be kept in these conditions. Secondly, I may not have my hand around your neck but that doesn’t mean you are going to get out of answering my questions.”_

_“Perhaps when you start asking the right ones, I will begin answering them,” he said._

_“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. “And what pray tell should I be asking.”_

_“Well you might ask why this stall is so dirty.”_

_She looked around the stall in disbelief that this conversation was even happening. Not for the first time since she woke up there she wondered if this man might be a little senile._

_“Maybe it’s covered with filth because you are lazy and you thought since you brought me here I owe you some service,” she said._

_“You could look at it that way, but that would be the wrong answer,” he said. “The correct answer would be that the pile of dirty straw was there for you, specifically for you to have some place to hide while our guests were here.”_

_She laughed at this. “Really? You expect me to believe that?”_

_“You don’t have to believe it to make it true. You may have noticed that I didn’t even have the horse in this stall the entire time you have been here. I certainly wouldn’t keep a horse in these conditions,” he said. “But knowing we would have company it seemed prudent to give you a place to hide that no one would look at. Now, I’m quite serious about your need for a bath_ _Regina_ _. I will go draw you one. It should be done by the time you finish your task out here. Remember, the wheelbarrow and the shovel are over by the shed.”_

_He walked out, leaving her standing there. She looked down at the pile she had stayed hidden in and then back at the door way that Taren had just left through._

_“It’s not possible,” she said._

_Still, she led the horse from the stall, tied it up next to the water trough and went and got the wheelbarrow and shovel._

_By the time she finished mucking out the stall and putting fresh straw down, she was hot, sweaty and sure she stunk. She walked into the small house and Taren who was tending to the fire stood up._

_“Don’t say a word old man,” she said walking to the back room where her bath awaited her._

_She lingered in the bath water until it went cold. When she had first immersed herself in it, it had seemed scolding to her, but once her body adjusted she let the heat sink into every inch of her sore body. She was still sore from being in that cramped position for all those hours and then working on cleaning the stall._

_As she worked she kept wondering if Taren had been telling the truth and that somehow he had known those men would arrive looking for her. Where she was hidden at really was the only spot that would have been safe barring her fleeing into the woods so it was good that she had been there when they arrived. But was it anything more than luck?_

_Since her picture was in the book and it told of her coming there she had to give some credence to what Taren said._

_Once she was finished with her bath and had emptied the tub – she couldn’t wait to get back home to her shower – she took her time dressing and then finally went out to the main room where Taren was sitting at the table eating. He quickly got up and got her a plate of food, which she was thankful for since she was now starving._

_They ate in silence and when both were finished Taren cleaned up while_ _Regina_ _continued to sit there._

_“How did you know those men would come here?” she asked finally. She decided not to question that he did indeed know, just how he knew it._

_“An oracle showed me glimpses of what to expect with your coming,” he said. “This was years ago when I was a younger man. I don’t know everything but I do know some things.”_

_“Such as what?”_

_“Such as your coming here marks the end of my days.”_

_“What?”_

_“Now, now, I have lived a long and full life,” he said. “I am ready for the end. I’ve been waiting for you_ _Regina_ _, waiting for the day you would arrive here because you alone have the potential to put an end to a great evil in this world. I say potential because I do not know if you will actually do it. That is an answer I spent years trying to find out, but I never did. I do hope I live long enough to find out the answer.”_

_“Would you get to the point already?” she said getting frustrated once more. “I get it, that book says I am here to be some Savior, to destroy this cauldron but you have yet to explain anything about it and maybe more importantly why I should care? Now those men were hunting me which means others must know I am here. Who were those men and who is this lord they speak of?”_

_Taren didn’t speak immediately; in fact he turned and stared at the fire that was burning in the hearth for several minutes – minutes which were making_ _Regina_ _even more frustrated. She was beginning to think she was going to have find some way to force him to tell her what he wanted. And she realized she had one bit of leverage._

_“Fine,”_ _Regina_ _said standing. “If you won’t tell me these things, I will go and find these other men who were looking for me. I heard what they said about having a man stationed not far from here.”_

_“You do not want to do that,” Taren said. “At least not yet. Sit_ _Regina_ _. You really should learn to be patient.”_

_“I think I have been more than patient with you so far.”_

_“Sit,” he said once more and she paused a moment before doing so._

_“The Black Cauldron is nothing more than an object. Its magic was stripped from it in the time of my great-grandfather Taran who was once High King of this land.”_

_She raised an eyebrow at this, wondering how this man’s great-grandfather was a king yet here he sat on a modest farm in the middle of nowhere. She decided to keep the question to herself for the moment._

_“Before he became king, when he was still a boy, he grew up here under the care of an enchanter named Dallben. He was nothing more than an assistant pig keeper,” Taren laughed. “Not exactly the makings of king, but fate had other plans for him. The Book of Three which I mentioned before, it was here as Dallben was its keeper. The aforementioned pig was a named Hen-Wen who had the ability to bring forth visions of the future and was the basis for how the Book of Three was put together.”_

_“Is that how you knew I was going to be here, from a fortune telling pig?”_ _Regina_ _asked with more than a little disdain. Already she was beginning to doubt the veracity of this story._

_“No,” he said shaking his head. “Hen Wen has long passed from this world and with the crowning of Taran as king, the Book of Three really became nothing more than a history book as it had covered all the ground that was foretold. Your story came from a different source. Don’t get ahead of the story. Now where was I, oh yes, while still a boy Taran ended up being part of an adventure unlike the ones he used to daydream about. He found himself in direct conflict with an evil entity known as Arawn, the death lord and his general the Horned King. Arawn gained possession of the Black Cauldron and intended to use it to conquer all the lands.”_

_“How is a cauldron supposed to accomplish that?”_

_“I’ll get to that. Now Taran and a group of let’s say unusual companions were in the thick of this and in the end Taran decided to sacrifice himself by throwing himself into the cauldron to destroy its power. One of is companions, a creature named Gurgi, would not let him do this and instead he took the plunge which killed him but also made the power of the cauldron inert. Now Gurgi was resurrected by three witches and they took possession of the cauldron which was now useless. No one seemed to wonder why the witches would want such a thing since it no longer had its magical properties. Over the years the cauldron fell into legend and was all but forgotten. That was until it resurfaced nearly half a century ago.”_

_“So where is it now?”_

_“It’s in the possession of a Lord Silas who rules the kingdom that once belonged to Arawn. He has made the lands around him powerful and it says he commands a large army but not large enough to take on the High King. With the cauldron though, he would lay waste to the lands and control all. The problem being that the cauldron still remains useless.”_

_“And I am supposed to destroy this useless thing?”_

_“That is my hope.”_

_“Why? What’s the point if it useless? I assume this Silas knows about this prophecy and sent those men to find me because he wants to prevent me from doing this.”_

_“No. He wants you because you also have the potential to restore its power. He seeks you to activate the cauldron so he can use it to take power over all.”_

_Regina got up and began to pace, thinking this through. Taren left her to her thoughts. Finally she stopped. “Does your book say how I am to accomplish either of these tasks?”_

_“Not in specific terms. All I know is that you have a great deal of magical power.”_

_She turned from him, wondering if she should tell him now that she did not have such power. Instead she faced him once more._

_“What is your role in all of this?” she asked._

_“Me? I am merely trying to atone for a past mistake, or mistakes depending on how you look at it.”_

_Atonement. That is something she was familiar with. She certainly had enough of her own mistakes to atone for. But she had a hard time picturing this man as having done anything seriously wrong._

_“What did you do?”_

_“To my great shame, I’m the reason Lord Silas has the Black Cauldron.”_


	17. Chapter 17

Emma checked on Regina before she went to bed. Regina was still at her desk, huddled over it drawing. Emma thought about asking her about what she was drawing but then decided against it. She said good night to Regina who repeated the phrase to her and then immediately put her head back down to concentrate on her work.

While Emma made her way upstairs, Regina erased an errant line from the drawing. She paused to look at the picture – seeing Taren’s kind eyes staring back at her. Every time she drew him she did so with a mixture of happiness and regret.

The more she remembered of this man, the more she realized he was a genuinely good person. The more she remembered of him, she began to realize that she wasn’t a good person like him.

She wondered if he lived still.

 

_“How are you involved in Lord Silas having this cauldron?”_ _Regina_ _asked._

_“While I am descended from the high king, I was never in any position to be a ruler. In fact I am the youngest of four brothers which meant even if it were my family that were meant to ascend to the throne, it would have been one of my brothers who would have been king, not me,” Taren said. “As it was, I had few options of things to do with my life and I chose to become a scholar. I spent years studying a variety of subjects, but it seemed I always returned to magic.”_

_This made_ _Regina_ _raise her eyebrow._

_“Don’t get me wrong, I can’t do magic. But I’ve always been interested in magic and how it affects the world around us. I have written several tomes about magic and its properties.”_

_“To what end? I mean why study something you can’t do?”_

_Regina_ _saw Taren’s eyes light up a bit. She got the feeling that Taren enjoyed having someone to talk to and despite her frustrations with him, she did like hearing him speak. He had the unusual trait of seeming to be both a friend and father figure._

_“To me it doesn’t matter that I can’t do magic. In fact in some ways I see magic as burden to those who do use it.”_

_She considered this and reluctantly agreed with him that magic could indeed be burdensome. Much of her life had been shaped by magic and it was not the kind of life that she once thought she would lead._

_“But I have always found magic and its influences on our world to be fascinating,” Taren continued. “The story of the Black Cauldron is a good example. I became, I don’t want to say obsessed, but certainly over interested in its existence. In part it was because of my own family’s history with it, but also because I found the idea that the Black Cauldron had been rendered completely inert to be nebulous at best. For all my study of magic, I had come to believe a theory and that was that magic never truly disappears. It may take a different form but it just doesn’t go away completely.”_

_Regina_ _thought about her own magic suddenly. If Taren’s theory was true, did that mean her magic wasn’t gone completely? She had hoped that it would come back as she rested up but each morning when she tried to call upon she had only the feeling of emptiness._

_“What did the Black Cauldron do?”_ _Regina_ _asked. She had become curious about this the more she heard, yet she got the feeling Taren was putting off telling her._

_Taren stood up and picked up the fire iron and poked at the logs that were burning in the hearth. It felt calculated to_ _Regina_ _, that he was doing it in order to delay telling her._

_“Taren.”_

_He finished up his task and came back to sit down once more._

_“The reason the cauldron is considered to be so powerful is because it can bring the dead back to life.”_

_Regina_ _couldn’t be more shocked if he had told her that it had the power to capture the sun. She thought back to what those men had said about her bringing the dead back to life. Maybe they didn’t mean her exactly. Maybe they meant since she apparently had the power to make the cauldron work again in a way she did have that power._

_Like when she heard the men say that she couldn’t help but think of Daniel. She had spent so much time trying to find a way to bring Daniel back to her._

_“It’s not life as you might think of life,” Taren said as if reading her mind. “It’s more of life of a dead person. Those brought back are nothing more than mindless slaves to the one who controls the power of the cauldron. But I am sure you can see how a person controlling the cauldron would have an unstoppable army. Imagine troops that you don’t have to worry running from battle or even getting injured. That is Lord Silas’ wish, to have an army he can use to conquer our world.”_

_“An army he can’t have without me,”_ _Regina_ _said._

_He nodded. “That is why he won’t give up until he finds you,” Taren said. “And he will find you.”_

_“What do you mean by that?”_ _Regina_ _asked, the surprise clear on her face._

_Taren reached across the table and took her hand. She didn’t stop him. She felt his rough hand against her skin and she was struck suddenly that this was indeed an old man – an old man who had clearly spent a lot of time on this cauldron._

_“You are at the beginning of your story here,” he said. “Before it’s over you will have to make a choice on whether you will destroy or activate the cauldron. The fate of our world is dependent on that choice. Lord Silas as you can see is sending out resources to find you, but not nearly the resources he could send. Why is that? It’s because like me, he knows that you will have to make this choice – you and no one else – which means to make the choice he knows at some point you will be there with him in his castle, be where the cauldron is.”_

_Regina got up, pulling her hand away. “I don’t want any part of this,”_ _Regina_ _said. “Do you understand that? All I want is to get home to my son. I don’t care about this Lord Silas or his plans. And I don’t care what was foretold about me or what is in your book – no one controls my actions but me.”_

_She turned, and went to the door, grabbing the cloak and putting it around her as she walked out. She went to the stall where the horse was and she petted him in an effort to calm down. Her emotions felt like they were all over the place and that was never a good thing for her._

_“I won’t be used by fate,” she said out loud. “Not again.”_

 

Regina yawned as she closed her sketchbook and put it away in the desk. Shutting off the lights she went upstairs to her room. She paused at Henry’s door and then opened it up to see him asleep there on the bed. She leaned against the doorframe for a little while watching him.

As she remembered more and more she knew that while she was in that other place her thoughts had always returned to Henry. She liked his smile. The longer she had been back the more smiles she got to see from him.

He had told her before how glad he was that she was back.

She was happy to be back to even if so much of her life was still missing. She wished she remembered him and she wondered why her memories had been from that other place and not this one.

Closing the door, she went to her own room. Inside was dark but she could still see that the bed was empty which meant Emma was in the other room. She thought about going there and getting into bed with her. She didn’t know why but she felt calmer at night when Emma was near. The edginess and nightmares that she had when she first came here were eased when she was in close proximity to Emma.

To her Emma was still a mystery though. She couldn’t quite figure out what their connection to each other was. Yes, Emma had explained that she was the one who had given birth to Henry but it was she who had raised him. They were both his mothers Emma had said.

But it had to be more than that Regina had figured. Emma’s concern for her was evident. Still, like Henry, she got the feeling that Emma had some expectation of her – and she felt like she disappointed Emma in some way. It was hard for her to explain even to herself. She wondered if she should talk to Emma about it as the other woman did seem to want her to talk about these things that were in her head.

Yet Regina hadn’t taken that step. There was another part of her that was wary of the blonde because Emma had confused her – telling her she had no master and then telling her that she was her master. She had seen Emma be angry at her and then kind. The range of emotions she had seen with Emma made all of this harder on her because she didn’t know for sure that Emma was someone she could trust.

Emma had stopped her once from returning to that other world. Would she do it again?

She got ready for bed – she was tired, but it wasn’t a physical tired. She was tired of not knowing who she was. She didn’t know who Regina was and she worried that the answer to that question wasn’t here in Storybrooke.

…

Emma woke – more than a little surprised that she was waking up alone. When she had went to bed the night before she had considered just going to Regina’s room, but she had stopped herself. Still she figured that when Regina went to bed she would come into her room and slip into bed with her.

She knew there was so much about her sleeping with Regina that could be construed wrong. But she also knew that Regina slept better when she was near and for Emma at least that made her feel good – it was one thing that she could take as a positive. She felt like she hadn’t really helped Regina much through all of this except for that one thing.

Emma went to Regina’s room and found it empty. She knew she shouldn’t worry every time she didn’t know exactly where Regina was, but she couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. Going down the stairs – knocking on Henry’s door on her way so he would wake up – she went to the kitchen where Regina was already preparing breakfast.

She had cut up some peppers and mushrooms, along with some ham and sausage. It took only a moment for Emma to see Regina was preparing to make omelets, which happened to be one of Emma’s favorite breakfast foods.

“Good morning,” Emma said coming up the counter where Regina was working. “Do you need any help with all of that?”

Regina shook her head no and Emma wondered if today would be one of Regina’s quiet days.

“Did you sleep ok?” Emma asked.

This time Regina nodded and Emma thought yep today was apparently going to be a no talking day. Emma walked over to the table and sat down figuring there was no point in standing next to Regina if she didn’t need any help and wasn’t in the mood for talking. Henry came down a few minutes later.

“What are you making?” he asked Regina.

“Omelets,” she said.

“Cool.”

Henry joined her over at the table as Regina finished beating the eggs and began to cook an omelet.

“Good day?” Henry asked Emma quietly as he glanced over at his mother.

“Not sure,” Emma responded. She was thinking it wasn’t going to be a good day but then Regina spoke to Henry and even gave him a smile. So maybe Regina wasn’t going to be silent today – or she was only planning on being silent with Emma.

It wasn’t long before Henry had his omelet on plate in front of him and was eating. Emma tried not to study Regina as she went about making another omelet – presumably for her but she couldn’t help but notice the intensity with which Regina was concentrating. Yes, Regina normally concentrated while cooking but Emma noticed today there was a tension with the way Regina was holding herself. When she saw Regina drop what was probably the third food item on the floor since beginning Emma saw it wasn’t tension, it was nerves. Regina was nervous about something.

Once her omelet was completed Regina was putting the plate down in front of her and Emma could see her hand was slightly shaking. Yes, definitely nervous about something.

By the time Regina sat down to eat her own food Henry was finishing up.

“Thanks mom. It was great as always,” Henry said getting up and putting his plate in the sink. He went back upstairs to get ready for the day. He was going to be spending the night at a friend’s house and was eager to get moving.

When it was just the two of them they ate in silence, Emma purposely going slow so she could keep observing the brunette who sat across from her. Regina kept her head down the entire time. Even when Emma finished up Regina said nothing, but instead of leaving Emma sat back down. The move made Regina look at her finally.

“What’s wrong?” Emma asked.

No answer.

“I can tell you have something on your mind, so I’m going to sit here until you tell me.”

Regina licked her lips. “Would you take me out to the well?”

Emma sat back in her seat. This is what she was nervous about, Emma thought. Was it the going out to the well or asking Emma to take her that made her nervous however. She knew she should be relieved that Regina asked her and simply hadn’t left the house and gone on her own. “Why?”

“I want to see it again. I … I need to remember what happened.”

“You just want to go look at it, you aren’t going to try anything like you did before, right? You aren’t going to try and jump down the well or whatever it is that you were going to do. You promise me you won’t try anything like that and yes I will take you out there to look.”

Although she wasn’t done eating, Regina got up and cleared her plate. Placing it in the sink with the others, she faced Emma.

“I have to go back to Prydain,” Regina said.

Prydain. It was the first time Regina had said where she had been and it matched the name of the world in Black Cauldron books. It confirmed what they had suspected, and confirmed that Regina did know more than what she had previously been saying.

“Prydain?” Emma questioned. “That is where you were at?”

Regina nodded.

“Why do you have to go back?”

“Because I think I did something very bad.”

The cauldron, Emma thought. This had to be about the cauldron. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know, that is why I need to remember,” she said. “I just have this feeling that I made the wrong choice.”

Emma stood up and approached her. “But you don’t for sure that you did anything bad?”

She shook her head no. “I just have a feeling.”

“Regina, I want to help you. I really do but you need to give me something more than a feeling.”

“Take me out to the well. Please.”

“Ok,” Emma said. “Let’s get dressed and we’ll go out there after we drop Henry off at school.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Emma left the kitchen while Regina finished cleaning up. As she took a quick shower, she couldn’t help but wonder what exactly Regina had remembered. If she had done something bad like she seemed to believe, did that mean she had activated the cauldron? Turning off the water she decided to give Archie a call and see if he would meet them out there at the well. Maybe he could get Regina to talk or help her remember.

…

Archie had warned Emma not to crowd Regina while they were out at the well, but Emma couldn’t help but stay close despite her finally getting a promise out of Regina that she wouldn’t try anything. When she had spoken to Archie, he had told her that he was unavailable to meet them there due to his own appointment schedule. In addition, he felt that it was important that Emma go alone with Regina as it appeared Regina was finally in a place where she was comfortable confiding in Emma.

Regina had brought her sketchbook with her and she held now as she sketched the well, or rather sketched the hole that remained. She hadn’t said anything on the way there or when they got there. She had started by walking around, studying it. Then she pulled out her book and began to draw.

“Anything coming back to you?” Emma asked finally. All of this silence was bothering her. Much like when Regina had first returned and had kept quiet – it was unnerving to Emma. She had given it some thought and the only thing she could come up with was that there really never had been silence between her and Regina. They were always going back and forth before – albeit because they were mostly adversaries.

Part of her wished to hear some scathing remark from the brunette.

Regina hadn’t answered her though; she merely shook her head and went back to concentrating on her drawing.

Emma had checked the site before allowing Regina to get close. In fact she had been sending a deputy out here every day to make sure nothing had been disturbed. She wasn’t convinced that the man who had come after Regina was the last.

It was why Emma didn’t believe Regina had done something bad as Regina put it. After all, if she had activated the cauldron why would anyone be looking to take her back? What she wasn’t sure of, was why Regina hadn’t come to the same conclusion. If only Regina would talk to her, tell her all that she remembered and then maybe Emma could really help her.

Regina took several steps closer to the well, going right up to the barrier.

“I want to look into it,” she said.

Emma walked over and pulled back the barrier for Regina to move past. Then she joined her, standing so close to the hole that either one of them could dive in it if they chose. Her whole body tensed up as she prayed Regina didn’t do anything stupid. She was close enough now that she saw the sketch and saw it wasn’t what she was expecting. This wasn’t a sketch of the hole, it was a sketch of the well as it was before it had been blown apart.

If standing so close to the hole wasn’t making her nervous she might have asked Regina about it. She waited patiently until Regina backed away and was on the other side of the barrier once more.

“Thanks again for bringing me here,” Regina said as Emma put the barrier back in place.

“Yeah,” Emma replied. “Are you ready to leave?”

With another nod of the head, they began to walk back to her car.

“Would you like to go get dinner tonight?” Emma asked. “With Henry gone, I thought maybe you and I could go to Granny’s and eat.”

Regina stopped.

Emma could see the uncertainty in Regina’s face. She had maintained her isolation at the house, not ever going out. Even today when they were in the car driving here she had was increasingly nervous as she stared out the window at things.

Her wounds had healed nicely and although her hair was still shorter than what it used to be, it no longer resembled peach fuzz. In fact Emma had been wanting to broach the subject of getting a hair cut – a trim really to even it all out.

“This place is different than Prydain,” Regina said. “Much different.”

“Will you tell me about Prydain?”

They began walking to the car again. “There aren’t cars there. People get around mostly by horses or walking. Everything is different. The houses, the people, the food, how you cook food, everything is so different. It was familiar. I don’t know how to say it, but I remember being there and not feeling like it unfamiliar.”

“Not like here you mean?”

“Yes,” Regina said. “Some things here seem familiar like I knew them once upon a time, and I guess I did know them. But … I don’t want to go to Granny’s to eat.”

“Ok, fair enough. I could pick something up for us so you don’t have to cook. Would you at least tell me why you don’t want to go?” Emma asked.

“Who am I to you?” Regina asked in response.

She struck dumb by the question, unsure how to answer it. Before all of this happened, she may have answered that they were the mayor and the sheriff of this town and that they were both Henry’s moms. She couldn’t say they were friends despite working together in Neverland. She glanced over at Regina.

“I guess we’re friends, although we didn’t used to be,” Emma answered. “You and I haven’t always agreed on things – a lot of things. But we’re better now. I think it took both of us realizing that we both want the best for Henry and that sort of was the spark for us to put our disagreements aside. When you were gone there were times things would come up with Henry and I would think how would Regina handle this or what would Regina say to him. You’ve been his mom longer than me and you did a great job raising him. So yeah, we’re friends.”

She wanted to say something else, something that didn’t include Henry because without him she knew she wouldn’t be here now with Regina, yet she wanted to be, she wanted to help her.

They reached the vehicle and Emma opened the door for her. Regina stopped before getting in. “You look at me like Henry looks at me sometimes. Like you are both waiting for me to do or say something – maybe it’s something that I would have done or said before. I feel like I’m disappointing you both when I don’t do or say this thing you want. I don’t like how it makes me feel,” she said. “It’s the same with Snow and with Archie. That is why I don’t want to go to Granny’s. I don’t want people to look at me like that.”

Regina got in and Emma closed the door, walking slowly to the other side to get in.

“I’m sorry if I have made you feel bad,” Emma said. “I guess it’s hard not to look at you and wait for you to be like you were before. That is unfair to place on your shoulders. I would say I will try not to do so in the future, but chances are I probably will look at you like that. Just know that I’m ok and Henry will be ok if you aren’t the person you were before. All we want is for you to be ok now.”

….

After Emma had dropped her off at the house, Regina sat down on the couch and finished off the sketch she had been working on out at the well. When she had been out there the first time, she had a vision of a complete well but she hadn’t drawn because she wasn’t sure if what she had seen was real. It was part of the reason why she wanted Emma to take her out there.

The other part was ensuring she knew the route to get there.

She studied her sketch, willing herself to remember something – anything from this world.

She wanted to be able to give Henry that.


	18. Chapter 18

Regina was getting frustrated. Nothing had come from her trip to the well. She hadn’t remembered anything from this world. Emma had texted her to say she would be late getting home, but not by much. In fact Emma was going to pick up some food for them so Regina didn’t have to cook. That was fine with Regina because she wasn’t in the mood to make anything.

Why couldn’t she remember this place?

She had spent time going through various rooms in the house in hopes something would spark a memory. But she had been through the entire house time and time again and like all those other times the things she looked at didn’t mean anything to her. She couldn’t remember the pictures that showed her and Henry together or the ones of him alone that he had explained were school pictures. The office she spent so much time in meant nothing to her other than a place for her to be alone to draw.

Everything was as much as mystery to her now as it had been when she had woken in the hospital.

Deciding to go upstairs and lay down for a bit, she made sure the doors were all locked – something Emma had drilled into her was needed for safety. When she got to the top of the stairs, she didn’t go to her room. Instead she went to Henry’s.

Opening the door, she paused a moment to take in all of the room before entering. She sat down on his bed hoping that maybe this would help with her memories. But a book on his bedstand caught her attention. She reached over and picked it up, looking at its cover and flipping it over to see the backside before staring at the title again – The Book of Three.

She opened it up and began to read.

 

“Regina,” Emma called out. “I’m home.”

She went to the dining table and put down the bags of food. She finished taking out the containers and threw away the bags. Since Regina hadn’t come in yet, Emma went to look for her, going first to the office.

She wasn’t there.

Heading upstairs she saw Henry’s door was open and she peeked in.

“Hey there you are. Dinner is here,” Emma said.

Regina stood suddenly and advanced on her. “What is this?” she demanded holding the book up. Emma saw the title and recognized it as one of the books by Lloyd Alexander that told the story of Prydain and the Black Cauldron.

Emma wasn’t sure how to explain this, but she saw the look on Regina’s face and it wasn’t a happy look.

“It’s just a fiction book, it’s not exactly historically accurate, at least not that we know of.”

She could tell that Regina wasn’t understanding.

“Look, in our world here, this author wrote a series of books about a place called Prydain. We had no idea there was such a place until you returned here and mentioned the black cauldron. When we knew it was a real place, we got these books from the library to read them and see if there was anything in them that was useful in telling us where you were,” Emma said. “We weren’t hiding them from you or anything. We just want to help you.”

Regina looked down at the book in her hand. She had gotten about halfway through the book so far.

“Is anything in there something you remember?” Emma asked.

“You said there are other books, may I read them?”

“Yes, sure,” Emma said. “Anything you think will help. I’ll have to find out from Henry where the others are.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, heading toward her room.

“Hey, dinner is ready, don’t you want to eat?”

Regina shook her head and went into her room, closing the door behind her.

Just great, Emma thought.

…

Emma was watching television later that night when Regina came downstairs. She still had the book in her hand as she sat down on the couch next to Emma.

“The horned king, in this book it describes how he wore a skull mask with antlers coming off of it, I’ve seen this,” Regina said.

“You saw the horned king?”

“No, just the mask,” she said. “It was in this castle that I was at.”

Emma wondered if this was the castle that she was held captive in. “What do you remember about it?”

Regina didn’t say anything at first. “There was a man, his same was Silas. He was the lord of that castle and the lands around it. When I was first there in his castle, he had showed me around. He liked to collect things he said. He showed me this mask, said it was worn by a great warrior. If I am reading this book correctly though, this horned king was not a great warrior, he was … he was evil.”

“I didn’t read the book but yeah from what I know about it, he wasn’t on the side of good.”

“Was I?” Regina said. “You said before that I was the Evil Queen. What did you mean by that?”

Shit, Emma thought. This was not something she wanted to talk about. When Snow had told her that Regina had asked her a similar question she had felt relieved that the question hadn’t been directed at her. She had a mental battle with herself – quickly – to determine if she should tell the truth or not.

“There was a time when you … when you were not a good person. You had been hurt when you were younger and you let that hurt turn into something bad. But you turned away from that life. That’s the important thing. You changed Regina and the person you became is someone that your son can be proud of.”

“But I was evil?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t know you then,” Emma said. “I can only go by what I’ve heard, but from what I know you did things that were evil.”

“Did I kill people?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Because I don’t know who I am,” Regina said getting angry. She stood up, which prompted Emma to do the same. “I don’t know anything. I look around this place and while I’m not as confused by things like the refrigerator anymore, the rest of it – you, Henry, Snow – it means nothing to me. I can’t remember my own son. I don’t know what it was like to hold him as a baby, or hear his first words or see his first steps. It’s not coming back. I’m never going to remember what it was like to be his mother.”

“You don’t know that,” Emma said quickly.

“And you don’t know that I ever will,” Regina shot back. “You don’t know anything do you?”

For a moment Emma thought it was the old Regina standing in front of her. She was standing there straight-backed, staring her down and showing the fire she often displayed when she and Emma were at odds. But there was something else, something in her eyes that Emma had come to recognize as fear. Regina was scared. And if Emma was reading the situation right, Regina was afraid she was never going to get her memories back.

“I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know everything,” Emma said, trying to keep her voice calm. “And yeah, I don’t know that you will get your memories back, but I’m hopeful that you will and I’m going to be here for whatever you need.”

Regina exhaled fully and Emma hoped that was a sign she was calming down.

Until Regina’s next words.

“I think you should leave.”

“What?” Emma asked.

“You have explained that this is my house and that you have another place where you live. I think you should go there,” Regina said. “I don’t need nor do I want your assistance any longer.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

“Well tough,” Emma said. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you alone here.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“Regina, would you stop and think about this for a moment? How are you going to get along without me here? What are you going do when you need food because you don’t exactly want to step outside of the house? And what about Henry?”

“He’s your son, take him with you.”

Emma couldn’t believe Regina said that and she took a step back from her. “You don’t mean that,” she said. “You love Henry.”

“I don’t know even know him,” Regina said. “Just leave.”

This time Regina was the one stepping away but even as she turned, Emma grabbed a hold of her arm.

When the magic pulled her in, Emma realized it was her own, not Regina’s doing it.

The realization made her stop before she truly took in where she was at – inside the castle again.

She was in a mid-sized room with a stone pedestal of sorts in the middle. On top of it was a cauldron. The same man she had seen having dinner with Regina in the earlier memory was there standing next to it. She walked closer to it and was surprised by how ordinary the cauldron looked. Somehow she was expecting something a little more impressive.

She looked around the room but it was only the man in the room.

Where was Regina, she wondered. And how was she seeing what she had had assumed was Regina’s memories if Regina wasn’t here.

A few seconds later the sound of the iron doors opening brought her attention to the one entrance into the room. The other man from earlier – the Regina had bitten – entered and he was pulling a chain which was attached to manacles around Regina’s wrists. He shoved her toward the pedestal and she collapsed to her knees.

Emma was immediately struck by the condition she was in. Regina was wearing the same clothes she had been in when she had returned to Storybrooke. Her hair was again shorn and there were visible bruises on her that Emma was fairly certain were in the same spots as when she had returned.

Could this be right before she ended up in Storybrooke, Emma thought.

The man came around the pedestal and reached down and pulled Regina up by her arm.

“Is today going to be the day?” he asked her. “Is today going to be the day you finally do what you were brought here to do?”

Regina remained silent. Emma had to move in order to see her face and while she kept her head down and her shoulders were slumped, Emma bent down to be able to see her eyes – eyes which concentrating on an invisible point on the base of the pedestal – Emma could see determination there.

“I tire of this,” he said. “Are you also not tired?”

He walked around her, eyeing from head to toe. He went full circle until he was standing in front of her. Grabbing her chin roughly, he forced her to look at him.

“I have offered you power. I have offered you a place at my side to rule all the lands we shall conquer. I have presented you with this cauldron which will give you power over death itself. Yet you spurn all that I have to offer,” he said. He let go of her and walked back to his original position next to the cauldron.

“I don’t enjoy leaving you in the hands of those who treat you roughly,” he said, giving a glance over to the other man. “Please don’t think that I’m deriving any pleasure from seeing you like this, but I will do what I have to do. This cauldron, this is our destiny Regina – yours and mine. Fate has brought us together and so it is time for you do your part.”

Regina stood straighter, her shoulders back and she looked from the cauldron to the man. “I was a queen once, in a land far from here,” she said. Her voice was rough, barely audible at times – much like it was when she returned to Storybrooke. “I ruled over all the lands I could see and I did so employing my magic and a ruthlessness that knew no bounds. People feared me and I reveled in it. I have no desire to return to that life. I do this, and all I ask in return is that you let me go.”

The man looked at her with surprise. “You will do it then?”

She nodded.

“Then yes, you are free to go once it is complete.” He smiled at her and Emma knew he was lying. She turned her attention to Regina, who was staring at the cauldron. While Emma found it to be unimpressive, Regina had an expression of reverence.

“Leave me,” Regina said finally.

“No,” the man behind her said.

“You want this done Silas; then it has to be done my way,” Regina said. “My magic is my own and that is a secret I share with no one.”

She locked eyes with him in the first show of force she had shown him since entering the room.

“I understand,” he said bowing a little to her. “We shall leave you to your work and be outside until you call for us.”

“I will need you to unbind my hands,” she said holding up her manacled wrists.

“Of course,” he said. “Commander, if you would oblige the lady.”

Instead of coming toward Regina, he pulled on the chain that he continued to hold and forced her to come to him. It was clear he didn’t want to be letting her go, but he did it only because he was ordered to. He grabbed her one wrist roughly and Emma saw her wince in pain. He unlocked the cuff and then gave the same treatment to the other – the entire time letting his eyes bore into hers.

Once she was free, she rubbed both wrists and turned her back on the commander and faced the cauldron once again.

“We will leave you to your work,” Silas said. “And be outside awaiting your success.”

Both men left her alone and as soon as the door closed, she glanced behind her to ensure they were gone.

She let out a relieved breath.

Emma moved closer to her, examining her and each second that passed, the more Emma was sure this had to be close to the time Regina had returned to Storybrooke. With the exception of the broken wrist and the arrow wound, the rest of her injuries looked to be about the same.

“Do you have your magic back?” Emma asked, even though she knew Regina couldn’t answer her. If she did, why hadn’t she used it to escape? And if she didn’t have her magic, why did she tell this Silas that she could activate the cauldron? Emma had studied the room and she didn’t see where there was any way to escape the room without going through the lone door.

But Regina wasn’t looking around the room for an escape; she was concentrating on the cauldron.

Emma watched as Regina, closed her eyes and reached her hand out toward the cauldron. Nothing appeared to be happening – at least as far as Emma could tell, but based on Regina’s actions, she was guessing Regina did have her magic back.

“Damn it,” Regina swore as she opened her eyes and dropped her hand.

Well, Emma thought, maybe she doesn’t have her magic.

Regina moved close enough that this time she didn’t just reach out her hand; she grabbed the rim of the cauldron. The moment she made contact a brilliant light exploded throughout the room, forcing Emma to take a step back and close her own eyes.

When she opened them she was again in Regina’s living room.

“What was that?” Emma asked. “What happened in that room?”

“I activated the cauldron,” Regina said. “Now do you see why I have to go back? I have to fix this.”


	19. Chapter 19

“Regina,” Emma said, sitting down in front of the desk. For three days now she had been getting the silent treatment from the other woman. Ever since that last vision sparked a fight between them Regina had gone into quiet mode.

When Regina had told her that she had activated the cauldron and had to go back to fix the situation, Emma had immediately shut down talk of going back. First she asked Regina how sure she was that she had activated the cauldron and Regina couldn’t answer that. Nor was she anymore forthcoming about what exactly she remembered about the entire experience in Prydain. She couldn’t even explain how she would get back there beyond saying that she could get back through the well.

Emma tried to get her to see reason but Regina wasn’t having any of it. It went back to Regina demanding that Emma leave her home, which of course Emma refused to do, so now they were in a bit of a stalemate.

What had pissed Emma off the most about this was that Regina was also giving Henry the cold shoulder. For three days she had barely said a word to him. She had spent all that time in this office either reading the Lloyd Alexander books or drawing. As far as Emma could tell she left only if she needed to eat, go to the bathroom or upstairs to sleep.

Emma had had enough which is why she was here now.

“Regina,” she said more forcibly this time when the other woman hadn’t even acknowledged her.

This time she did make eye contact with Emma, but didn’t say anything.

“I get that you’re still upset but we can’t keep doing this,” Emma said. “Do have any idea how ignoring Henry is making him feel?”

Regina adverted her eyes, and Emma at least could tell she felt bad about that.

“Just talk to me,” Emma said. “No fighting, no arguing, no more shutting down – just talk to me. Let me help you figure all of this out. That’s all I want to do – is help you.”

“Then don’t stop me from going back.”

Emma resisted the urge to get out of her seat and tell Regina that wasn’t going to happen ever.

“Why do you want to go back there so bad? Do you remember everything about being there? If so, tell me about it. Tell me so that I know that if I didn’t stop you from going back that you wouldn’t be just as lost there as you are here.”

Regina looked down at the desk.

Emma sighed, “You don’t remember what happened back there do you?”

“Not all of it,” she admitted.

“Ok, do you see right there, that is why I can’t let you go back there,” Emma said. “You don’t know the entire story so how do hope to do whatever it is that you think you need to do if you go back?”

“I may not know the whole story, but I know how it ended,” Regina said. This time she did make eye contact with Emma and for a moment she seemed more like her old self than she had before. The intensity that was Regina was there. She exuded a confidence that Emma was sure others had found intimidating when she was mayor or even queen. “I brought the Black Cauldron back to life. I unleashed this thing upon an unsuspecting world and I’m the only one who can stop it.”

“What happened right afterward? The last thing I saw was you touching the cauldron and then a bright light. What happened after that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then how do you know that what you saw was you activating that thing? How do you know you didn’t fail at it or that the light wasn’t you destroying it?”

“I don’t know.”

“And if you go back then what? What will you do first?”

“I don’t know.” There was more than a hint of frustration in Regina’s voice now and Emma knew she would need to scale it back a little unless she wanted this to erupt into another fight.

“Alright,” Emma said. “Then before we even discuss you going back there, we need to figure out what happened to you while you were there. If we can piece it together then it will give us a better idea of what we are dealing with.”

“There is no ‘we,’” Regina said, standing up. “This has nothing to do with you. I’m the one who messed up; I’m the one who has to fix it. You can’t understand. Those people back there, they expected something from me. They expected me to save them and I didn’t. You couldn’t possibly know what that feels like.”

Regina moved around the desk, it was clear she was going to leave the conversation by leaving the room.

“I might have a better idea than you think,” Emma said as she stood. Regina stopped several steps from the door and turned back toward her. “You see here, in this world, it was my destiny to be the Savior. I didn’t know anything about it until Henry showed up at my doorstep one night and brought me to this town. He kept telling me that it was my destiny to break this curse and me, I didn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to leave here and get back to my own life.”

“Did you do it? Did you break the curse?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Then you couldn’t understand,” Regina said. “You couldn’t because you succeeded. I failed. I told him, I told Taren, I was no Savior and in the end I proved him right. How much time has passed since I stood there in that room with the cauldron? How much death has been caused by my actions in that amount of time? The cauldron, do you know what it does?”

“Yes.”

“Then if you really are the Savior here, you should want me to go back and do whatever I can to stop it.”

“Ok,”

“What?”

“You win,” Emma said throwing her hands up in the air. “You want to go back and stop this guy from using the cauldron, then let’s do it. You and me. We will figure out a way to get back there. I won’t stand in your way any longer. My only conditions are you don’t get to do this alone and we don’t even consider going back until we have an idea of what to do when we get there, which means you need to start telling me exactly what it is that you remember.”

Regina considered this, remaining silent as she did so. Finally she asked, “Why? Why would you want to get involved in something that doesn’t concern you?”

Emma walked toward her, stopping close enough where she could reach out and touch her if she wished to. “Because it concerns you, which means it concerns me. I’ve been trying and trying to get you to understand that I’m here to help you. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to let you do this alone. Now, are you going to let me help you?”

“Yes.”

…

“Why would you agree to something like this?” Snow asked Emma when she told her parents the next day. She had gone over to their place after work and they were sitting around the table speaking.

Henry was at home with Regina. Emma had yet to tell him about this latest development and she asked Regina not to tell him either.

“I had to do something,” Emma responded. “It was either this or watch her 24-7 which we already have decided isn’t possible. At least this way I can maybe stall her a bit, get her to hold back on wanting to go back and maybe by that time, I don’t know maybe a miracle will happen and she will actually remember who she is.”

“So you don’t have any intention of going there then?” Snow pressed.

“Emma,” her dad said after Emma hesitated in answering.

“What if she is right?” Emma said. “What if she needs to go back there and fix this? What if she unleashed this magic on that world?”

“Then why does it have to be your responsibility to go with her?” Snow said.

Emma sat back in her chair. “So what, I’m responsible for her while she is here, but if she goes back there I’m supposed to do what, just let her go it on her own?”

“I think your mother is concerned is all,” Charming said. “It’s one thing for you to help Regina here in our world, but you are talking about going to a world that you have no idea what to expect. If this magic from this cauldron is as powerful as we suspect this could be more dangerous than anything else we have faced.”

“We?” Emma said.

“Yes, we,” Snow said. “If you think we are going to let our daughter go on some quest in an unknown realm then you’re mistaken. Now what did Regina tell you after you made this deal with her? What has she remembered?”

“Not much,” Emma said.

She went on to tell them about Regina first waking up and talking with Taren and about this book of his that foretold her coming. She explained as best as she could that this Taren was not the same one from the books or the movie, but his descendent. Regina had told her about the soldiers that had come looking for her and how she hid in the horse’s stall presumably because this Taren knew she would need to hide there. She told them how Regina learned what the cauldron did.

But that is where the holes in her story began.

While Regina was able to confirm the things Emma had seen in those visions, there wasn’t much more Regina could tell. She spoke a little more about the castle that Silas – now that Emma knew his name – had kept her in, but it was mostly about what she remembered of the castle itself, not what had been done to her there.

“Do you think she is holding back things she remembers?” Snow asked.

“I don’t know,” Emma said. “If she is, she has done it in a way where I can’t detect that she is lying about it. Here is the thing, we were thinking that these visions were being sparked by her magic or a combination of her magic and my magic, but it’s not, it’s my magic. I could feel it this time when I touched her. Whatever is happening that is allowing me to view this other world, I’m doing it, not her.”

“Is it possible for you to do this to find out more about what happened to her?” Charming asked.

“I don’t know how I am doing it is the problem.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to suggest this, but maybe it is time we bring Gold in on this,” Snow said.

The suggestion shocked both father and daughter who merely looked at Snow.

“We don’t know enough about magic,” Snow said. “If Regina were herself, I would suggest we ask her, but she isn’t herself so Gold is the only one else in town for us to go ask about this.”

It wasn’t as if they hadn’t thought about bringing Gold in earlier than this. They had thought he might be able to determine if there was a magical cause for Regina being like this, but Emma had rejected it because Regina was being skittish around other people. Even though she didn’t want to go out in public, Regina was better around the few people that had been around her.

Maybe it was time to bring Gold in.

…

Regina spent the next week trying to get everything that was in her mind down on paper. She drew and drew – pausing only when it was time to eat, sleep or spend time with Henry. She tuned out the rest of the world completely, not that it was hard when her world was the confines of the house.

Ever since Emma agreed to help her get back to Prydain, she worked to get all the information she could to Emma. She had gotten through all the books by Lloyd Alexander and found them to be interesting but she was unsure of their accuracy. As she told Emma, she knew the back story of that Taran only by what had been explained to her by her Taren.

But every time she went to Emma to show her a drawing, Emma had questions – lots of questions. And Regina was getting frustrated because she didn’t always know the answers and when she did, it didn’t seem to be getting them anywhere closer to returning to Prydain.

Emma had forbidden her from telling Henry what they were planning and she actually agreed with it. The more she spent time with Henry, the more she wanted to ensure he wasn’t hurt by all of this. She had attempted to continue limit her time with Henry so that maybe it would make her leaving easier on him, but she found it hard to not want to be around him.

She wondered how he would take her leaving, and then it occurred to her that it wouldn’t just be her leaving – it would be Emma as well.

It wasn’t fair to him for both of his mothers to leave him like that, she decided.

No, she had made her decision. She was going back to Prydain, but it wouldn’t be with Emma. Someone had to remain with Henry, and she realized there was only one person she trusted with that duty. She had remembered telling Taren that in a memory she had after waking up from a dream in the middle of the night. Emma had been there in bed next to her and after her eyes settled on her sleeping form for a few second, she left the bed.

She had come down here to her office to think about what she had remembered. It wasn’t so much what she remembered of her relationship with Emma, it was what she remembered saying about herself.

 

_“I know you are upset,” Taren said as they sat at the table. She had his book open in front of her and had been reading it for nearly an hour after she had come back inside. The realization of what the cauldron could do had bothered her more than she cared to admit. For years she had spent time and resources finding a way to bring Daniel back to life and here in this world was a instrument that could do just that._

_If Taren was to be believed though, it was not a true life._

_“You don’t know anything about me old man,” she responded, not even bothering to make eye contact with him. She kept her eyes on the text, reading what Taren had previously kept her from reading._

_“Fair enough,” he said. “Then why don’t you tell me something about yourself so that I can know you better.”_

_This time she did look at him. “I’m someone who doesn’t like to be interrupted when I’m reading,” she said and then turned her attention back to the book._

_“Are you this closed off from everyone in your life, or am I just special?” he asked._

_She didn’t respond._

_“What about your son Henry, are you at least open with him?”_

_“Do not mention my son in my presence,” she warned._

_“Then what about Emma, is she a topic that can be talked about? Who is she to you? I assume she is someone special seeing as she is the only other name you have mentioned from your own world. Are you wanting to get back to her as well?”_

_Regina_ _again looked at him. “No,” she said. “Why would you even think that?”_

_“Like I said, you have mentioned no one else. One could conjecture from that alone that she is someone who is close to you.”_

_“She and I aren’t close,”_ _Regina_ _said. “She and I … we have a complicated relationship.”_

_“So you two have a relationship.”_

_“No,” she said quickly. “I mean …” she paused to collect her thoughts. What was a good way to describe Emma? She couldn’t call them friends, but yet they weren’t quite enemies anymore either. She thought suddenly of the moments leading up to her coming to this world. She had stopped Pan’s curse, but there was Emma beforehand trying to find a way to help her so she wasn’t sacrificing herself._

_“Emma is Henry’s mother along with me,” she said finally. “That is the only reason she and I tolerate each other. She is the reason that while I’m concerned about being away from Henry this long, I’m not worried. There is no one else I would trust him with as much as that may pain me to say. I know Emma will protect Henry, keep him from harm and be there for him until I return.”_

_“She sounds pretty special to me,” Taren said._

_“Yes, well you also think I’m some sort of savior so forgive me if I don’t think your opinion is quite top notch.”_

_“You don’t believe you can do this?” he inquired._

_“Like I said before, you don’t know anything about me. If you are wanting some sort of hero then perhaps your book here should have foretold Emma’s coming. She’s the type of person who would probably jump at the chance to go save the day. I am not.”_

_“Your coming wouldn’t have been foretold if you didn’t have the potential to be a hero.”_

_“People waste potential every day of their lives,” she responded. “I’m no hero and the sooner you realize that the less likely you will be disappointed.”_

_She shut the book, tired of this conversation and tired of this man’s presumption that this is something she would or even could do. How was she even supposed to destroy a magical cauldron when she had no magic? She stood up, deciding to go into the bedroom and lay down for a while. She was part way across the room when he spoke up._

_“I understand that you don’t want to be here,” Taren said. “I understand you want nothing more than to return to your son, but …”_

_She whirled around to face him, “you understand nothing. Where I come from, I was a queen. I ruled everything, and I did it through fear. My subjects bowed down to me because if they did not they knew it could mean their lives. There was nothing noble about me. There was nothing good in me. Your stupid book chose wrong.”_

_“So that’s it then,” he said standing up. “You will leave this world to be undone by the cauldron. Is that how you want it? Is that how you plan to return to your son? What will you say to him about this place? What will you tell him about your own choices?”_

_She paused, her eyes going downward before she stared him down once more. “My son has no illusions as to who I am. That is why Emma is in his life. He went searching for her because he knew the Evil Queen would never be a fit enough mother. If you think by bringing up Henry it will somehow convince me to do this thing, you are wrong,” she said. “I’m leaving here in the morning. I mean to find my way back to my world and clearly there is nothing here to help with that.”_

_Turning once more, she went into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her._

_“Damn him,” she said under her breath._

_She paced the length of the small room several times before taking a seat on the bed. She brought her hand out in front of her, willing her magic to form a fireball. Her eyes cinched shut and her jaw tightened as her teeth were forced together. Pouring all her anger, all her emotions into as she had so many times before she believed she could force her magic to do as she wished._

_But nothing happened. She couldn’t even feel a spark of it within her._

_She looked over to the door wondering what to do next. It was a long time before she laid down and even then it was longer still until she slept. Her night was full of restlessness and little sleep so that when she dragged herself out of bed the next day is was with some reluctance._

_Still she dressed in some of the clothes Taren had provided her with – something he had explained he had also planned for when he was sure she would be coming here. She put on a pair of pants and boots, dressing more for a journey than anything else._

_It was cold outside still and she donned the coat Taren had also given her. It had a fur lining inside and she found it to be quite comfortable._

_There was a bag there as well and she stuffed other clothes, including the ones she came here with, in it and slung it over her shoulder before finally exiting the room._

_The smell of fresh bread greeted her and she walked over to the table to see a loaf there, but Taren was no where in the room. Next to the bread there was some cheese wrapped up and also some dried venison. It was neatly packed up._

_The door opened and Taren entered. “It’s for you to take,” he said. “The bread too.”_

_“Thank you,” she said._

_“Here let me help wrap up the bread,” he said coming forward._

_She took the other items and stuffed them into the bag and then did so with the bread._

_“One last thing,” he said and he went over to a trunk in the far corner. She watched as he opened it and lifted several things from it. He brought them to the table and she watched as he began sorting them out._

_One was a sword – a shorter blade than a full sword a man would wield. There was a belt and scabbard for it. In addition to the sword there was a bow and quiver of arrows. There was also a dagger that fit on the other side of the belt, a cloak with a hood and a map which he was now unfolding._

_He pointed to where they were right now. “Three days of travel to the east will bring you here to where the river branches off. Follow the river for another day south and you will come to this area,” he said pointing to what looked like more trees, but the word Glenndale was written on it. “You may be able to find some help there in returning to your world.”_

_“What kind of help?”_

_“Fairies,” he said. “They will see you before you see them. But they are the only ones I know who may be able to assist you. Keep in mind, I don’t know that they can do it, but it’s the best I can offer.”_

_“Why can’t I just cut straight through this way, it seems quicker,” she said pointing at the straight line to the southeast._

_“There is a bog that way that is all but impenetrable,” he said._

_“Noted,” she said. “All of this stuff, I can hardly carry it.”_

_“You won’t have to. I have saddled the horse for you. I don’t imagine a queen is used to walking,” he said. He didn’t say it in a mocking tone and there was a small smile on his lips when he said it. “The fairies, if they can help you, they know where to return the horse.”_

_“And if they can’t help me?”_

_“Then you are welcome to return here if you wish, if not, perhaps the fairies can give you another idea to try. Either way, the loss of the horse means very little to me at this point. Now come, I’ve already put a bedroll on the horse so let’s get the rest of your gear secure._

_She picked up the cloak, putting it on, and then put on the sword belt, placing the sword and dagger in their rightful place. It felt weird to have them on but she also knew going out armed was better than nothing. Back in the_ _Enchanted_ _Forest_ _she wouldn’t have bothered because she had her magic, but this wasn’t home she reminded herself._

_Taren handed her the map and grabbed the bow and arrow. She followed him outside to where the horse stood._

_“The saddlebags are filled with some apples and grains on this side for the horse, and on the other side are some other items you may need on your journey,” he said._

_She tied her bag to the back of the saddle near the bedroll before facing Taren._

_“Thank you for all of this,” she said. “I will have the horse returned to you regardless of how things turn out.”_

_“Good journey to you_ _Regina_ _. I hope you are reunited with your son.”_

_Pulling herself up on the horse she looked down at him once she was settled. “I’m sorry,” she said. “There had to be some sort of mistake. I hope you find your real savior.”_

_She didn’t wait for a response, digging her heels in to get the horse moving and she didn’t look back._


	20. Chapter 20

_Regina_ _rode through the woods for an hour, although probably more by_ _Regina_ _’s calculations before she came to a clearing. It had been such a long time since she had ridden a horse like this and so she stopped and got down to lead the horse through the clearing. She stretched when she first got down, wanting to keep her muscles from tightening up._

_She suddenly felt very alone._

_She hadn’t thought about that when she had decided to leave, but here she was all alone in a land she was not familiar with hoping to find some fairies that may or may not be able to help her get back home. Being alone had never bothered her much. Growing up she was often alone. Her upbringing did not make it easy for her to become friends with others._

_Her thoughts also went back to Henry, seeing him there in the middle of town for the last time. After Neverland she had hope that maybe her relationship with her son could be repaired – that she could have him back in her life. She had even resigned herself to the fact that going forward that Emma would be part of Henry’s life and thus her life._

_She was unsure how that would work, but she knew she needed Henry in her life._

_Holding onto the reins, she began the trip across the field. Taking in the scenery around her, it reminded her a lot of the Enchanted Forest with its rolling fields and open stretches where there were no houses, no buildings, nothing but natural surroundings. It was beautiful and reminded her of home._

_It reminded her of Daniel._

_She used to sneak out to see him so her mother wouldn’t know. They would go out to the lands around her home and find places to share those special moments together. They took advantage of every moment they could get – even if it was a minute, it still meant the world to them._

_Shaking her head in effort to not go down that path of thinking she instead concentrated on walking. The sounds of the outdoors were all around her and she was again struck by how much this was like home and so unlike Storybrooke_

_When the curse first brought them to Storybrooke,_ _Regina_ _had been amazed at how different things were from home. There was very little that she could point to outside of the people that was anything like home._

_Home – she thought. Did she really consider the_ _Enchanted_ _Forest_ _her home anymore?_

_Making it through the clearing she again mounted the horse to go through the forest in front of her. Taking a horse through a wooded area like this could be slow going but she knew from the map that once she was through it there was again wide open spaces for a while. She didn’t particularly want to camp deep in the woods for the night either so she set off at a steady pace._

_The day went slowly for her. With nothing to distract her but her own thoughts time dragged on. She stopped and let the horse rest and eat while she ate some bread and cheese and studied the map. It was getting colder and she put on another shirt under the jacket and cloak to stay warm._

_When she set off again she felt good about her chances of making it out of the forest before nightfall._

_But as night descended she was still inside the woods when she knew she had to stop. Taking the saddle off of the horse and giving him an apple to eat she began to make camp. She spread out her blanket roll and then went to the saddle bag where Taren had put a flint striker for her to make a fire. She was familiar with their use having seen them used in both the_ _Enchanted_ _Forest_ _and seeing Taren use it at his home to restart a fire. He had even had her use it to start a fire a couple of days ago. Now she wondered if that was another of his instances of apparently knowing the future._

_Did he know she would leave there? Did he know she would need to know how to use one of these strikers for just this instance?_

_She gathered up some sticks and wood and it didn’t take long before a small fire was burning. It was even colder now and she drew her cloak around her as she sat next to it, trying to gather warmth from the flames._

_If Taren did know she was going to leave like that, did he know if the fairies would be able to help her? Did he give her the horse because he knew she would be returning it?_

_What got her about the whole thing was how Taren had acted toward her. If this was so important that she destroy this cauldron, why wasn’t he being more insistent about it? Why didn’t he put more pressure on her?_

_Clearly this other man – this Lord Silas – was willing to bring her in by force to get his way so why wasn’t Taren trying to convince her to stay there?_

_In her heart she knew why – it simply wasn’t Taren’s style. He was the kindest of souls she had met in a long time and she hated that she was nothing more than another disappointment in his life._

_Building up the fire more and bringing some more wood over for later, she finally settled down into her blanket. She laid on her side for a long time just staring at the flames thinking of her comfortable bed at home and the ability to turn the thermostat up at her house. There were things she missed about the_ _Enchanted_ _Forest_ _but even more so she missed some of the comforts of Storybrooke. She swore the first thing she would do when she got home – besides hug Henry – was take a shower._

_She barely slept that evening as the hard ground and the cold kept her from being able to drift off into a sustained sleep. By the time the sun was coming up, she was already on her feet readying to leave. Snow had begun to fall a little while ago and she wasn’t looking forward to riding in this weather. But she needed to get out of these woods first so she could pick up the pace._

_It took her half the morning to emerge from the woods and as she did, she saw from the map that she had journeyed more north than she should have. She must have lost her way in the forest and now she feared she was even further behind than the journey was supposed to take. Again conferring with the map she saw the area that she had pointed out to Taren. He said there was a bog that way that was nearly impossible to get through but it was also a quicker route._

_As she let the horse rest and she ate a little bit of her food, she considered her options. The safe play she knew was to readjust her route and get back on the course Taren had set for her. The quicker option would involve her cutting more south and toward the bog. She had already lost time so she decided to go more south and hope she could skirt this bog and still get to the fairies as quick._

_It was still slow going for her—being unfamiliar with the landscape around her, she kept the horse going slow. By the time night fell, she was again camped and feeling uncertain about all of this._

_It was another cold night and she was thankful she had been thoughtful enough to collect wood from the forest to take with her, but even she knew it would not be enough to keep it going all night so she waited on starting the fire until she couldn’t stand it any longer. That night she again barely slept. She was freezing, despite the meager fire and the layers of clothing. At some point she had dozed off and when she woke, there was a dusting of snow covering her._

_Getting up was a chore as her muscles felt stiff and the cold wasn’t making it any better. She forwent any meal – feeling the need to conserve what little she had and she walked the horse while looking at the map before mounting him once more._

_At this point she knew she was far behind where she should be and even with her course taking her closer to the bog she had not reached there yet so she cut even more south and spurred the horse on to go quicker._

“Wait,” Emma said, interrupting Regina telling her about what happened when she left Taren’s. “You were already lost most likely, behind schedule and instead of turning back to Taren’s you choose to go toward some impassable bog. What were you thinking?”

They were sitting on the couch in the living room as Regina told her the story. Emma was trying to get as much information from Regina about her time in Prydain so she could figure out what to do when they went back there. She sensed that Regina was reluctant to speak to her at first, but she was slowly letting the story come out.

“You weren’t there,” Regina said.

“No, I wasn’t, but come on could you be more stubborn?”

“Miss Swan.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Regina’s eyes tightened and her mouth was partly open as she looked at Emma.

For her part, Emma paused, studying Regina – trying to figure out if Regina had remembered her. The inflection of the ‘Miss Swan’ was not quite like the Regina of old but it was close enough.

“I had to get to the fairies,” Regina continued. “They were my only hope in getting out of there.”

“I’m taking it that you didn’t reach them, the fairies I mean.”

“I did actually,” she said. “Do you mind if I continue my story?”

Emma nodded.

 

_Regina_ _traveled another two and a half days before she reached the outskirts of the bog. It wasn’t long before she had to dismount and begin leading the horse through the softer ground. It was worse than what she thought it would be and she was already wondering if this was a mistake. She wasn’t even sure she would be able to bed down on this ground for the night._

_The odor was almost enough to make her turn around._

_But she kept moving forward._

_While she tried to stay on the edges of it, the swamp was getting wider the farther she went._

_As night fell, she was still moving – but at a snail’s pace. Her feet kept sinking into the ground. The boots she wore were of good quality, but the further her feet caved into the ground, it caused water to pour over the top._

_Still she kept moving._

_By morning, she was barely putting one foot in front of the other as she leaned against the horse, keeping a hold of the reins as she walked beside him._

_She had lost all sense of time and location by the time she let her hand slip from the reins. She stumbled forward through water that was coming up to her knees, her eyes fixed on a small patch of ground in front of her._

_When she finally collapsed, her top half at least had made it to ground._

“Stubborn,” Emma said, under a barely concealing fake cough.

“Tell me since you are such the expert, what would you have done?” Regina said.

“Stayed at Taren’s,” Emma said. “Or at least not gone walking through a swamp.”

“So you are saying you wouldn’t have done anything in your power to get back to Henry?”

“Of course I would have,” Emma said. “But …”

“But what?”

“What were you so afraid of?” Emma said. “Why not stay at Taren’s learn more about the cauldron? Find out more information about what you were supposed to do.”

Regina glanced away from her for a moment and Emma wondered if she should have kept her mouth shut until Regina turned back.

“Supposed to do,” Regina said. “That was what I was afraid of, the idea that I supposed to do something. I didn’t like the idea of not having a choice in it – I can’t explain why. I just didn’t like it. I wanted to be here, not there.”

“And now you want to be there, and not here.”

“It’s not like that,” Regina said. “I just … I have to fix this.”

“I know,” Emma said. “Well you are here now so I know you didn’t die out there in the swamp, so what happened next?”

 

_When she opened her eyes, she almost closed them again. The only reason she had closed them was because she thought she heard her name being called out. She was tired though and only wanted to keep sleeping so she let her eyes shut once more._

_Somehow her name being called out again cut through her haze of her mind and she opened her eyes again. By the time she was pulling her body forward out of the cold water, she was sure she heard her name again._

_Reaching forward to grab what little vegetation there was, she managed to get her legs out completely, but as she did, she felt the cold biting into the rest of her body. She was afraid her body was going into shock._

_There was barely enough strength in her to roll over on her back but she did so. Staring up at a cloudy sky, she laughed a little – a vision of what she must look like lying there in the middle of a bog entered her mind. She laughed louder this time with the absurdity of all of this._

_She stopped laughing as her thoughts shifted to how she could very well die out there – die without ever seeing Henry again._

_“Henry,” she said._

_Thinking of her son calmed her nerves and she began to concentrate on getting to her feet. She knew if she continued to lay there she could very well die so she began the process of moving. Getting to her feet was a chore her body didn’t want to cooperate with but slowly she got there. Once up, she let her hand rest on the hilt of the short sword that was still strapped to her and she listened._

_There were some intermittent sounds – creatures of the swamp moving around in the water but no other noises that she could make out. Certainly there was no one calling her name, and she wondered if she had imagined it._

_The horse was also no where to be seen._

_She was shivering from the cold and the water that soaked her bottom half and she knew the only thing she could do was keep moving._

_If she thought it had been slow going before, without the horse, any idea of making any real progress seemed to be out of the question. Not for the first time, she wished she had the use of her magic. If she had her magic this would not be an issue._

_She stopped at the next patch of land that seemed secure and she raised her hand in front of her, again willing the magic._

_“Come on,” she said. “Just one fireball.”_

_Not since she was first learning magic had she concentrated as hard to get the magic to come but it wouldn’t._

_It was gone._

_Her magic was gone. And it wasn’t coming back._

_The realization caused her to lose the will she had to keep going that she had earlier. She took a seat on the ground trying to consider a life without magic. It shouldn’t be this hard. She had done it for 28 years until Emma had come to Storybrooke, bringing the magic back with her._

_But she wasn’t in Storybrooke. She was here -- in a place where she needed her magic._

_Without magic she would never get home._

_“_ _Regina_ _.”_

_She scrambled to her feet, looking around. Her name, someone had said her name. It sounded faint and she wasn’t sure which direction it came from._

_“_ _Regina_ _.”_

_Turning her head to the left, she was sure that was where she heard it come from. She started off in that direction, trying to keep her own path silent as she kept listening. She was walking for a while before she began to doubt what she had heard. The wind was picking up and it was doing nothing to make her feel any better about the situation. She wondered if it was the wind she had heard or perhaps it was her own mind playing tricks on her._

_She wouldn’t be entirely surprised if that was the case. She hadn’t slept well since she started off on this journey. She was tired, achy and hungry._

_“_ _Regina_ _.”_

_This time she was sure that she heard it and it wasn’t in her mind. It came from somewhere in front of her, so she took off running. As she splashed through water and went through vegetation as fast as her legs would take her, she had no real destination in mind – she merely hoped to find the source of the person calling her name._

_She stopped suddenly, listening to the sounds – listening for anything, but hearing nothing she went running forward again. She kept running, the sword banging against her leg as she ran. She ran until her strength finally gave out and she was forced to stop._

_Where she ended up was still in the swamp but the ground was firmer here and there were trees all around her. She leaned against the one closest to her and knowing she couldn’t go any further she sat down, her back against it. Her breaths were slowly starting to come down from the rapid pace. She sat against the tree for a long time until her eyes began to close once more._

_The struggle to keep them open was one she was quickly losing. They closed once more and she forced them open only for them to close again, but she opened them right back up once she saw a figure floating in front of her._

_“_ _Regina_ _?” the tiny figure said._

_It was a young boy – or so it seemed – except he had wings. A fairy her mind told her._

_“_ _Regina_ _?” he said again when she continued to sit there saying nothing._

_“Yes,” she said as she got to her feet._

_He breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good,” he said. “I’m Tommy. Me and the others have been searching for you. You ought not be here. This is not a good place.”_

_“I lost my horse.”_

_“We found him, which is how we knew to look for you here. Come, follow me.”_

_Despite her exhaustion, the idea of getting out of this place was motivation enough for her to get moving._

_They had gone a short while when another winged boy came up to them._

_“You found her,” this one said._

_“Yes,” Tommy said. “Go on ahead and let them know she is safe.”_

_The other one flew off before_ _Regina_ _could ask any questions._

_“How much further until we get out of the swamp?” she asked._

_“Another day by foot,” he said. “But we there is a spot up ahead where you can rest for the night. Your horse is there.”_

_“He’s not my horse. I borrowed him.”  
”From Taren, yes, we know,” he said._

_“You know Taren?”_

_“Yes. He has long been a friend to our kind,” Tommy said._

_They continued on, not speaking until_ _Regina_ _saw some lights up ahead. She followed Tommy into a small clearing where a fire had been set and there was the horse – and Taren._

_“I told you this way was not safe,” he said._

_“But you knew I would take it, didn’t you? It’s like back there with the hiding in the stable, you knew.”_

_“I did know, but not like before,” he smiled. “I knew because I am beginning to know you. You can’t help but do things your own way regardless of counsel given, can you?”_

_Regina didn’t answer, but she walked over to the horse and petted him, checking him over to make sure he was ok before taking a seat by the fire. She noticed there were other fairies here including the one who had gotten ahead earlier – and she noticed they were all looking at her._

_“Do you have anything I can eat or drink?” she asked._

_The fairies – there were five total including Tommy – practically fell all over themselves to bring her the waterskin while Taren approached her with some food. She accepted both – the two fairies who carried the waterskin over had huge smiles on their face and she thanked them and gave Taren a look as if asking for an explanation for the fairies behavior, but he remained silent._

_She took a huge drink of the water first and then started to eat, trying to restrain herself from gorging on the food – she was after all a queen, well a former one. The entire time she was eating the fairies, who had at least taken seats, kept watching her._

_“What?” she said finally losing her patience. “What are you all staring at?”_

_“Sorry,” Tommy said. “It’s just … you are the Savior.”_

_Regina_ _again looked to Taren._

_“Perhaps we should let_ _Regina_ _get some sleep,” Taren said. “We have a full day’s travel ahead of us tomorrow.”_

_“Do we?”_ _Regina_ _asked._

_“Yes.”_

_Taren got up and handed over the bedroll and she again felt how exhausted her body was as she made camp. The last thing she remembered as she laid her head down was Taren speaking to a couple of the fairies who flew off._

“Where did you go when you got up the next day?” Emma asked,

Regina was about to speak when there was a knock at the front door.

“I’ll get it,” Emma said.

She opened the door and was surprised to see Mr. Gold standing there. He didn’t wait to be invited in, moving past her. “I understand from your mother that you have some magic questions concerning Regina, so I’m here.”

Emma glanced into the living room. “Um yeah, but, you can’t just show up here,” Emma said. “She’s not comfortable around strangers.”

“Well thankfully for all of us, I’m not a stranger.”

He moved toward the room before Emma could stop him and since she didn’t want to upset Regina or make her think anything was amiss, she quickly moved in front of him.

“Regina, this is Mr. Gold,” Emma said.

Regina stood but she made no move to shake his hand or anything, nor did Gold extend his hand. Instead the two former adversaries stood there staring at each other. It went on like that for what Emma considered an odd amount of time.

“Gold,” Emma finally said when she couldn’t handle this silent stare off any longer. He looked over at her. “A word Miss Swan.”

He left the room promptly and Emma gave a glance at Regina before following him but he was already out the door and she had to chase him down the walk.

“Gold,” she said. “What the hell was that all about?”

“My understanding from your mother was that Regina had lost her magic.”

“We don’t know for sure. Are you saying she still has her magic?”

“No, she doesn’t,” he said, getting a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Hey,” she said. “Clearly something is going on here that is above my level three wizard ability so do you want to clue me in?”

Gold looked back toward the house and Emma did the same. Regina was standing in the doorway watching them.

“Regina doesn’t have her magic, but she has magic.”

“Still above my level.”

“There is magic inside of her, but it’s not the magic she was born with. I know that magic quite well as I’m the one who honed it and what I’m sensing from her now isn’t it.”

“Not her magic, ok, is that a bad thing? Because I got to tell you, you look a little spooked.”

“I know magic,” he stated. “I know a lot of different types of magic. I can recognize if a person has dark or light magic in them. Whatever is inside of her – I don’t know what it is. This world here, it doesn’t have magic at least not magic as we know it. Yes there are probably pockets around the world and people who have abilities, but what was made here – Storybrooke – I designed it so that once you arrived to break the curse that it was prepared to be a place of magic. But that doesn’t mean it’s perfect and now there is some unknown magic here, I don’t like it and neither should you.”

Emma turned back to the house but Regina was no longer standing there so she focused again on Gold.

“She hasn’t done any magic since she’s been back,” Emma said. “That and what little we know of her time in that other world is why we wanted you to come see her.”

“She may not have done any magic, but what you should consider is what the magic is doing to her or more importantly, what happens when she does decide to use it,” Gold said.

“Wait, you think this magic could be why she is like she is?”

“I do not know. Bring her to my shop tomorrow – there are some spells or potions I could try that may pinpoint the nature of the magic.”

“Whoa,” Emma said. “You’ve probably already freaked her out enough by barging in there and in leaving so I don’t think she’s going to be up for a day of magic tests with you. Besides, she doesn’t like leaving the house.”

Gold grabbed Emma’s arm and got in her face. “Don’t forget, you’re sheriff in this town. Your job is to protect the town and its citizens. Keeping her here like some stray dog you took in and feel the need to take care of – well Miss Swan, even stray dogs bite the hands of their feeders. Maybe you are forgetting exactly who she is and what she is capable of. I suggest you have her at my shop tomorrow so we can begin to figure this out before she figures out she has magic and who in this town she doesn’t actually like or get a long with, which is pretty much every one and you and your family are at the top of that list. Do your job sheriff.”

He let go and began to walk away.

“Let’s not pretend your concern is for this town,” Emma called after him. “I may be at the top of the list but I’m betting you aren’t far behind me.”

He didn’t respond and she turned and went back into the house shutting the door harder than was necessary. She leaned against and shut her eyes wishing all of this would stop being so complicated.

“Who was that man?”

Opening her eyes she saw Regina standing there, her back straight, her arms crossed in front of her and one of the most intense expressions she had seen from her since returning.

Emma exhaled, “His name is Mr. Gold. You knew him from before.”

“What did he want?”

She considered her next words carefully, wondering how much she should tell Regina.

“Gold. Well, he knows things – a lot of things – about different places,” she paused, hoping she was making the right decision. “And he knows about magic.”

All it took was a slight raising of Regina’s eyebrow to show Emma that the other woman was interested in this last statement.

“Anyway, we were sort of thinking Gold might be able to help with your situation.”

“In what way?”

“I’m not entirely sure which is why I asked him to come by and see you. Sorry, I didn’t know he was just going to show up like that or I would have given you some warning.”

“What did he say to you out there about me?”

“He’s just worried about you is all,” Emma lied. “In fact he suggested that I bring you by his place tomorrow and maybe then he can get a better handle on things and be able to help.”

Regina’s arms uncrossed and Emma knew she had lost her. If nothing else this experience had given her the opportunity to pick up the other woman’s various mannerism.

“No,” Regina said.

This time Emma was the one crossing her arms. “We’ve talked about this. You can’t stay in this house forever.”

“I’m not,” Regina countered. “I’m going back to Prydain and unless you are backing out of our agreement then that is what are you are supposed to be helping me with.”

“I’m helping. All I have been doing is helping you since you got back here,” Emma said, her frustration level increasing slightly. “But what are you are so afraid of about stepping outside that door?”

“I’m not afraid,” Regina said, even as she took a step back.

“Then prove it,” Emma challenged. “Tomorrow, we’ll go have breakfast at Granny’s diner and then we will go over to Gold and see what he has to say, ok?”

“Fine,” Regina said before abruptly turning and heading toward her bedroom.

Great, Emma thought, tomorrow ought to be interesting.


	21. Chapter 21

 

Emma could almost feel the nervousness flowing off of Regina as they drove over to Granny’s. Regina had taken her time getting ready that morning, delaying leaving until the last moment. She could tell Regina was trying – and failing – not to appear to be scared. Emma felt almost bad enough to turn the car around and go back home. Almost.

She knew this had to be done though. A part of her hoped that bringing Regina outside of the house would help spur on her memories. A bigger part of her had given up on that idea.

That morning Regina had asked her what she normally would have worn in going out like that. Since she had been back the clothing she wore was pretty casual, prompting Emma to buy some additional jeans, sweats and even T-shirts. Seeing Regina dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt was something Emma never thought she would see in her lifetime.

Emma had told Regina that it didn’t matter what she wore, but Regina wouldn’t let it go. When Emma asked her why it was important for her to know how she used to dress, Regina replied that she didn’t want people staring at her. So, Regina was dressed as much in her mayor’s persona as Emma could get her to be. It was weird because Regina wasn’t quite pulling off the look. Part of it was the hair – she really needed to convince Regina to let her take her to get her hair trimmed. Part of it was also because Regina didn’t carry herself the same way she used to – that confidence and that unexplained aura that made her seem powerful even when she wasn’t was no longer there.

She parked down from the entrance to Granny’s and shut off the car. Regina had peered out the window at the diner but she made no move to get out.

“Are you ready?” Emma asked.

Regina shook her head no.

“Come on, it’s going to be fine.”

“I don’t want to do this,” Regina said turning to look at her. “I just want to go home.”

For a moment Emma thought of how scared Regina had been when she first returned. This was a different kind of terror though.

“I’m going to be right there with you the entire time,” Emma said. “I promise.”

“What if …”

“What if what?”

“Nothing.”

Regina still continued to sit there staring out at the diner. “Take me home,” she said finally.

Emma sighed, but started the car back up. “Can we at least go see Mr. Gold? There won’t be anyone there but him and his wife Belle.”

This time Regina nodded yes.

Emma hoped that she wouldn’t change her mind once they got there.

“You had a life here, you know,” Emma said as she drove. “People here, they know you are back and they wonder about you so yeah, they are going to stare at you when you go out in public. They are going to wonder about where you have been and how you are doing. That doesn’t mean they are going to stare forever. The more they see you the less they will stare.”

Silence. They drove the rest of the way over that way. But when Emma parked the car this time, Regina unhooked her seatbelt which Emma took as an encouraging sign. Still she made no move to get out of the car.

“You think I don’t understand,” Regina said. She was sitting up straight with her eyes remained forward. “I do understand that I was here before, that I lived here before. But I’m not the same person as before and I don’t know how to be her.”

“No one is asking you to be her.”

“All those people who would stare at me, they wouldn’t really be looking at me, they would be looking at her – the woman I used to be,” Regina said. “I just want to be me, if that makes any sense.”

Emma thought back to fail safe device and how Regina was prepared to die and all she wanted was for Henry to know she died as Regina.

“It makes sense,” Emma said.

She got out of the car first and Regina joined her after a short pause. Leading the way Emma prayed not for the first time that she wasn’t making a mistake in bringing Regina here. She didn’t trust Gold and his offer to help she was sure had an ulterior motive. But she didn’t know enough about magic to even know where to start so Gold was her best option. She planned on watching him closely however and the first moment she got the feeling something was off she was going to pull Regina out of there.

They entered the shop, the ding of the bell startling Regina who turned to look up at it.

“Good morning sheriff,” Gold said as he came out of the back. Belle was right behind him and when she came to stand beside him behind the counter her eyes went directly to Regina. “I see you managed to get our esteemed former mayor out of the house.”

Emma glanced back at Regina whose eyes were going everywhere in the shop, almost oblivious to Gold and Belle as she took in all of the various knick-knacks.

“We’re here, so let’s do this.”

“Bring her back here,” Gold said without further comment as he went into the back of the shop. Belle waited for them and Emma ended up taking ahold of Regina’s arm to guide her back since she was still looking at things. When they got close to Belle, Regina stopped and appeared to be studying her.

“I’m Belle,” she said to Regina.

“Regina,” she replied. “But I assume you know that.”

“I do,” Belle said, giving her a sympathetic smile. “Can I get you some water to drink?”

“No,” Regina said. “Thank you.”

Belle nodded and directed them into the back. Regina looked around back there as well before letting her eyes come to rest on Gold.

“Please have a seat,” Gold said, pulling out a simple wooden chair for Regina to sit on in the middle of the room. Regina glanced at Emma as if to ask if she should and Emma motioned for her to do so.

Once she was seated Gold walked around her a couple of times. On what would be his third trip around, Emma spoke up.

“What are you doing?”

He ignored her and continued to walk around Regina, but Regina apparently had had enough already and stood up. Gold put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back into the seat. “Remain seated.”

“Hey,” Emma said stepping forward. “Keep your hands off of her.”

“Then tell your pet to keep still until I am done.”

“Gold,” Emma said in a warning tone. “She and I can leave just as easily as we came in here.”

“You leave and you won’t get any answers. Although I seriously doubt either of you know the right questions to ask.”

“Has my magic gone dormant again?” Regina asked quickly.

The question caught Gold and Emma off guard, but Gold recovered quicker, coming to stand in front of her.

“What do you know of your magic?”

Regina shrugged. “I don’t know anything. That is why we are here.”

“Your question would suggest otherwise. Tell me, when your magic went dormant before – because you did say again in your question – were you aware of it? The magic, I mean, could you feel it?”

Regina shook her head no.

“Can you feel it now?”

Regina paused and again looked at Emma. “Can you feel your magic?” Emma asked.

“No.”

Emma’s lie detector didn’t go off but the way Regina averted her eyes made her think she lying. She considered it a little longer while Gold had moved away and was rustling through something in the corner. Emma approached her and put her hand on Regina’s shoulder. “You say you can’t feel your magic, but can you feel some other magic – magic that isn’t yours?”

Regina’s eyes had moved from her to the floor in front of her.

“Answer the question,” Gold said, as he approached them holding some sort of liquid in a vial.

“I want to go now,” Regina said to her.

“Can you give us a moment?” Emma asked Gold.

“Fine, a moment.”

He disappeared back into the front of the store. Once he was gone Emma knelt down in front of Regina, keeping a hand on her knee. “You don’t want to be here, I get it,” she said. “But I’m asking you to give it chance. I can’t help with any of this magic stuff. I don’t know enough. You want to get back to Prydain, you want to stop this Silas guy and the cauldron, well it’s going to take magic to do these things and unless you remember a lot more than you are telling me, then Gold as big as a pain in the ass that he is, is our best bet to get some of this magic stuff figured out. Now he said he could sense magic in you, but you say you can’t feel your own magic, so help me out here – do you feel some other magic that isn’t yours?”

“I don’t know,” Regina said. “I don’t remember enough to really know what I should feel like. I remember being in that swamp and trying to call forth my magic and it failing every time. I remember feeling helpless because I couldn’t make the magic work. I kept it a secret as long as I could from Taren. I didn’t want to admit the truth. I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

She paused. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Emma wasn’t sure how to react. She wasn’t sure why Regina would care if she disappointed her or not. She wondered if this was some leftover feeling from Regina thinking she was her master.

Her thoughts drifted back to the car when Regina had expressed that she didn’t want people looking at her because they would be looking for the old Regina and Emma realized she had been doing the same thing. This entire time – despite how different this Regina was from the one she knew – Emma had been expecting her to be her former self.

“I don’t want to disappoint you either,” Emma said.

“I don’t like him,” Regina said peering around her and Emma turned to make sure Gold wasn’t lurking behind her, and thankfully he wasn’t.

“Yeah, he’s probably not one of your favorite people in the world to be honest, but like I said, he’s the only one here who can possibly help us with this magic stuff. I’m asking you to try and let him do what he thinks he can so we can figure this out, ok?”

“Ok.”

Emma stood and called Gold back in and he eyed Emma before going up to Regina with the vial he had been holding earlier. He held it out to her. “Drink.”

“What is it?” Emma asked even as Regina took it from him.

“It will hopefully give me a better handle on what kind of magic she has in her,” he said. Regina was studying the liquid so he again said. “Drink.”

This time she did so and almost immediately dropped the vial and began to cough.

“What the hell did you give her?” Emma asked as she put a hand on Regina’s back.

“Wait,” Gold cautioned.

Not five seconds after he said it Regina raised her head up to the ceiling and with one more cough what looked like smoke came out of her mouth. Emma pulled Regina from the chair, keeping a hold of her hand as she placed herself between her and Gold. But he wasn’t paying any attention to either of them as she watched the grey smoke swirl and then disappear.

“What did you do?” Emma insisted.

“I confirmed that Regina here does have magic in her,” Gold said. “She wouldn’t have reacted like that if she did not. I assure you, she is no worse for wear for having drank that. It was merely a means to an end.”

“A little warning would have been nice,” Emma said.

Gold said nothing but he was studying Regina who stood behind Emma but off to the side a bit. Emma still held her hand.

“So she has magic, did it tell you anything else?”

“As I surmised before, it’s not her magic. There is no trace of her own magic in her.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Ok, well how do we get this other magic out of her?”

“Why would we do that?” Gold asked.

“Well …” Emma said looking at Gold. “You said it yourself, you don’t know what this other magic could be doing to her. It seems to me the safest course of action would be to remove it.”

Gold considered her statement for a moment, his head cocked to the side, his eyes on Regina. “Tell me Regina, do you want this magic removed?”

Regina shook her head no, causing Emma to let go of her hand.

“There you have it,” Gold said. “It stays in her. At least until I can figure out the nature of the magic that is. There is nothing I’m sensing that is familiar to me. Luckily, there are other tests I can perform to help pinpoint what it is. It will however take some time so why don’t you leave us here and go be sheriff for a few hours while I see what I can do.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Emma said.

“If you are concerned for her safety, I give you my word she will not be harmed. I do not however need a rank amateur in magic bothering me while I work. It would appear since her majesty doesn’t even remember who she is that I’m already dealing with one child, I don’t need two under foot.”

“Still not leaving,” Emma said crossing her arms in front of her.

“Do you really think he can help?” Regina asked and Emma turned to look at her. “If you think he can, then you can go and I will stay.”

Emma wasn’t sure how to answer that. Could Gold help? It was possible which is why they had come there in the first place. But she also didn’t trust the man and didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with him. The fact Regina was willing to stay after being too afraid to even go to Granny’s meant that she was willing to put aside any uneasiness she may have in order to get answers.

Emma didn’t know if she could in good conscience leave Regina there.

“I will watch over her,” Belle said as she entered the room fully. She had been watching from the doorway and saw Emma’s hesitation in making any decision. “She will be okay, I promise.”

Emma took Regina’s hand. “Are you sure about this?”

“No,” Regina said. “But we need answers.”

Taking a deep breath Emma addressed Gold. “Two hours. That is all you get. And if anything happens to her …”

“Save your threats sheriff,” he said. “As Belle has said, she will be fine. Now if you will excuse us we have work to do.”

Emma pulled Regina aside. “Listen to me, if you feel uncomfortable with anything and I mean anything he does, you tell him to stop and if he doesn’t listen, you tell Belle to make him. He will listen to her. And if you need me, you tell Belle to call me and I will be right back. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Emma let her go and went over to Belle essentially reiterating some of the things she had told Regina before reluctantly leaving. She stopped at the doorway and looked back as Regina again took the seat in the chair. She hoped she was doing the right thing.

….

 

Emma had gone into the station after leaving Regina at Gold’s. She filled her father in on what was happening, but when it came to working she couldn’t concentrate. She kept checking her phone, making sure it was on and the ringer was up. She didn’t want to miss it if Regina or Belle called. She felt uneasy about the whole thing and given Regina’s past with Gold, she didn’t trust Gold. She also felt like she had no choice.

If this magic that was inside Regina was what was causing her to be the way she was now then they needed to know what it was. She couldn’t understand why Regina had been so quick to say she didn’t want it removed. Was this another case of her knowing more than she was saying?

She was at a loss as to how to get the other woman to trust her completely. For every step forward it was another two and sometimes three steps back or so it seemed to her.

She was still frustrated that Regina wouldn’t go into Granny’s with her that morning. Yes, she understood why Regina was nervous, scared even, but the fact Regina wouldn’t do it made Emma feel like she was the one who was failing, or at least that Regina didn’t trust her enough to go with her despite her assurances that it would be fine.

It was also why she wondered why Regina was agreeable to staying behind with Gold. Was her desire to get back to Prydain that strong that she was willing to put herself in the hands of someone who to her at least right now was a stranger in the hopes of getting some answers?

Then there was the matter of actually getting to Prydain and what they would do once there.

After two and half hours of not hearing anything, Emma left the station and headed back to Gold’s. The sign on the door said closed and when Emma tried the door it was locked.

“Shit,” she swore. She began to pound on the door and only released a breath when Belle came rushing out to unlock it.

“Sorry,” Belle said. “We felt it was best to close down while she was here.”

“How is she?”

“She’s fine,” Belle said. “This is the first time I have even left her side. You should know that she is asleep however.”

“Asleep?”

“Yes. She took a sleeping draught so that Rumple could try something to perhaps jolt her memory. He isn’t certain it will work, but from what she said, she doesn’t know how she ended up with this other magic in her and so far he hasn’t been able to determine the nature of it.”

“I want to see her.”

“Of course,” Belle said, leading the way into the back of the shop. There Regina lay, asleep, but presumably ok.

“How long has she been asleep?”

“About 45 minutes.”

Emma wondered if Regina was dreaming. She knew from experience that having a completely restful sleep wasn’t typical for Regina. The nightmares were still happening although not as frequently as before. Still, they shared a bed just in case they should return.

It was one of those things that they didn’t talk about and one which Emma wasn’t ready to completely think through.

“If this works, will she remember everything? I mean her life here and what happened back there?” Emma asked.

“I do not know,” Gold said. “It vexes me to say so, but whatever this magic is, whatever it may or may not be doing to her, it is beyond my knowledge right now. And she is less than helpful.”

“Does she really not remember much from being there?” Belle asked.

“She remembers some stuff, yes, but I don’t think she remembers everything.”

“Your mother said you have been able to see into some of these memories, and that you believe your magic has enabled this to happen,” Gold said. “If this doesn’t work, would you be willing to try your magic again under my supervision.”

The last thing Emma wanted to do was have Gold supervising her magic. She saw how that worked out for Regina. “I don’t even know how I did it,” Emma responded.

“I didn’t figure you did know, hence my supervision.”

“Let’s wait and see if this works first,” Emma said, not wanting to commit to anything. “How much longer until she wakes up?”

“The sleeping draught I gave her should last another few hours at least and then it will be up to her to wake up naturally.”

“A few hours? We didn’t agree to this.”

“No, we didn’t. She did however,” Gold said, nodding in Regina’s direction.

Emma looked to Belle. “He did explain it to her that she would be unconscious for several hours. I even explained it to her and she agreed.”

“She isn’t really in the position to make such a decision,” Emma argued. She should have known Gold would try something like this.

“Whether you like it or not, Regina is an adult and capable of making her own decisions,” Gold said. “Just because you want to treat her like she is some sort of child doesn’t mean the rest of should. Perhaps that is part of her problem, you are coddling her too much.”

“You know what, I knew bringing her here was a mistake,” Emma said. “You really don’t give a damn about anyone do you? You certainly don’t give a damn about her. Wake her up.”

“I can’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“Fine. I won’t.”

“Well, she isn’t staying here,” Emma said. Ignoring Gold, she pulled out her phone to call her dad, thinking he could carry Regina to the car and then into the house.

“Emma,” Belle said, stopping her by putting a hand on her forearm. “I know you have reasons to mistrust what he is doing but I swear to you, he means her no harm. He wants to find out what this magic is and she wants to know as well. This means something to her – what it is, I don’t know, but I’m telling you, I looked in her eyes before she agreed to this and she was resolute. She wants her memories back.”

Emma was torn between letting this play out and her desire to protect Regina, even if it meant protecting her from herself. She put the phone away.

“Have you managed to discover anything in the time she’s been here?”

“Only that whatever the magic is, she doesn’t know how to manifest it. She obviously doesn’t remember any of her magical lessons, but even instinctually she doesn’t appear to know how to get the magic to do anything. I tried a few simple lessons with her – don’t worry, I didn’t push her – but nothing happened. Yet, clearly the magic is there inside of her, it’s just a matter of unlocking it.”

Emma didn’t like the idea of this unknown magic manifesting itself at all, but she supposed if it did it might give them a clue as to what it is.

“Unless you wish to watch her sleep for the next few hours, I suggest you get back to work sheriff. Belle will call you the moment she awakens. Perhaps then we might have something to work with,” Gold said.

“The minute she wakes,” she said pointing at him. He only nodded in return and she turned and left, feeling anger still. Despite not wanting the responsibility of caring for Regina, she found she now felt like she was being kicked out of the process of actually helping her. She knew she should feel happy if this worked but a part of her wished it didn’t involve Gold.

Going back to the office Emma felt a little selfish about the whole encounter as she thought about it. Gold was right, Regina was an adult and maybe she was being too hands on with her. But Emma feared that if she wasn’t, not only would Regina never leave the house ever, but she would also disappear one day without so much as a goodbye – off to Prydain on her own to destroy some stupid cauldron.

Although they had agreed to do this together, there was still a bit of that built up distrust of Regina and her motives. It was why she now had a GPS tracker installed on Regina’s phone so that she could track her and why she had city workers go out to the well and make the barriers more secure. It wouldn’t stop Regina from getting to the well if she tried, but maybe it would slow her down a bit more.

She got back to the office and her father asked her why she was back so soon and she explained what happened.

“You know Belle won’t let anything happen to her,” he assured her. He had said something similar to her the first time. “This could be a good thing.”

“How often does the word good and Gold go together?” she shot back. Yes, she was still feeling some residual anger.

“Not often,” Charming conceded. “But if we are going to travel to another land we need all the information and help we can get.”

She knew he was right, but she didn’t feel like acknowledging it. Instead she began to concentrate on work – it went about as well as it had earlier and as the hours passed she became more restless. She ended up calling Belle for an update even though the only update was that Regina remained asleep.

At this point Emma thought, Regina would be up all night.

When her phone rang about 45 minutes later she nearly jumped out of her chair as she answered it.

“She’s awake,” Belle said.

“Did it work? Does she remember?” Emma asked even as she was putting on her jacket to rush out.


	22. Chapter 22

Emma got to the shop in record time after Belle had given her some very vague answers. She entered to find Regina standing there with Gold and Belle in the midst of conversation.

“So do we have a deal?” Gold was saying.

 “No!” Emma said rushing up to them. “You aren’t making any deals with her.” She stood in front of Gold, pulling Regina behind her slightly.

“We weren’t making that kind of deal,” Gold pointed out.

“I don’t think you know how to make any other deal,” Emma said. “And I will not let you take advantage of her.”

“It’s not what you think,” Belle said. “It worked, sort of, Regina remembered something from before – from her life in the Enchanted Forest.”

Emma looked over at Regina. “Is this true?”

Regina shrugged.

“It wasn’t a good memory,” Belle said quietly.

“Regina would like to continue to try and regain her memories,” Gold said. “I have agreed to assist in this matter and in getting her returned to Prydain. She has agreed to let me continue to study the nature of this magic inside of her.”

“No,” Emma said. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s not your decision to make,” Gold said. “Regina is an adult. She is capable of making her own decisions. She doesn’t need you.”

“Yes she does because she doesn’t remember who you are. She doesn’t remember the things you have done to her personally. If she remembered who she was she sure as hell wouldn’t be here right now.”

“But I don’t remember who I am,” Regina said. “I don’t really know any of you, but I’m at your mercy at this point and I have questions that I need the answer to. For instance, how did the magic take me there in the first place?”

“Specifically, I do not know. I was not there when you entered the well,” Gold said. “When you returned here and it became known you had been in a different world, I surmised that the amount of magic you absorbed from Pan’s curse in conjunction with your own was powerful enough to push you into that other world. The different realms are not hard to get to if you have the magic to open the doors.”

“Then in order to return here it would have also had to involve a lot of magic?” she asked.

“Not necessarily a lot. It depends. Each realm is different. This one here does not have magic like the Enchanted Forest does so it took a powerful magic to get us all here. But the barrier between Prydain and this world may not need as much magic to accomplish the same task. Plus there could already be an existing doorway between the two worlds which you could have passed through.”

“The well,” Regina said.

“Possibly,” Gold said. “Perhaps we could discuss this more tomorrow. Sheriff you can drop her off tomorrow morning.”

Emma wanted badly to tell Gold to stick it up his ass, but for now she had a bigger issue to deal with. She directed Regina outside and as they got into the car she lit into her.

“What the hell was that in there?” Emma asked. “From the moment you got back, who has been here with you? Me. I have even offered to leave this world and go with you to Prydain to help you in this quest or whatever you want to call it. So I don’t appreciate you saying things like ‘I don’t really know any of you.’ You know me. I don’t care if you can remember me or not, you know me.”

“I don’t understand,” Regina said. “Why are you so angry?”

“No, I don’t suppose you do understand,” Emma said started the car and heading home. They didn’t speak the entire time there and Emma dropped Regina off, telling her she needed to go back to work and would be home late.

….

Regina ate dinner in silence with Henry. She kept looking over at the seat where Emma would normally sit.

“Can I ask you something?” she said finally as she cleared their plates and Henry was about to leave the room.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Emma is upset with me and I don’t understand why.”

“Is that why she wasn’t here for dinner?”

Regina nodded.

Henry sat back down. “So what happened?”

Regina explained as best as she could without tipping Henry off about the plan to return to Prydain.

“What did I do wrong?” she asked when finished.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Henry said.

“Then why is she mad at me?”

“I don’t think she is mad. She just gets frustrated sometimes. She really wants to help you,” Henry said. “She can’t do that if you won’t let her in.”

Regina thought about it a moment. “It’s hard for me,” she said. “I don’t feel like I’m fully part of this world. Today, when I was in that place with Mr. Gold, I did remember something. It was, Belle said it took place in the Enchanted Forest, all I know is that there was a woman and she used magic against me. I didn’t like how the memory made me feel. Emma once called me the Evil Queen and now I have to wonder if I was like this other woman I saw in my memory. I don’t know, I have all these thoughts in my head, thoughts I shouldn’t probably be discussing with you.”

“Maybe you could talk to Emma about it,” Henry said. “I think she would appreciate it if you talked to her more.”

“Maybe.”

….

Emma came home late on purpose – late enough to ensure that Regina and Henry were in bed. She had eaten dinner at Granny’s and then spent the rest of her evening at her parents.

She had texted back and forth with Henry who told her about the conversation that he had with his other mother.

She didn’t really have a good explanation for him about why she had gone off on Regina in the car except she was frustrated with her. Her single-minded obsession to return to Prydain which led her to seek help from Gold of all people bothered her. Yes she had agreed to take Regina to Gold but she had also promised Regina she would help her, so why had Gold suddenly become more important? And then there was the matter that she still felt like Regina was holding out on her, that she was hiding knowledge.

Now she was walking in to the darkened house to ensure that she wouldn’t have to deal with Regina, at least not tonight. This time she went straight to the guest room. She hadn’t really slept there much – spending most of her nights in the bedroom with Regina.

She changed clothes and went immediately to bed, but sleep was not coming easily. Emma was still awake when the first scream came from Regina’s room. It had been a while since a full-throated scream had shattered the calm of the night, but Emma was on her feet and rushing in to the room. Her eyes went to the bed, but there was no one in it. Regina was instead lying on the floor, or rather had been. Now she was sitting up, breathing hard. Emma hurried to her side, kneeling down beside her but she hesitated before touching her, wondering if the magic would again ignite. It didn’t though as she put a comforting hand on her arm.

“It’s just a dream. You are here at home, you are safe,” Emma said.

“Mom?”

Emma looked up to see Henry in the doorway. It was a loud scream for him to have waken and ever since those first couple of times he had let her handle it without getting up and she wondered if he was up now because he wasn’t sure she was even home.

“I got this,” she said to him. “She’s fine.”

Henry closed the door behind him and Emma turned her attention back to Regina. It took a while before Regina calmed down and Emma waited there at her side. When it was clear that she was ok, Emma stood up, offering her a hand. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

Regina took the hand and Emma helped her up and onto the bed. She then went around to her side and got on as well. Regina was sitting up however and so Emma sat there waiting for some indication from her that she was either going to lie down and sleep or stay up for a while.

“I didn’t want any part of it,” Regina said softly. “The cauldron, I didn’t want to be the one who was supposed to destroy it or restore it.”

This wasn’t anything that Emma didn’t already know, but even as Regina paused she didn’t interrupt, hoping Regina would continue to speak to her.

“I only wanted to get back here to Henry,” she continued. “I didn’t care about that world or its problems. Then I was taken to Silas’ castle and I could have done it – reactivated it and then walked away, but I didn’t. I resisted and I paid the price for it. Why did I do that?”

“Because you knew it was the right thing to do,” Emma said. “You knew you couldn’t let Silas gain control of it so you fought him. You are a fighter Regina. You are a survivor.”

“But in the end, I gave up,” she said. “I failed.”

“Hey, you haven’t failed. We’re going to go back and we’re going to fix this,” Emma said. “Together.”

Regina didn’t say anything else as she settled down onto the bed. Emma followed suit but she didn’t close her eyes or turn on her side because she could tell Regina wasn’t trying to sleep. So she laid there on her back staring at the ceiling and waiting.

“You know maybe we should take a break,” Emma said.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we have both been stressing ourselves out a bit lately,” Emma said. “You know with the whole trying to get back to Prydain thing, maybe we need to take a small break. Spend a couple of days just chillin – not worrying about any of this other stuff. Give our minds a break. How does that sound?”

“I need to get back there.”

Emma sighed, “I know. Forget I said anything.” She was about to turn over on her side when Regina spoke again.

“Maybe you are right and a break would be a good idea,” Regina said.

“Yeah?”

“Yes,”

“Good.”

Emma smiled. Already she felt a little lighter.

In the darkness she reached out and took Emma’s hand and that is how the two women went to sleep.

…..

For the next two days they slept in late, watched movies and played video games with Henry, ate food that Regina prepared and in general did nothing and Emma loved it. It was nice for Emma to see Regina be relaxed and not stressed. To see Regina joking around with Henry and laughing made Emma see another side of Regina – a side she was sure she would never have gotten to see if this hadn’t happened to her.

It made her sad to think that it took this for her and Regina to become close.

For two days Regina didn’t mention Prydain, she didn’t draw in her books and she didn’t wake from any nightmares.

But the two days went by too quickly and while Emma wasn’t happy about it, she dropped Regina off at Gold’s the next morning and the morning after that, and the morning after that. Whatever Gold was doing, it didn’t seem to be working as Regina hadn’t remembered anything else and he was no closer to figuring out this new magic.

And it was like the two days they had enjoyed had never happened as Regina became refocused on her mission.

They hadn’t spoken about the things that Regina had remembered as she went into another one of her silent modes and Emma had been uncommonly busy at work as there had a been a rash of break ins around town. It had been odd because nothing of major value was taken. At one house it was some clothes – men’s shoes, a jacket and a pair of jeans. At another place it had been a couple of shirts and some food. Then there was a break in at city hall where a bunch of files had been rummaged through but it was all in such disarray no one could tell her if anything was missing.

That night she got home late again and she had gone straight to the kitchen where she found a plate of food in the fridge waiting for her to heat it up. Regina certainly made sure that she didn’t want for a meal.

She took her time eating, thinking about the break ins and why anyone would steal such items or even bother breaking into city hall. She had gotten a call later in the day to say it looked as if a town map was missing and even then there wasn’t any surety that it was missing.

When finished she cleaned her plate and before heading upstairs she went to check if Regina was in her office.

“Hey,” she said as she entered to find Regina at her desk as usual. “I just wanted to let you know I was home and I was going to head to bed. How did things go at Gold’s today?”

She hadn’t gotten the chance to pick her up and Belle had actually dropped Regina back off at home.

“Still nothing,” Regina said. “He’s going to try something similar to the first time – where I will be asleep for a long time tomorrow. That has been the only thing that has come close to working.”

Emma took a seat in the chair in front of the desk. “What was it that you remembered exactly from that first time?”

“My mother,” Regina said. “Or so Gold tells me, it was my mother. She apparently liked to use her magic on me for disciplinary reasons and what I remembered was one of those instances. I don’t even know what it was that I did wrong.”

“Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong,” Emma offered. “Maybe your mother was just not a good person.”

Regina shrugged. “As I was not a good person before. I was the Evil Queen, whatever that means.”

“It doesn’t mean anything to me,” Emma said. “She is not who you are now and she isn’t the person you were before you disappeared into Prydain. I should never have even made reference to her. I’m sorry for that.”

Regina looked off to the side, toward one of bookshelves, before turning her attention back to Emma.

“When I first woke in Prydain and spoke with Taren, when he first showed me that book that foretold my coming there, I asked him if he had any idea who I was beyond what was written there and he responded with the question back to me – did I know who I was. I didn’t understand then what he meant by that,” she said. “Even though I don’t remember who I was now, I don’t think I needed to in order to answer that question.”

“What do you mean?”

“He always said it would my choice – my choice to activate or destroy the cauldron. It couldn’t be any other person’s choice but my own. When he asked me, I think he was saying that I wouldn’t know who I was until I made my choice.”

“One choice doesn’t define who you are,” Emma said. “And you wouldn’t have activated the cauldron unless you felt you absolutely had no choice.”

“I did have a choice though,” she said.

“Look, you have said yourself you don’t remember what happened right after you think you activated it, so until we get to Prydain and see some army of the dead, I’m not convinced you did what you think you did,” Emma said. “The more I think about it, the more I keep coming back to that man who tried to come in here and take you. He was trying to take you back. Why? That was clearly one of Silas’ men, so if you activated the cauldron, gave him what he wanted, why send someone here to get you? It doesn’t make sense. You still have something he wants.”

“But no one has been sent here since then.”

“True,” Emma said. Even as she said it, she paused afterward to think. The break ins. The man who had come here before was wearing the clothing of Prydain – the clothing of one of Silas’ men. Nothing but clothing had been stolen from here so far, except the map – a plat map. That map would show who owns what property in town. It would show that Regina owned this place.

Yet, the first man didn’t need anything like that to track Regina here. Perhaps she was just jumping to conclusions.

“Emma?” Hearing her name Emma realized she had spaced out while she thought.

“Sorry,” Emma said. “I guess I’m more tired than I thought. What about you, are you ready for bed?”

“Yes,” she said, closing the sketchbook she had been working on when Emma had come in. They turned off the lights downstairs and Emma also double checked that the doors were locked before going upstairs. While Regina was changing, Emma spoke with Henry, telling him to make sure he slept without the headphones on. When he asked why, Emma told him a half-truth, that there had been some break-ins around town and while none were near here she thought it best if they all stayed alert.

She returned to the bedroom and changed her own clothes before getting into bed next to Regina. Instead of putting her gun in the drawer of the bedstand, she placed it on top. A healthy dose of paranoia was settling in her mind now that she had thought about the possible connection to the break ins and someone coming for Regina. While she knew there was a fairly good chance she was wrong, she wasn’t willing to risk Regina’s safety on it until she knew for sure.

That night she was the one who didn’t sleep well. She kept tossing and turning as she couldn’t get to sleep with every noise the house would make or her mind had imagined practically had her jumping from bed ready to defend against any attackers.

“What’s wrong?” Regina finally asked. Emma had thought she was asleep, and perhaps she was but Emma’s movements had awoken her.

“Nothing,” Emma said. “Just can’t seem to get comfortable to sleep.”

She heard Regina moving and she could make out Regina repositioning herself so she was lying on her side facing Emma, who took up a position to mirror hers.

“What’s wrong?” Regina asked again. “It would appear, I do know you and you’ve been acting odd since we spoke down stairs.”

Emma smiled, not able to help herself at the admission that Regina made. “It really isn’t anything but my mind unable to stop thinking.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Mostly about how I need to keep you safe.”

“I am safe,” Regina said. “At least, you make me feel safe. When you are here with me, I don’t fear the things that my mind shows me when I’m sleeping. I know they are only dreams because when I wake you are here and you remind me that I’m here too, that I’m home and I’m safe. I don’t think you know what that means to me, to feel, to know that when you are here I don’t need to fear.”

Regina reached out and placed her hand on top of Emma’s, but she didn’t let it rest there. Instead she dragged it slowly up Emma’s arm, causing goose bumps to rise from her flesh. Her hand came to a rest partly on Emma’s cheek.

The two women were staring at each other in the darkness and Emma wasn’t sure why in that moment, but she scooted closer to Regina who also did the same so that their legs were also now touching.

“You don’t need to worry about keeping me safe,” Regina whispered. “As long as you are with me, I will be.”

Both women closed the distance between them as if both were being pulled by an invisible force. Their lips met and Emma kissed her gently, accepting the small kisses Regina returned. They continued to slowly kiss until they both sensed it was time to stop. Regina turned around in bed, snuggling her back up against Emma, who put her arm around her and while her mind should probably have been full of thoughts at this moment she felt relaxed and was able to find sleep.

….

The next morning, even though they woke still next to each other, neither woman said a word about the kissing. They got up and began their morning routines, practically ignoring each other although when one wasn’t paying attention, the other would take that time to stare at the other as if studying them for the right thing to say.

Both remained quiet as Emma dropped her off at Gold’s. Emma had gone inside with her, as was her routine, but this time she stayed a little longer than usual, asking Gold more questions about what he was doing, how this differed from the first time and how long she would be asleep. When Regina settled down to sleep, Emma stayed while she drank the sleeping draught and remained until Regina was fully unconscious.

After what Regina had said last night about feeling safe with Emma being with her, Emma wanted to make sure that she was the last person she saw before going to sleep.

Belle promised to call her when Regina woke and it was only then that Emma left.

Her father wasn’t working today, but she called him and she spoke to him about her theory and they drove out to the well to see if anything had been disturbed. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary but it didn’t mean that someone couldn’t have been really good about covering their tracks either. Her father agreed that it could be a long shot to even connect the two events which made Emma feel a little less concerned.

It was late in the day and Emma was getting hungry and wondering what they should do for dinner with Regina being asleep all day. She had stopped by the shop around 1 p.m. even though she knew Regina wasn’t awake. Still, she felt better for checking on her. She had stood there watching Regina sleep in what she hoped was a non-creepy way until Gold cleared his throat and suggested she come back when Regina was actually awake. Even while she left she thought about how peaceful Regina looked sleeping there. Nights when Regina wasn’t having nightmares she still didn’t sleep as peaceful as she looked there. Of course the potion-induced sleep was practically a coma.

She decided to go home and pick up Henry, grab a bite at Granny’s and get something to go for Regina to eat when she woke. As she was leaving the office her phone rang, and she knew she’d not be going home but to pick up Regina as she saw Belle’s number come up.

The chiming of the door as she entered didn’t make any of the three people – Belle, Gold or Regina – look at her. The three were standing there and Emma was already studying Regina. There was something slightly off about her – a squaring of the shoulders that she normally didn’t do, atleast not since she had been back. And she had been looking Gold straight in the eyes. Regina normally didn’t make direct eye contact with people or atleast not hold it for very long.

Belle had warned her on the phone that it had been another day of disappointment as Regina had not remembered anything upon waking although she did seem more disoriented this time when she did wake up.

Still there was something off about all of this Emma thought even as Regina stepped away from the others and came toward her.

“You ready to go?” Emma asked, and Regina nodded yes. Again Emma noted that Regina at least made eye contact with her when she did it.

They got into the car, Emma continuing to study Regina from the way she walked to the way she buckled her seat belt. There was definitely a change – a subtle change and it might not be anything others would be able to tell but Emma would be able to tell.

The changes, despite how subtle they were, made Emma think of only one thing.

“Do you remember?”

Regina kept her eyes forward. “Now if I did, why would I tell you Miss Swan?”

Emma caught a faint smile on Regina’s lips.

“Fair enough. Maybe you will feel in a more talkative mood after we eat. I know I for one am starving.”

“You are always starving. At least I know where Henry gets it.”

“Granny’s then?”

“No,” Regina said. “Not with this hair. Really, you couldn’t convince me to go to my stylist.”

“You wouldn’t leave the fucking house,” Emma said, as she steered the car toward home.

“Only because you weren’t persuasive enough,” Regina said. “Now let’s get home. I’d like to see my son.”

“He’ll be glad to see you too. I mean, the real you.”

“How was he? When I was gone?”

“It was rough at the beginning. He didn’t want to leave the house because he was sure that you would pop back in at any minute. Then slowly he gave up. I don’t think he ever truly gave up, but he did lose hope. If you don’t count that little fight at school that got him suspended for a day there wasn’t much …”

“What fight? Suspension? Henry would never. What have you done to my son?”

“Would you chill for a second? It was one small incident at school. He got into a fight because some kid was talking shit about the Evil Queen. He got into a fight defending your honor.”

This time there was a fuller smile on Regina’s face.

“While I appreciate his reasoning, he still shouldn’t have done it. Did you ground him?”

“No, I took him out for ice cream,” Emma said. “Of course I grounded him.”

“Good.”

“Why didn’t you tell Gold the truth that you could remember?”

“I don’t trust him, but I need him.”

“Need him for what?”

“To get back to Prydain.”

….

Regina and Henry spent the entire evening together. Regina cooked dinner and after they ate they watched a movie. Emma stayed in the background watching them. Henry was overjoyed when Regina told him that he remembered him. Gone was that tension of not remembering her own son, and Emma couldn’t help but smile at how happy mother and son were.

When Henry went to bed Emma joined Regina in her office ready to speak to her about all that happened and why she thought going back to Prydain was still a good idea. Regina was at her desk looking through her sketchbook.

“You have talent,” Emma said. “Did you have this ability before your trip to Prydain or did you end up with that along with this mysterious magic?”

“The magic isn’t mysterious. I know exactly what it is.”

“Care to fill me in?”

“Shouldn’t you be getting to your own home?” Regina asked as she stopped on a page with a drawing of Taren.

“My own home?”

“Yes. You do live across town and it’s getting late.”

“Seriously?”

“You know I’ve got my full faculties back so you don’t need to speak in such short sentences.”

“Ok, then Miss full faculties why don’t you tell me what the hell is going on then.”

“That is no longer your problem Miss Swan,” Regina said. “I appreciate your help while I was … injured, and any expenses that you or your parents incurred I will gladly pay for. Now I think it’s best if you return to your own home.”

“Regina …”

“Miss Swan.”

They stared at each other for a moment and then Emma left in frustration.

Once Emma left Regina turned her attention back to the sketchbook and the drawing of Taren. She let her finger trace the lines of his face.

 

_When she woke the next morning she was stiff but there was Taren sitting there apparently waiting for to wake._

_“We need to get moving,” he said._

_“Where are we going, back to your farm?” she asked as she began to stretch._

_“No. We have a couple of other places to visit first.”_

_“I take it you won’t be explaining where as normal?”_

_“I will when we get there, now come on.”_

_She got the bedroll tied back up and on the horse. He gave her some dried meat to eat for breakfast and water and then they were off._

_“Where are the fairies?” she asked as they started on their way._

_“Back at their home,” Taren said. “Hopefully where we will end up tonight if we don’t get held up.”_

_They set off walking,_ _Regina_ _holding onto the reins as they went._

_“Where are we going?”_

_“Let me tell you a story. After the cauldron ended up in the hands of the witches, they hid it away in hopes of it never falling into the wrong hands again. The witches – there were three of them – were an interesting group of women. Each had their own distinctive personalities and powers, but they worked the best when they combined their magic together. It was like they found the perfect way to meld their magic.”_

_“Melding magic isn’t something you should do lightly so they were clearly skilled,”_ _Regina_ _commented._

_“Have you ever done it – melded your magic with another’s?”_

_Regina_ _thought back to Neverland to using her magic in conjunction with Emma. The blonde was not nuanced enough in magic to understand, but the only reason it worked was because their magic melded._ _Regina_ _had recognized it from the beginning of their magic working in concert. She felt Emma’s magic weave in to hers seamlessly._

_Regina_ _hadn’t been trying to meld her magic with Emma’s it had just happened naturally._

_“Yes,” she said._

_When she didn’t offer up details he continued on._

_“As I told you before, I believe that magic never truly disappears. It can take a different form. When the witches worked together their separate magic was still magic but in another form. If we apply that to the black cauldron then the magic is not gone, which means the cauldron can still work. I think the witches knew this which is why they took the cauldron when anyone else would have thought it was useless,” Taren said. “Lord Silas knew of my work, encouraged it, encouraged me to prove my theory by finding the black cauldron. He gave me the resources I needed to prove my theory. It led me to this place here.”_

_“Here?”_

_“Yes, here, a place no one would come except a stubborn woman.”_

_Regina_ _laughed. She couldn’t help it. As much as Taren aggravated her, she had to admit that he was growing on her. “Alright, so the witches hid the cauldron here and you found it and Lord Silas took it to his castle up north and you went on a quest to stop him from getting the cauldron working.”_

_“You can add impatient to stubborn,” Taren said. “Now can I continue?”_

_“Yes please continue.”_

_“Now I never said the cauldron was here, only that my theory led me here. Come on, we need to head a little more to the east,” he said, adjusting their route. “In my studies I learned of an old crone who supposedly lived here in the swamp who had the ability to see things beyond the norm. The stories said she was once a beautiful young girl who was born with this gift which quickly became a curse. People would flock to her in order to ask her all kinds of questions from those wishing to find their true loves to those wanting to know their destinies. It became too much for her and she fled, eventually ending up here knowing few would come knocking at her door. Her story became something of a myth and people no longer believed it to be anything but a fantastical story. Still, some sought her counsel and would come here. When I did, it had been years since she had seen another person.”_

_They were weaving in and out of an area of thicker tree coverage as he told this story and_ _Regina_ _was becoming increasingly anxious. She didn’t care for seers. While many found them to be useful she thought they were individuals to be wary of. Even in her hunt for Snow White she wouldn’t use seers because what a seer told you was not always what you thought it to be. They used riddles or answers that could have many meanings._

_“When I came here the first time she shut her door to me. On the second, the third, even the twentieth time she shut her door to me,” Taren said. “While I hadn’t been living on the farm at the time, our family did own it but it hadn’t been lived in for several years. I gained permission from my uncle, who had the rights to it, to stay there. For seven months I would come out here every few days to inquire if the seer would speak to me. After being refused so many times she finally let me into her home. That first day, she didn’t ask me what I wanted, merely asked me for news from the outside world. We talked that first day for hours and then I left. And that is how it went for months and months. I would come here, we would talk and I would leave.”_

_“Why not ask her what you wanted to know and be done with it?”_

_“Before I came here I was under belief that magic was this mystical force that was a desirable thing. It was my journeys here that taught me that magic could be a curse for those whose lives are intertwined with it,” he said, not offering up any further explanation. “Besides, she was a seer, I figured she knew why I was there and when she was ready to speak of it, she would. I admit when she finally did, it caught me off guard. She started off with warning me that my quest for the cauldron would eventually lead to my death, but that death would be years and years in the future and I would know the end would be coming when a queen from another land appeared.”_

_He glanced over at her, his expression thoughtful but not sad._

_“That was all she said that first time about it,” he continued. “Our little dance continued after that – some days she would speak to me of the cauldron and other days we would merely talk. She hates that she has this ability. She wishes … well she wishes she could have had a normal life. It wasn’t possible for her though. Even when she first ran away and tried to settle elsewhere her power to see what others couldn’t would manifest whether she wanted it to or not. I wasn’t the first person she had foretold of their death and as you can imagine not everyone took it as well as I did.”_

_“She didn’t ask for this to be her life,” he said and_ _Regina_ _detected a slight hint of bitterness. “As time went by she told me more and more about what I needed to know about the where to find the cauldron.”_

_“Wait, didn’t this seer tell you what Silas was up to?”_

_“No, at least not in direct terms.”_

_“Figures.”_

_Taren didn’t say anything in response but_ _Regina_ _could practically see him biting his tongue._

_“Once I had enough clues to find the cauldron I left in search of it,” Taren said. “I was accompanied by Lord Silas’ men and as I’m sure you have already guessed, once I found it, they took possession of it.”_

_This time it was Regina holding her tongue even though she knew Taren was glossing over much about finding the cauldron and more importantly his interactions with this Silas._

_“So if the cauldron is in Silas’ possession why are we here?”_

_“To see the seer.”_

_Regina_ _stopped walking, forcing Taren to stop._

_“Why?”_

_“She requested that I bring you to see her.”_

_“What? Why? There is no reason for me to see this person.”_

_“She says it is important you meet with her.”_

_“I don’t care what she says,”_ _Regina_ _said and she tugged on the reins to turn the horse around. “I’m not interested in what any seer has to say.”_

_She managed to get the horse turned around and started walking._

_“She said you would be resistant to this meeting.”_

_“Congratulations she sounds like she is spot on with her insights.”_

_“I’ve never known her to be wrong,” he said._

_“I don’t care.”_

_“She could tell you how Henry is?”_

_She stopped in her tracks, looking up at the grey sky and cursing under her breath before turning back around to follow him. “I hate you,” she said._

 

Sitting in her office Regina flipped the sketchbook to an empty page. She began to outline a new drawing, hoping it would keep her mind off of remembering her visit with the seer.

It wasn’t what she had to say about Henry that had bothered her. It was what she said about Emma.


	23. Chapter 23

Emma was tired.

  
She hadn’t slept well in the last week. Most nights she spent trying to find some comfortable sleeping position to get in. And when she wasn’t doing that she was trying to figure out why Regina suddenly wanted nothing to do with her.

Well that wasn’t really that much of a mystery.

Regina, who was now in full possession of her memories, no longer had need for Emma to keep an eye on her. In fact she appeared to have no need for anything from anyone – short of a hair cut. She had gotten one the very next day after getting her memories back and that was pretty much the last time anyone had seen her outside of her house. 

Emma couldn’t help but find it a little ironic that she couldn’t get Regina out of the house when she had no idea who she was and now Regina had her full faculties and she still didn’t want to leave the house.

Henry was her only insight into what was going on and Regina was apparently being tightlipped around him as well. She had assured him – repeatedly – that she was fine. He had doubts.

It wasn’t as if Emma hadn’t tried to talk to Regina but she had gotten rebuffed. She had showed up at the mansion the night after she had been dismissed and as soon as

Regina had answered the door – sporting her new hair cut – she had held her hand out to Emma.

“I believe you have a key to this house that belongs to me, Miss Swan,” Regina said. 

It was not how Emma expected the conversation to start.

Emma pulled out her key ring and took the house key off of it and put it in Regina’s hand.

“Thank you,” Regina said.

“You’re welcome, now can I come in?”

“Of course,” she replied moving out of the way. “I packed up your things, they are there in the hall. I assume that is why you stopped by.”

Emma saw her bag and what she guessed was a bag that Regina supplied sitting there. 

“Thanks but that is not why I stopped by,” Emma said. “I think we should talk about what happened.”

“What specifically?”

“How about how you are planning to go back to Prydain,” Emma said. “That is still your plan right? I mean you did say that after you got all your memories back. I told you I’m with you on this.”

Regina kept her eyes on the floor in front of her. “You said that because you thought me incapable of doing it myself. I am no longer incapable so consider our bargain off.”

“I don’t care if you have your memories back or not, I’m not going to let you do this by yourself. So why don’t you start by telling me the whole story about what happened back there.”

“It’s no longer your concern,” Regina said. Again she kept her eyes anywhere but on Emma. “I had money to cover your estimated expenses put into your account today. If I have shorted you in any way let me know. The same for your parents’ account. Now if you will excuse me I have things to attend to. See yourself out.”

Regina began to walk away and had made it about five feet away when Emma said, “Maybe if you don’t want to talk about Prydain, we should talk about that kiss.”  
This time Regina looked up at the ceiling before coming up to Emma. “Henry is home so please lower your voice,” Regina said. “As for that … incident, there is nothing to talk about. You took advantage of me while I was mentally diminished. But lucky for you I’m willing to overlook your transgression this time as long as you leave my house now.”

“I took advantage of you? Are you joking?”

“I am not.”

“And all those times you were climbing into bed with me, what about those incidents?”

“Like I said, I was mentally …”

“Diminished, yeah I got it. Come on, you can’t tell me you want to go back to the ways things were between us, where we were at odds. Even before you disappeared you and I had started to at least find some common ground with Henry,” Emma said. “I thought we were building some trust here.”

“Good night Miss Swan.”

Regina turned without another word and walked out. Emma thought about going after her but instead she grabbed the bags and left. 

Ever since then Emma had been waiting – waiting for another chance to talk to Regina or more likely waiting for Regina to make her move. If she was serious about still returning to Prydain then Emma was sure she would head to the well. Lucky for her she had installed a GPS tracker on Regina’s phone, which the other woman had apparently not discovered yet.

She would be damned if she was going to let Regina do this on her own.  
…  
  
Regina finished the sketch she had been working on for the past two days. Sitting back in the chair she examined her work. It was a sketch of Lord Silas as she had first seen him when she was brought to his castle. He had been smiling at her like he had just gotten his favorite Christmas present and in a way she guessed he had. 

He had tried being charming to her in the beginning although she never even thought about it. By the time Silas’ men had brought her there she had already begun to form an opinion of this man and meeting him only reinforced those thoughts. She couldn’t help but see a part of herself in him however, the part that was the Evil Queen who would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. 

Still, she had listened to him – heard him out about what he wanted and she knew she couldn’t help him in his goals. Yet, the prospect of this cauldron that could bring people back to life intrigued her. 

She couldn’t help but wonder about such power in light of Daniel. Even Taren’s warnings weren’t enough for her totally discount the idea that this had been what she had been looking for. 

But it was too late for Daniel.

Regina turned the page, no longer wanting to see Silas’ face. She flipped back through the sketchbook seeing the other drawings she had finished. She stopped at one of them – it was of the seer’s home.  
  
 _“She better be able to tell me something about Henry,” Regina said._

_They had been traveling for more than two hours and Regina was getting frustrated. Despite sleeping next to a fire all night she felt like there was a permanent chill trapped inside her body and continuing to walk through this swamp wasn’t helping. And Taren saying that this place wasn’t far was clearly fiction._

_“I understand that you are worried about your son,” he said. “I am sure if she can tell you something she will.”_

_“Again, she better be able to,” Regina said._

_“Well we will soon find out,” Taren said as he pointed through some trees. If Taren hadn’t pointed it out to her she probably wouldn’t have noticed it as it blended into the background so well. She wondered how Taren ever found it, much less had the wherewithal to keep going back and forth during his visits with her._

_This man was very much a mystery._

_They approached the cottage and Taren slowed up. “There is something else I should tell you about Celine,” he said. “She may not be what you expect as far as her looks go.”_

_“What, does she have a third eye or something?”_

_“No. Celine has been here for years. When I first came here I was still a younger man. She is older than me.”_

_“Ok, so she is old. So what?”_

_“She doesn’t look older. She looks exactly the same as she did the first time I met her.”_

_“How is that possible?”_

_“I do not know. She considers it part of the curse that has made her life what it is in the first place.”_

_Regina stopped him. “Do you mean an actual curse?”_

_“She has never gotten into specifics about it, but I assumed she was not meaning a real curse.”_

_“It is certainly no curse I have ever heard of,” she said. “Is there anything else that I should know before we speak with her?”_

_“Nothing that I can think of,” he said giving her a smile._

_They tied the horse up and Regina followed Taren up to the door._

_“Wait,” Regina said grabbing his wrist as he was getting ready to knock on the door. “How much do you trust this woman?”_

_“I trust her with my life.”_

_She let go and Taren made ready to knock on the door, but instead it opened from inside._

_“Are you two coming in or not?”_

_Even having been warned Regina was still surprised to see the young woman standing there. She couldn’t be more than 20 based on her looks but her eyes, her eyes had years of wisdom behind them._

_“Come in Regina,” Celine said when she continued to stand there even after Taren entered._

_Regina entered and Celine shut the door behind her. She followed the seer into the cottage which was nearly as small as Taren’s. She noticed Taren had already taken off his_ _cloak and was pouring some sort of drink into cups before placing them on the table. There was a familiarity to it – like he had done this dozens of times before._

_When Celine approached him Regina watched as Celine put a hand on his forearm briefly – a move that definitely spoke of familiarity._

_“Won’t you take a seat?” Celine said to her as she took her own seat and Taren sat in the chair next to her._

_She took a seat across from them but remained silent and didn’t touch the drink that was set before her. She was still wearing her cloak and she had no desire to remain there longer than absolutely necessary. Celine was watching her, studying her and Regina met her look so she would know that she wouldn’t be intimidated._

_“Your son is safe,” Celine said without preamble._

_“Of course he is,” she said. “I did not doubt that.”_

_Celine smiled at her. “You are a mother. All mothers worry.”_

_“Do you expect me to believe that you can see across worlds and know that my son is ok?”_

_“I don’t expect you will believe anything I have to say,” Celine said. “Not yet at least. You will come to believe it though. Of that I am sure.”_

_“How are you so sure?”_

_“Because I am never wrong. I wish I was but I never am. But like I said, you won’t believe me, not yet.”_

_“And when am I supposed to come to this epiphany that you are indeed right?”_

_Celine reached across the table quickly and put her hand over Regina’s. “Not believing something doesn’t make it any less true. You know this, yet you think if you can convince yourself that this here, you being here is a momentary thing that none of this matters to you. You think because you don’t believe that your coming here was foretold that the choice you have to make won’t have to be made, but I assure you it does and you are the only one who can make it.”_

_Regina pulled her hand away while standing up. “Are we done here?” she asked Taren._

_“Regina. Sit down.” The authoritative way in which Taren said it gave her pause but she didn’t move to retake the seat. “Please. What she has to say to you is important. I’m asking you to trust me.”_

_Pulling the chair out she sat down several inches from the table and crossed her legs and arms._

_“You are going to lose yourself,” Celine said to her. “Before all of this ends you will lose yourself.”_

_Rolling her eyes, Regina asked, “What is that supposed to mean?”_

_“Surely the woman once called the Evil Queen knows what it is like to feel lost,” Celine said. “It won’t be like that again though. You will return to your world. You will see your son again. But you won’t be you.”_

_“You know one of the reasons I dislike your kind is because you speak in riddles. So if you indeed have something to say to me, come out and say it.”_

_“That is one of the reasons, what are the others?”_

_Regina got the distinct impression this woman was playing with her. She would find she was not someone to play around with. But she remained silent. If this seer really wanted to speak to her she could do so, but it didn’t mean that Regina had to interact with her._

_Celine gave her another smile as if she knew what Regina was thinking. It was eerily similar to how Taren was with her when she first arrived – like he knew more about her than he should._

_“I know you don’t want to have any part of what is happening here in our world, but that is not an option for you,” Celine said. “You will determine the fate of our world when you decide what to do about the cauldron.”_

_“You are supposedly a seer so why don’t you tell me what I am going to do,” Regina challenged._

_“I will tell you some of what will happen if you agree to actually listen to me.”_

_Regina said nothing, but inclined her head slightly to show she was willing._

_“You are going to be taken by Lord Silas’ men, taken to his castle and there you will have to make your choice,” Celine said. “I’m not going to tell you what that choice is. I don’t want to influence you like that. It has to be your choice. What I will tell you is that once that initial decision is made, you will return to Storybrooke. As I said before, you won’t be you when you will return – not the you that you know now or the you that your son knows. You aren’t going to remember who you are. You aren’t going to remember Henry.”_

_Regina’s mouth came partly open as Celine continued to speak._

_“This time will be very important for you. It will help lend clarity to your life. And you won’t face it alone. Emma will be there with you all along the road you must travel. In her you will find your equal, your match, your true love.”_

_“That’s it,” Regina said getting to her feet once more. “You don’t have any idea what you are talking about.”_   
_Celine stood with her._

_“This is your journey Regina. This is the path you will need to take for your own sake. You feel the burden don’t you, the burden of the things you have done in your life? You earned the title of the Evil Queen,” she said. “This is, this is your chance to put that behind you. It’s your only chance.”_

_“What, by destroying that cauldron like he wants me to?’ Regina shot back._

_“No, by opening yourself up to love once more.”_  
  
Regina thought back to that moment when Celine had said that to her. She had dismissed the very idea of it immediately. Daniel was her true love and there would never be another true love in her life.

Even if there was a chance of it that person would not be Emma Swan.

As much as she didn’t want to think about it, ever since her memories had returned she had kept thinking of what Celine had said. She kept thinking about her time here with Emma. 

She kept thinking about the kiss.

Emma’s lips had been so soft.

“Stop thinking about it,” she said out loud. “She doesn’t like you. She may have liked you that way when you didn’t know who you were but … and now I’m talking to myself. Just great.”

She got up, turning off all the lights downstairs and going up to her room. Once up there she began to change for bed. Taking off her shirt and bra she picked up the shirt she had placed there earlier in the day. Looking at the shirt she thought about how she had packed Emma’s things up. Every trace of Emma that she could find in the house she had removed. 

Everything but the shirt she held in her hands right now. It was the shirt Emma had worn her last night there. Putting it on, Regina hoped it would help her sleep. Ever since she had banished Emma from the house she had found sleep hard to come by. She knew it was silly but she had kept the shirt thinking that maybe her mind at least would think Emma was nearby.


	24. Chapter 24

“Emma. Emma.”

Emma looked up to see her dad standing in the doorway of her office.

“Why don’t you go home and sleep?’ he said.

She had practically been nodding off at her desk. “I don’t know that going home will help much,” Emma said. “I can’t seem to get to sleep there either.”

Charming entered the room fully, closing the door behind him and taking a seat on the chair in front of her desk.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just a bout of insomnia.”

Charming cocked his head slightly to the side to indicate he didn’t believe her.

“It’s Regina,” she admitted.

“I figured that already,” he said. “What specifically is bothering you about Regina?”

“She won’t talk to me. I mean I spent how many months there at the house with her making sure she was ok and safe, waiting for her memories to return and the second they do she kicks me out and won’t have anything to do with me,” Emma shrugged. “I’ve tried talking to her but …”

“And this is bothering you so much you can’t sleep?”

“It’s not … I told you she’s still planning on going back to Prydain,” Emma said. “What if she takes off in the middle of the night? Because that is the exactly the kind of thing she would do. She would do that because she wouldn’t want to have to say goodbye to Henry. I don’t know that she could look him the eye and say that and then just leave especially if she doesn’t know if she will ever make it back. She did that once before when Pan’s curse was coming at us all – she can’t do it again.”

“So you have been staying up all night to monitor that GPS tracker that you put on her phone?”

“No. First of all I have alerts set up for when she leaves the radius of the house. Secondly, there is not much sense in that since she doesn’t leave the house. From what I can tell she left to get her hair cut, left to get groceries once and that is it. I would have at least thought she might have gone to Gold’s in order to see how to get back to Prydain which makes me worry she knows how to get back there.”

“If she does, why hasn’t she gone yet?”

“Henry, I guess,” she said. “Maybe she wants to spend more time with him.”

“If she does go for the well, are you still planning on going with her?”

“I can’t let her go alone.”

“And your mom and I aren’t letting you go alone, which means if she does do it, your first phone call is to us.”

“Look I know you want to go with me but if Regina and I are doing this someone has to stay here and be with Henry until we return.”

“You aren’t going alone,” Charming repeated. “Now do I have to put a tracker on your phone or are we in agreement that if Regina goes you call us?”

Emma looked away for a moment and then back to her father and nodded.

“I mean it Emma, you call.”

“Alright,” she said. “But we still need to make arrangements for Henry.”

“I’ll go talk to Belle. She will watch over him until we return,” Charming said. “As for Regina, maybe she just needs a little time. You saw her at her most vulnerable and she isn’t someone who shows vulnerability to anyone.”

 

….  


Regina set the plate of food down in front of Henry and then got her own plate and sat down. After the initial week of her memories being back they had spoken a lot – talked about the year she had missed of his life. The conversations tapered off and now it was beginning to feel like it did when Henry first left to get Emma – when they were barely speaking.

She feared she didn’t know how to speak to her own son because she couldn’t tell him what had happened to her. He had asked on multiple occasions and she had put him off every time.

It had come to a head the day before when instead of asking about her missing year he asked about Emma and why Regina wouldn’t let her come by anymore. Regina had lost her temper and ended up yelling at him.

She felt bad about it but she didn’t know how to make it right.

So they ate in silence.

“I’m going to go upstairs and finish my homework,” he said after dinner. She nodded as she looked down at her half eaten plate of food.

He was almost to the door when she spoke.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you yesterday,” she said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No you shouldn’t have,” he said. “And you shouldn’t have told Emma to leave.”

“Henry…”

“I don’t want it to be like it was before,” Henry said. “I liked it that you and Emma were getting along. It felt, it felt like we were a family.”

“You are my only family.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. Just call her.”

Regina didn’t respond and Henry walked away.

She thought about what he said about how it felt like a family. When she didn’t remember who she was, she thought that was what they were – a family. Emma had explained to her that Henry was their son and while she didn’t understand it exactly, she thought it meant they were family.

She hadn’t understood.

Maybe she still didn’t.

 

_Regina stormed out of the cottage. She wasn’t going to stay and listen to this seer’s nonsense any longer. She untied the horse and was prepared to just pick a direction and leave._

_“Regina,” Taren said as he came outside. “What are you doing?”_

_“I’m done with this old man,” she said. “Where are those damn fairies at? I’m leaving this place, this world, I’m going home to my son.”_

_“No you aren’t.” Celine had also stepped outside. “Not for a long while yet, but you will return to him.”_

_“I am done listening to you,” Regina said pulling on the reins to get the horse moving._

_“You haven’t listened yet,” Celine said. “Do you really think ignoring me will change what will happen? It will not. I know, I tried for years to ignore this power inside of me. I didn’t want to be this person who couldn’t help but see the futures of those I came in contact with. The knowledge comes whether I want to or not. Do you have any concept of what it is like to try and live a normal life when you see the moment your loved ones will die before it happens?”_

_Regina looked to Taren who had sadness written across his features._

_“I am telling you part of your future because I believe that this knowledge will be important to you,” Celine continued. “I tell you these things because your fate ties to the very fate of our world.”_

_“You say you are never wrong, but in this instance you are.”_

_“How so?”_

_“What you are saying about me and Emma, it’s impossible,” Regina said._

_“Why is it impossible?”_

_“It just is. You are talking about things you have no clue about. Emma and I are sworn enemies. I have literally tried to kill her.”  
“But you didn’t.”_

_Regina was getting beyond frustrated at this point. “Mark my words seer, you are wrong. Now Taren, I am leaving with or without you.”_

_Taren sighed. “Let me get my cloak.”_

_He went back inside and Celine approached Regina. “This is not the last time you and I shall see each other,” she said. “The next time we meet shall be the last day of Taren’s life.”_

 

Regina had not seen the seer again before she left that world. She feared now that if she returned that she would indeed see her.

….

Emma was lying on her couch, sleep finally making its way through her body, when her phone beeped. It was on her stomach so she merely picked it up, but as soon as she saw it was a GPS alert from Regina’s phone she was up and grabbing her coat.

By the time she got to her car she had paused as she saw the GPS signal was not headed toward the well.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

 ...

Regina was thankful she had a spare set of keys to all city buildings hidden away at the mansion. She used one of them now to sneak into the city morgue.

Using the flashlight app on her phone she made her way back to where the bodies were stored before burial. She didn’t figure there was anymore than the one she was looking for.

Although he had been dead for a while it wasn’t as if there was anyone to claim the body, which meant he should still be here.

There were only four storage units for the bodies and she opened two before she found him. She had to put her phone down to use both hands to pull the tray all the way out so she could see him fully. The bullet holes were still there from where she had shot him.

She had been responsible for many deaths in her life but this one felt different. She could still see it in her mind – the man attacking Emma, picking up the gun and shooting. She had been confused at the time as to who exactly this man was, but now she knew.

Silas had sent him here to find her. Somehow he had found out or figured out that she was here.

Now she wondered if Silas sent him to bring her back because he knew what she had done to the cauldron or if he simply believed she hadn’t done anything to it and still expected her to activate it.

She had to admit that what she had done wasn’t really what she had intended when she entered the room and told Silas she would activate it. When she had touched the cauldron she had felt it, felt its magic and felt her own. After all that time her magic was suddenly there once more. That had been her hope – that the cauldron, an item of magic, would be enough to jumpstart her own magic. When she had finally admitted to Taren that her magic was gone, he had discussed some of his magical theories.

He didn’t believe her magic was gone for good. He told her she might only need an infusion of magic to get hers going again. That is what she had hoped for when she entered that room and convinced them to leave her alone. She thought if she could get her magic back she could merely teleport out of there without doing anything to the cauldron.

Despite all she had gone through she still didn’t want any part of this. She wasn’t even sure she could explain it to herself, but she was afraid of making a decision either way on the fate of this.

The cauldron’s magic was unlike anything she had ever experienced before – it was an ancient power, a raw power and it felt like it was consuming her. She pushed back against it with her own magic and that is when it happened.

“Regina.”

The light turned on in the room and there was Emma.

“What are you doing here?” Emma asked as she moved closer. “Why are you standing here in the dark looking at a dead body? Are you ok?”

Regina could hear the concern in Emma’s voice. She looked once again at the dead man. She remembered him from before. He was one of the guards she would see almost daily during her imprisonment. She wondered if he had volunteered to come bring her back after what she had done to the other guard that had been partnered up with him. That guard had been one of the 31 the captain of the guards had mentioned.

“Hey,” Emma said touching Regina’s arm. Regina hadn’t even noticed that Emma had come around to stand next to her. “Are you ok?”

Regina shook her head no.

“What’s wrong? Why are you here?”

“I’m here to get some answers.”

“I thought you remembered everything.”

“I do,” Regina said. “It’s about …”

She looked at Emma wondering if she should tell her to leave or leave herself. Or if she should tell her the truth.

“Please,” Emma said. “Whatever it is just tell me. I want to help.”

“It might be best if I show you and get the answers to my questions at the same time,” Regina said as she put her hand on the man’s chest. A dark glowing light came out of her palm and she jerked it away as the man’s eyes opened.

“Holy shit,” Emma said pulling her back and pulling her gun out at the same time. “What the hell is that?”

The man sat up and his milky eyes turned to Regina who could tell the man was waiting on her, waiting for her to give him a command.


	25. Chapter 25

"What just happened?" Emma asked.

"Shh," Regina said to her as she turned her attention to the man. "Does Silas know that I now have the cauldron's magic in me?"

Regina ignored the glance Emma threw her way.

"No."

The man's voice was low and even that simple word seemed to stretch out forever.

"Is Taren still alive?"

"Don't know."

"Damn it," Regina swore. "How did you get here?"

He didn't answer and Regina rephrased the question. "How did you travel from Prydain to this world?"

"Magic."

She huffed out a breath. Of course it involved magic, what she was wanting to know was how that magic was accomplished.

"Ask him if any others were sent?" Emma said. Her gun was still out although she was no longer aiming it at him.

"Were there any others sent here besides you?"

"No."

"Why not?" Silas had a whole army so why would he send just one. It didn't make any sense especially with how many men he had sent to retrieve her at the farm once he knew for sure she was there. It was the last time she had seen Taren – as he was lying on the ground after taking a strike from one of the guards.

"Only one at a time," he said.

"Then why not send more after you?"

The answer was slow in coming. "Portal only open at equinox."

She considered what he said. Magic worked differently in Prydain – well that wasn't exactly it, it was more like how they used it was different. In her many discussions with Taren she had learned that magic users there believed there were rules or forces that kept them from doing magic without adhering to strict ritual. Perhaps this was one of those instances.

Or may be this corpse didn't really know. Either way the real question she wanted answered had been answered.

She touched him again on the chest, using the magic to make him dead once more and closed the unit.

"Do you want to explain what the hell that was?" Emma said.

"That is what the black cauldron does, it brings the dead back to life," Regina said.

"I gathered that from the cartoon, what I want to know is how you did that."

"When I touched the cauldron, I felt its magic and felt my own for the first time there in that world," Regina said. "Its power was so strong and it felt like it was coming for me. It's hard to explain. I used my magic to fight it, but instead of fighting it, my magic was swapped with it. Suddenly this foreign magic was inside of me and it was overwhelming. I don't even know exactly what happened afterward because it's a blur. I've had fuzzy memories of running, getting out of the castle but I was being chased. Someone yelled my name and I turned and that is when the arrow struck. Then it was more running. I didn't know why I was running or where I was running to. The magic was consuming me and so I tried to expel it from me and then next thing I know I was here in Storybrooke but by that time I didn't know who I was or anything."

"Wait, you are telling me that you now have the power of the black cauldron?"

"Yes."

"Ok, ok, we can deal with that," Emma said. "Just don't do that, that thing with the dead people again. Ever."

Emma stepped away from her, pacing a little bit, her eyes continuing to go toward the now closed storage unit. Then suddenly she stopped and smiled.

"You have the power of the cauldron which means you didn't activate it, which means it is useless to Silas, which means there is no need for you to go back to Prydain," Emma said. "This is great."

"Did you miss the part where I said my magic was swapped for the cauldron's magic," Regina said. "Meaning my magic is in the cauldron, which mean yes I do have to go back."

"No you don't," Emma said. "You don't need your magic."

"Yes, I do."

"No you don't. You lived how many years here in Storybrooke without magic. You don't need it," she said.

"Even if I thought I could do that," Regina said.

"You can do it," Emma interrupted her. "You are the strongest person I know. It might be rough at first, but I'll help. If anything magical is required you can teach me how to do it."

"Miss Swan," Regina said calmly. "As I was saying, even if I could do it, there is another complication. The cauldron's magic is inside me. I am fairly confident in saying that it was the reason that I didn't remember any of this when I first returned."

"Yeah but you are ok now, aren't you?"

Regina shook her head no.

"What's wrong?" Emma said stepping closer to her. She reached her hand out as if to touch Regina, but the other woman backed up a step. Emma also took a step back sensing her nearness was not appreciated.

"When the magic first entered me, it felt wrong. It felt like it was trying to fill me, like it wanted to replace me. This magic is unlike anything I have ever felt before," she said. "It's so much power and it's … it's dark. Darker even than my own magic. This power to make the dead live again, it's seductive. I can't live like this. I have to get it out of me and the only way to do that is to get my magic back."

Emma could see that Regina was worried about this, shaken even.

"Alright, we will get your magic back," Emma said. "We will. Together. Ok?"

"No."

"Regina."

"No," she repeated. "Henry can't lose both of us."

"He's not going to lose us," Emma said, coming closer. This time she didn't stop and Regina didn't back away. Emma touched her arm. "If we do this together then he won't lose us. You know like back in Neverland, we did better when we were working together. We made a freaking eclipse happen, we can do this."

This time Regina glanced at the storage unit. "If we are going to do this then you should probably hear what happened in Prydain."

…

They had returned to the mansion and took seats in the living room. Regina told her what had happened up until leaving the seer's house minus what Celine had to say about Emma.

"Then this woman was legit psychic," Emma said.

"I wouldn't go that far."

"But she told you that when you returned here you wouldn't know who Henry was," Emma said. "That sounds pretty legit to me."

"Yes well forgive me if I don't let my life be dictated by something a psychic says," Regina said.

"So what happened next?" Emma asked as she yawned.

"Perhaps we should continue this discussion tomorrow," Regina said. "You are tired."

It was already nearly 3 a.m. as Regina had waited until Henry was asleep before venturing out.

"Well I was almost asleep when someone decided to take a field trip to the morgue."

"How did you know I was there anyway?"

Emma bit her bottom lip.

"Miss Swan, how did you know?"

"Could you not call me that?"

"I call you that all the time."

"You used to call me that," Emma said. "Then you were calling me Emma. My name."

"I called you that because I didn't know I called you Miss Swan."

"I like it better when you call me Emma. Please don't call me Miss Swan."

Regina saw it in Emma's eyes that she meant what she said.

"Ok, Emma, how did you know I was at the morgue?"

"I may have put a trackable GPS on your phone."

"You did what?"

"I did it for you own good or do you not recall leaving here that day and trying to jump into a now non-existent well." Emma defended her actions. "I couldn't take the risk that you would do it again even with your memories back."

Regina grabbed her phone and held it out to Emma. "Take it off."

"Fine," Emma said. She quickly removed the hidden app and returned the phone. "I'm doing this because I trust that you aren't going to do something stupid, atleast not without me. Don't make me regret it."

"I won't."

Regina stood, prompting Emma to do so. "I guess I'll meet you back here tomorrow for more story time," Emma said, another yawn coming out of her.

"Yes, well, it's late, so you could stay here in the guest room if you want."

"Really?"

"Only if you want. I can get you some clothes to sleep in."

"That would be great. Thanks."

Regina led the way up the stairs, Emma a couple of steps behind her. Regina had been wearing a pair of jeans – a surprise to Emma as she figured Regina would go back to her mayor clothes now that she had her memories back. The jeans were a pair that Emma had bought her. They were quite form fitting and Emma's eyes were drawn to Regina's ass, so much that she stumbled when she got to the top step.

"Graceful as always," Regina said, raising an eyebrow at her as Emma regained her balance. "Wait there and I will get you something to sleep in."

Regina went to her room and pulled out a pair of pajama pants and then grabbed the tank top she had kept. She had been wearing it to sleep in and while it seemed to help the first couple of nights, it no longer smelled like Emma.

But maybe if Emma wore it tonight …

She knew she was being silly and she should just give her the shirt and be done with it.

Regina took the items and went back out to Emma. "Here."

Emma examined the shirt. "This is mine."

"Yes. I overlooked it before when I was gathering up your things."

"Thanks," Emma said. "I'll um see you tomorrow."

Emma entered the guest room and shut the door behind her, leaning against it. She used this time to just look around the room. It was clean, the bed was made and it was exactly like it was when she first came here to stay with Henry when Regina disappeared except for different bedding.

Thinking about that first night, she hadn't slept well at all. She was worried about Henry who hadn't said much except for that he was waiting for his mom to come home.

But she hadn't come home for such a long time.

And when she did, well she needed help. Emma had been reluctant to be that person, to be a full-time caregiver. Then it changed. She couldn't even point to the moment it changed.

Sighing she stripped down and put the other clothes on. Pulling the tank top over her head she paused for a second. When she had it fully on, she lifted the front and smelt it.

It smelt like Regina. Odd, she thought.

…..

"Morning mom," Henry said, as he walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning," she replied without turning to look at him. She was at the stove cooking breakfast, which he now came over to take a peek at.

"Kind of a big breakfast," he said, noting she was making eggs, bacon and pancakes.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," she said. "Besides I am sure Emma can help you finish it off."

"Mom's coming for breakfast?"

"She's already here actually. She spent the night in the guest room. Perhaps you should go wake her."

"Yeah, ok," he said, turning and leaving the room. He bounded up the stairs and knocked on the door to the guest room. He didn't hear a response so he opened. "Mom?"

Emma was still on the bed, hugging a pillow to her, and still quite asleep.

"Mom," he said again, as he got closer and this time poked her leg which was sticking out from the covers.

"Five more minutes," she mumbled.

He snickered. "Five more minutes and your food is going to get cold. Mom's making breakfast."

This time she opened her eyes. "Breakfast?"

"Yes," he smiled. "She told me to get you up."

"Alright I'm up," she said. "Be right down."

He left the room and she got out of bed, stretching and then regretting that she had to leave the comfort of the bed at all. She hadn't slept this well since, well since she had left the mansion.  
She put the clothes she had been wearing the night before on. She quickly made the bed and the placed the pajama pants folded up on top of it. The tank top she took with her. It may only be psychological but she really did believe that it smelt like Regina.

Making her way downstairs she could smell the food before she even made it to the kitchen.

"Good morning," Emma said.

"Good morning," Regina said, indicating she should sit.

Once Emma was seated, Regina put a plate of food down in front of her and then took her own seat.

The first few minutes of the meal was eaten in silence.

"Why aren't you drinking milk?" Emma asked.

"Excuse me?" Regina asked.

"You always drank milk before," Emma said.

Regina looked at the glass of orange juice in front of her. "I drank milk because that is what you had in my refrigerator."

"Oh."

More silence.

"So do you like milk?" Emma asked.

"Yes. I just prefer orange juice for breakfast."

"Ok."

More silence.

"So why didn't you tell me that before, you know that you liked orange juice? I would have gotten you some."

"I don't know," Regina said. "I guess it was easier to let you control things, to let you take care of me."

The admission surprised Emma and by the way Regina averted her eyes quickly she figured the brunette was a little embarrassed by it.

"Are you back to staying here?" Henry asked Emma.

"No kid," Emma said. "Your mom and I have some things we need to talk about is all."

"What are you guys talking about?"

The two women exchanged a look. Regina was about to speak up but Emma went first. "Just city business. Your mom has been gone for a long time and she needs to catch up on what's happened around town. I told her I would fill her in."

Henry looked at Regina. "Are you going to be mayor again?"

"I think any discussions about that are premature," Regina said. "But there is still a lot of other things I should know about what went on here while I was gone."

They ate the rest of the meal in relative silence and once it was done Henry left to spend some time with a friend and Emma helped Regina clean the dishes.

"Why didn't you want to tell him the truth?" Regina asked.

"Why were you going to? You do realize if you had told him that we plan to go to Prydain that he would insist on going with us."

"Much like you are insisting on going with me?"

"Yes, but me going is logical. Taking our son with us, is not."

"I don't feel comfortable lying to him," Regina said. "Not being truthful is how I almost lost him before."

"You aren't going to lose him again. I promise. I'm more concerned about him losing you."

"You don't think I can do it, go to Prydain and do what I was supposed to have done in the first place?"

"No, I'm not doubting you," Emma said. "But I'm worried about you. You shouldn't have to do it alone, not when you have people who care about you. Maybe you should try and get used to that."


	26. Chapter 26

_Regina didn't speak with Taren for a long time after they left the seer's home. She kept thinking about all Celine had said. It wasn't just what she said about Emma but also what she had said about Taren – that the next time she saw her that it would be Taren's last day._

_Even with Taren having admitted he knew her coming here was the beginning of the end for him it still bothered her to hear Celine say it. Yes Taren frustrated her but she didn't want to see him dead._

_He seemed to sense she wasn't up for talking so as they journeyed he kept silent – speaking only to point out course corrections._

_She felt the burden of what he wanted her to do more so now. He had spent a good portion of his life concerning himself with the fate of this cauldron and she apparently was the only one who could do something about it._

_Even if she did want to become involved she didn't see how she could accomplish this task._

_She stopped the horse and stood there looking into what seemed like an endless swamp. Taren too stopped but he didn't ask her what she was doing._

_"I don't have any magic," she said breaking the silence. She kept her grip on the horse's reins, not looking at Taren while she spoke._

_"It's gone. I can't feel it in me any longer. Ever since I came here, it's been gone. I can't do this thing you want me to do because I don't have the power to do it," she said. "All I have is me and I have never been enough on my own."_

_She cleared her throat, "but I suppose since you know everything else, you already knew I didn't have my magic."_

_When she looked at him for the first time, he didn't have that knowing expression._

_"You didn't know?"_

_"We should go back and consult Celine," he said, already turning._

_"If she is as good as you say she is, she knew and she chose not to tell you," Regina said, stopping him._

_"But this changes everything."_

_"You really didn't know? Didn't you think it odd I hadn't used any magic?"_

_"I assumed like any magic user that you were merely being guarded. Most of those who I have come in contact with over the years tend to be secretive about their magic and what they can do with it."_

_"Believe me, I haven't been shy about using my magic," she said. "Ever since I learned how to use this power inside me it has been an almost constant companion. When I woke up here, it was gone. I thought maybe I just needed some rest and it would return but so far that hasn't been the case."_

_Taren looked back in the direction of where Celine lived but then turned and got moving again. "Maybe the fairies will be able to help."_

_They traveled for another hour before the swamp finally began to clear out. Regina was surprised at how the landscape changed over the course of the next few of hours to rolling hills and then to another forest._

_As they prepared to enter it, a fairy came out to meet them._

_"Greetings Taren," the young girl said. "And to you Savior. We have prepared food for you and accommodations so that you may rest."_

_It was welcome news to Regina who followed Taren and the fairy who continued speaking but Regina wasn't paying attention. The temperature, which had continued to be cold didn't appear to be as bad as they walked through the trees. There was an almost peaceful feel to this place and Regina found she too felt calmer._

_A spell, she thought. Perhaps the fairies used their magic to make this place this way._

_Hopefully if they were able to create such serenity through magic they would be able to help restore hers._

"I take it these fairies weren't like the ones I am familiar with?" Emma asked.

After doing the breakfast dishes they retired to Regina's office to talk. Regina had told her about their journey to see Celine – leaving out all references to Emma – and their arrival at the fairies' home.

"No. These fairies are all in the form of children or young adults. And they have an almost oppressive sense of optimism."

"I bet you fit right in."

"Hardly," Regina said. "The first night, I didn't have much interaction with them. I was pretty tired by that point so after we had a meal, I went to sleep. One thing I noticed immediately was that the fairies, they were all staring at me and whispering all excitedly."

"You were like some A-list celebrity," Emma smiled.

"I wish I wasn't, but yes, that is sort of how it felt," Regina said.

_"Do you want anything else to eat or drink?" the fairy, who had been introduced to her as Anna, asked._

_"No thank you," Regina said._

_She had slept in late – her body needing to recharge. When they had been brought in last night they were taken to this series of interconnected caves. After eating, she had been directed to a smaller cave where a simple bed had been made up for her to sleep on. It was really nothing more than a mattress of tree branches that was actually quite comfortable to lie on._

_When she woke there were three fairies there who were apparently ready to bring her anything she wanted._

_The attention was more than a little unnerving._

_"Where is Taren?"_

_"I could take you to him," Anna eagerly said._

_She followed her down a couple of pathways until they reached a larger cave where Taren was seated at a table that was covered in scrolls._

_All around the room there were books and more scrolls stacked on shelves._

_"What is all this?" she asked._

_"Research," Taren said. "This is where I keep my storehouse of knowledge. I have long been friends with fairies that inhabit this forest and they agreed to give me this space to keep all of it. I didn't want it at the farmhouse just in case."_

_"Are all of these about the cauldron?"_

_"Some of it is, but most of it is my work into understanding of magic. I thought I should get started in trying to figure out why you can't access your magic."_

_"It's not that I can't access it, it's not there."_

_"I don't believe that. I don't believe your magic can simply be gone. Everything I have accumulated over the years about magic has lead me to the theory that magic can't simply disappear. It has to go somewhere, whether it takes another form or inhabits another person or object, it's still there somewhere."_

_Regina crossed her arms. "Ok, if your theory is correct, then where is my magic?"_

_"I don't know," Taren said. "Hence the research."_

_Regina pulled out one of the chairs and sat down. "Where would you like me to start?"_

_They spent hours going through dozens of books and scrolls. The fairies brought them lunch as they continued their work._

_That is how it went for days. Regina had to admit that Taren had amassed quite a collection of information on magic and had developed a few theories about which he had managed to back up rather convincingly._

_She had learned more about the fairies as well. Each one had magic - but it was limited. It was only when they worked collectively that they could perform bigger magic such as the one that cloaked the forest. They had explained to her that they kept their homestead hidden from most humans with some notable exceptions such as Taren._

_They too believed that the cauldron needed to be destroyed if their world was to be safe and were well aware of Regina's part in that. It took her a week to get them to call her Regina and not Savior._

_Still that first week, while she and Taren went through a lot of material and discussed his theories she didn't feel they were any closer to actually figuring out how to get her magic to return._

_After two weeks Taren could stand it no longer and he made the trip out to see Celine once more, hoping she would have answers for him. Regina declined to go and so she stayed behind with the fairies._

_Without Taren there to keep her company she became bored and some how that led to her being outside the caves facing a set of targets the fairies had set up for her. Even when Taren had given her the bow and quiver, she hadn't given it much thought. She had never really had the occasion to have to use such crude instruments. Until her magic returned she felt vulnerable though and so here she was practicing – badly._

_"Man, what I wouldn't have paid to see that," Emma commented._

_Regina rolled her eyes, "I assure you it wasn't that entertaining."_

_"Maybe not from your point of view," Emma said. "So how bad were you?"_

_Regina paused before speaking. "If you ever breathe a word of this to your mother …"_

_"Scouts honor, she will never hear it from my lips."_

_"It took me two days to hit a target. Again, I never had a use for such things because of my magic."_

_"I assume you got better," Emma said after a barely concealed bit of laughter._

_"Yes, I got better. I won't ever be an archer of your mother's quality – again if you ever tell her I said she was a quality archer, I will kill you."_

_"She knew you had been hit by an arrow, when you came back I mean. She felt inside the wound so she knew the tip was still inside you and was able to tell the paramedics about it," Emma said. "She said you must have been far away from whoever shot you."_

_Emma noticed Regina let her hand casually brush over the area where she had been shot._   
_"I don't really recall much about it beyond it hurting. By that time what I had done to the cauldron was taking its hold on me."_

_Emma decided to change the subject when she saw a darkening to Regina's features. "Maybe you can take me out shooting some time," Emma said. "I wouldn't mind putting my skills against yours."_

_"I will take that under consideration, now do you mind if I continue."_

_Regina was in Taren's study when one of the fairies – one she believed was named Keasel or was it Weasel – came to tell her Taren had returned._

_He had been gone for more than a week and as she exited the cave to see him approach she knew it had not gone as he had hoped._

_She followed him back in, but he remained silent until they were alone._

_"She knew about your magic."_

_He didn't offer up anything else, so she prodded him. "Did she tell you how to solve that issue?"_

_"No. Only that you would have it when you needed it."_

_Regina sighed. "What did she say exactly? With seers it is all about how they say something."_

_"That is what she said."_

_Taren sounded annoyed for the first time since she had come there. She had told him that going to the seer would be pointless. Again she got the feeling that things between the seer and Taren went further than what he had let on._

_"Since she knew and apparently didn't feel the need to tell you beforehand, did you at least ask her why that was?"_

_Taren took a seat, for once looking like the old man that he was._

_"She feared she told me too much already," he said. "It was never her intention to tell me about my impending death. She sort of let it slipped one night and I pressed her to give me details."_

_"Did she? Give you details, I mean?"_

_"She told me your coming would be the beginning of the end for me, but she begged me to leave it alone, to not ask her for details. I could not bare to ask her after that."_

_"Because you are in love with her, aren't you?"_

_He hadn't actually been looking at her this entire time, but now he did. "Yes, I love her."_

_Regina took her own seat. "How long have you loved her?"_

_A small smile graced his lips. "I won't say it was love at first sight because it wasn't. Like everyone else, I thought she was going to be old crone, and even when I saw her I thought maybe she was some servant girl to the seer," he said. "Yes, I could recognize from that first moment that she was good looking but I was so focused on getting to speak to the seer that I didn't really give her much consideration."_

_"I think I had knocked on her door for three weeks before she told me she was the seer. And as I told you before, she wasn't really forthcoming with the information I was seeking. Yet, she kept letting me come into her home. I think she was lonely in her self-imposed exile."_

_"She enjoyed your company," Regina said._

_"And I enjoyed hers. She's so easy to talk to," he said. "But sad as well. Her life has been … well I told you a little about it later and believe me that was a diluted tale."_

_"Why do you think she didn't tell you about my magic?"_

_Taren got quiet again as he considered her question. She figured he must have thought about the answer way before she had asked._

_"Perhaps she found your lack of magic meaningless since she says you will have access to your magic at the right time."_

_"Wait," Regina said. "That is not how you phrased it a moment ago. I told you, how a seer says something is important. How exactly did she say it?"_

_Again, Taren paused._

_"She said you would have access to your magic at the right moment."_

_Regina bit her lip, thinking about the words. She didn't have her magic right now, but maybe it was still out there somewhere or in her somewhere but she couldn't access it. Celine hadn't said it would be there when she needed it, only that she could access it at the right moment. When would that moment be? If she was here because of this cauldron, did that mean she would be able to access it when it was time to destroy it?_

_It was back to this._

_"I know you just got back but maybe you could find some time today or tomorrow to ask the fairies around here about getting me back home," Regina said._

_"You still wish to return home then."_

_"Of course I do. Did you miss the part about my son being back there?"_

_"Emma is with him."_

_"I don't care. I want to go home."_

_"Even though you know when you return you will not remember him? I know you don't want to hear this, but Celine is never wrong. Once you accept that …"_

_"I can't accept it!"_

_Regina turned from him and went all the way to the entrance. She paused there before facing him once more._

_"I can't … if Henry doesn't remember me …"_

_Taren got up and approached her. "Henry will be ok," Taren said. "And you will see him again and you will know him again. I promise. I understand that you need him, and forgive me for saying this, but we need you here. The power of the cauldron is nearly unstoppable. It an evil like none other."_

_"I know evil," Regina said. "Evil doesn't scare me, but what she said, that scares me."_

_"Which part?"_

"Yeah, which part were you scared of?" Emma asked.

Regina had stopped before saying anything else. She realized the answer to that question was something best not revealed to Emma. After all, the answer to that question was the part about Emma being her true love.

Was it even possible?

"Henry," she said. "I was afraid of the part about not remembering Henry."

Emma nodded. "What happened next?"

"Not much after that," Regina said. "Taren spoke with the fairies on my behalf about getting me home. I think he did just to appease me or something – or I don't know maybe Celine told him that the answer wouldn't matter anyway. We stayed there with them for a while. There was more archery and some sword training. And a lot of going through Taren's research."

_"This is pointless," Regina groaned as she push away one of the scrolls she had been reading. "We haven't come up with anything on how to destroy the cauldron, get my magic back or get me home."_

_Taren looked up from his own book at her, "You know a couple of weeks ago you would have said that in reverse order."_

_He wasn't wrong, Regina thought, but her patience was wearing thin. She got up to stretch her legs more than anything else._

_"The cauldron's magic is inert," she said, feeling like she needed to talk some of this out. "And there is no way I could activate that magic without having magic of my own, so if I'm supposed to activate it then it must mean I get my magic first."_

_"Or to destroy it," Taren said._

_"Yes," she admitted. "Which means I get my magic back but how. I can't feel it. From the moment I woke up here it's like nothing. I should be able to feel it."_

_"We've been over this multiple times now," Taren said. "It's not possible for your magic to be non-existent."_

_"According to your theory," she pointed out. "Even with that theory, how do we know my magic still exists, but it exists back in Storybrooke."_

_"I don't believe that," he said. "The cauldron is here. What you are destined to do it here."_

_"You know how I feel about that word," Regina said._

_"Yes, I know, but you haven't told me why that word bothers you so much. In fact, you haven't really told me a lot about yourself," Taren said. "What exactly is your story Regina Mills? How is that someone who was queen also knows how to muck out a stall? You ride a horse like royalty but also like a commoner. While your archery skills have improved, it clearly isn't something that comes natural to you – in other words, you haven't previously been trained. You are a mother, but you haven't said anything about other family. So who are you?"_

_Regina found she didn't really have an answer for the question of who she was. She wasn't queen, she wasn't mayor, she was a mother separated from her son and she was a magic user who couldn't access her own magic._

_"With the exception of Henry, my family is all dead," she said. "And I have failed at everything I have ever done."_

_She wasn't sure why she had said it all, but even as she did she felt in her heart the veracity of it. And she began to lay out the reasons as to why she was a failure and maybe, just maybe he would understand why she would fail at this task too._

_Her mother had wanted her to be the dutiful daughter who could help bring her power – and she hadn't done it._

_Her father had wanted her to be happy – and she wasn't._

_She hadn't been a good queen, no she had gone the opposite direction and made herself an Evil Queen._

_Even Henry – the one person who used to love her unconditionally no longer did. He had left to find his real mother and he succeeded. He had the mother he wanted._

_As for herself, well she wasn't sure what she expected of herself but she was sure she hadn't succeeded in it._

_Taren too seemed to feel the weight of her words and they went back to their silence and their reading._

"That isn't true. I mean you don't really believe that, do you?" Emma asked.

Regina again felt unsure – why had she told Emma that part?

"Why wouldn't I believe it?" Regina asked.

"First of all, Henry loves you unconditionally," Emma said. "So that part is bullshit. Yeah, so he came to fetch me, and you two hit a rough patch there, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. That kid was tore up when you left. He sure as hell wasn't my biggest fan either. He was there that day in case you forgot. He asked me to help you and I couldn't do anything and then you were gone. You think he didn't harbor some resentment over that? Hell, I resented myself for not being able to help you."

"There was nothing you could have done."

"I wanted to do something," Emma said. "I wanted to be able to save you."

Regina averted her eyes, not liking being under such scrutiny by the other woman. "I appreciate that you wanted to do something. Any resentment Henry felt, I'm sure is long gone."

"Just as any resentment he felt toward you is also long gone."

"I guess we will see about that."

"What does that mean? Henry loves you. Ever since you started paying attention to him even though you didn't really know him, that kid has been happy to have his comic book reading mom around."

Regina let out a small laugh at that. Comic books had become something of a fascination of hers. Although she was sure she would look silly reading one now that she had all her memories back. She realized that she had wanted to have a connection with Henry so she when she had seen him reading comic books she – despite not knowing much about this world at the time – wanted to learn about something that interested Henry.

"I do have a question about that day when you stopped Pan's curse," Emma said.

"I told you, there was nothing you could have done, so stop torturing yourself over it."

"No, that's not it," she said. "When you were down on the ground, unconscious or whatever, when you opened your eyes, you said my name. You said Emma. Why?"

Regina thought back to that day. She remembered what Emma was referring to as far as being down on the ground. When she had opened her eyes, she had known that to stop the curse it would require a sacrifice – and she was the one who needed to make that sacrifice. But she didn't know why she had said Emma's name, at least she didn't think she did – an image came into her head for a such a quick moment, like a dream she couldn't hold onto it.

"Are you ok?" Emma asked as she had fallen silent.

"Yes," Regina said. "I don't know why I said your name that day. Perhaps it was nothing more than a reassurance for myself that you would be here for Henry since I wouldn't be any longer."

Emma didn't get the sense that Regina was lying, but she also wasn't sure about the conjecture Regina was making either. Still it sparked another question.  
"So, you knew then that you would be leaving?" Emma asked. "I saw it in your eyes that day, this sadness and this determination at the same time. You knew."

Regina nodded yes. "Although I thought it would be leaving for good, that it would kill me. I didn't expect to wake up in a whole other world."

"I guess you haven't failed at everything then," Emma said. "After all, you were determined to save us from that curse and you did."


	27. Chapter 27

_After spending weeks with the fairies where the only thing they managed to accomplish was increasing Regina’s skills with a bow and sword, it was time for them to return to Taren’s home. The fairies were upset at their leaving – in particular Regina leaving._

_Two of them – Spark and Sully – accompanied them on their journey._

_Unlike before, they exited the fairies’ land from another direction and skirted the swamp entirely, which Regina was thankful for. She made Taren take turns with her riding the horse and they kept a steady, but not a fast pace._

_“Tell me more about this Silas,” Regina said during one of the times she was walking and he was riding. “Why did he become so interested in the cauldron?”_

_“With the defeat of Arawn, there was a power vacuum in the north. When my ancestor Taran ascended to the high throne there were many who opposed it and he was so busy dealing with the new responsibilities of being king and trying to bring the factions who opposed and supported him together that he did not have time to give much thought to those northern lands. By the time he did, it was Lord Silas’ grandfather, Percy, who had become entrenched up there._

_There is not much known about the northern lands at this time. Percy was a warlord of some sort, but beyond consolidating the lands around him that were once part of the Arawn’s holdings, he did not meddle much in the world beyond his lands._

_I fear that due to this, he was not considered a threat, nor were the succeeding generations of his family. Percy had only one son, Jacob, who inherited it all upon his father’s death._

_Jacob had three sons, and Silas was the son of the middle child, Drake. It was Drake who ascended to his father’s throne after the eldest son died in some sort of accident during a hunt._

_Now Silas’ was the youngest son of Drake’s fourth wife and therefore not expected to amount to much. By the time he was born Drake was already an old man and he did not live long enough to see Silas to adulthood._

_From what I understand Drake was always a distant man who gave little consideration for his children except for his two oldest. It was said that they were the only progeny from his first marriage, which was the only one of his four wives he actually loved._

_In a way, Silas and I had much in common due to the circumstances of our births. Neither of us had much expected from us, short of not shaming the family._

_But from the beginning it became apparent to some at least that Silas had a ruthlessness to him.”_

_Taren stopped the horse suddenly and looked down at her. “You must understand that much of what I learned about Silas was later on, after he and I had our falling out over the matter the cauldron.”_

_“If you are concerned about me judging you in some way, I would urge you to give no further thought to it,” she said. “I assure you, your sins are no match for mine.”_

_He got the horse moving again, but did not directly respond to her - -merely going back into his story._

_“Growing up, he didn’t have much contact with his father. Instead he was raised by a series of nannies and tutors. I say series because none apparently lasted long,” Taren said. “Until the boy was about 12 and a new tutor came to teach the boy. This tutor was someone who saw that ruthlessness in the boy and decided to encourage it. Now, here is a story I heard about him. It was when Silas was 13. As I mentioned before he was the youngest child and thus has many older siblings, ranging in age from 15 to those in their 40s. This particular story involves the next youngest son Rory, who was 15. The tutor took Rory and Silas out one day under the pretense of teaching his young charges about some medicinal plant life. Only Silas and the tutor returned. The story they told was that Rory had wandered off and while they looked for him, they could not find him. Search parties were sent out and his body was found two days later. It had been badly beaten to the point the child’s skull was caved in. It was believed that some bandit or vagrant traveling through the area had come across the lost boy and done this to him.”_

_“You obviously think otherwise,” Regina commented._

_“I know otherwise,” he responded. “Once Silas had the cauldron in his hands and I understood what he intended to do with it, I spoke to him, urged him to turn from this course and it was at that time that he warned me not to cross him. He asked me if I heard of the rumor about his brother Rory and how he died. Of course, I had, but it was then that Silas told me in great detail how he killed his older brother and how the only thing he regretted about it was that he had not learned yet how to make it go slow.”_

_“Believe me, when I say he has learned to go slow,” Taren added._

 

“Is that what happened to you?” Emma interrupted the telling. “I mean, Dr. Whale said the injuries you had, some of them occurred over time.”

Regina was taken aback by the question, and turned her head from Emma. Despite having her memories back, she hadn’t dwelled much on her captivity there in Silas’ castle. She really didn’t even have a good sense of the amount of time she spent there as many days bled into the next.

“You can talk to me, you know,” Emma said when Regina remained silent.

“I thought that is what we were doing,” Regina responded. “Now, if you don’t mind, I will get back to our journey to Taren’s home.”

“That is not what I mean and you know it,” Emma said. “You trusted me before. You let me see you …”

“That wasn’t me,” Regina said. “You of all people should know that wasn’t me.”

She got up from the couch, where the two women had been speaking in the main room and Emma followed suit.

“That was you,” Emma insisted. “It was you, if you and I had never been at odds.”

“But we have been at odds,” Regina shot back. “We have been at odds since the moment you came here, from the moment you took my son from me.”

Emma stopped herself from saying anything else. Putting her hands on her hips she looked up at the ceiling a moment to calm down before she made eye contact with Regina once more. “I don’t want to do this,” she said. “I don’t want to argue with you. Ok, can we just not do this for once in our lives? Let’s just sit back down and you keep talking to me, ok?”

Regina considered it a moment, but didn’t say anything before walking back over the couch. She waited for Emma to sit before speaking again.

 

_“Are you ever going to get to the part of your falling out with him?” Regina asked Taran._

_“Eventually,” he smiled. “But I believe you wanted to learn more about Lord Silas, so let me resume.”_

_“After the death of his brother, there were a series of accidents that took the lives of more of his siblings. By the time he was 16 his father had passed away and his oldest brother, Korrigan had inherited the lands. Now as you can imagine given the age difference, Korrigan and Silas had little opportunity to interact over the years. But once Korrigan was ruling, Silas began to insinuate himself more and more into the matters involving the court.”_

_“Despite his young age, Silas became indispensable to Korrigan. And I am sure by now you can see where this story is headed.”_

_“He killed his brother and assumed command of the kingdom.”_

_“Exactly. Before he did, he had helped Korrigan build up the kingdom’s army. So, here he was a young man with a force behind him that made him near invulnerable.”_

_“Is this when you met him?”_

_“No,” Taren said. “I had actually met him before he assumed the throne. Like I told you before, my only prospects in life were through my studies. It had afforded me the chance to travel. I had been working my way north because I was tracing the origins and the location of the cauldron.”_

_“It’s origins,” Regina said. “Your book didn’t say much about it. Did you learn much about where the cauldron came from?”_

_Regina could practically see the old man’s eyes light up. For a moment there, Regina wondered if Taren had been in the Enchanted Forest when she had cast the curse, what would he have ended up as in Storybrooke – a history teacher at the high school perhaps._

_“The cauldron or rather the magic from it, came from a demon from the old world. Not much is known of it, only that it was defeated and its essence was forced into the cauldron. So, in a way the cauldron is a living magic.”_

_“Is there a consciousness to it then?” Regina asked._

_“How do you mean?”_

_“If it was a living thing, and now merely has another form, then is there a remnant of this demon’s mind, its intelligence left in the cauldron?”_

_“Interesting,” Taren said. “I had not considered that. I’m not sure there is any way to test that theory.”_

“I take it there is no remnant of the demon there?” Emma said. “You have the magic now so you would know, right?”

Regina thought about it a moment. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I know the magic feels wrong inside of me. Could that be because of the demon or because it’s not my magic, I don’t know. It is rather unsettling to consider.”

“Let’s hope it’s just you in there then.”


	28. Chapter 28

Regina sat at her desk and opened up the sketch book, flipping through the pages of her sketches. Emma had gotten a call from her father, something about a break in somewhere in town. For just being a break in, Emma seemed unusually eager to get out to wherever it was, but there was also an nervousness to her that Regina didn’t understand.

Emma said she would be back afterward and so Regina had the house to herself for a while. She stopped on a page of sketch of Taren and wondered again if he was still alive. He had been injured when she had been taken by Silas’ men. She had seen the sword strike him and him falling to the ground.

If she believed Celine, he was alive, but when she returned to Prydain, he would die the day she came into contact with Celine once more. She didn’t want to believe that the seer was right about any of it, but so far she had been correct. Celine had predicted that she would return here but not know who she was, that she would not remember Henry. That had happened and Regina couldn’t deny it.

But what she had said about Emma. That Regina was still having difficulty coming to terms with. When she hadn’t remembered who she was, she had clung to Emma as her protector, her friend. But now that she remembered who she was, surely there was no way that she and Emma would ever be anything more than friends.

What had Celine seen that made her say the things she had said? Had she seen that she would share a kiss with Emma?

The kiss – Emma had wanted to talk about it, but Regina had shot her down, but what would she do if Emma brought it up again? Part of her wanted to know what Emma would have to say about it, but a bigger part of her was scared of any such conversation.

Turning the page, she saw the sketch she had been working on of Silas’ castle. It was incomplete as it had been one of the last ones she had been working on before she got her memories back.

She had first seen it days after Silas’ men had captured her. Riding on a horse, her hands tied in front of her, she also had a rope around her neck and the captain of the guard held the other end. The horse she rode was being led any another member of the guard. And Regina knew better than to try anything because even if she could (and she could) get the horse under control to ride away, that rope around her neck would have her pulled off of the horse before she got far.

The captain of the guard, Regina had no idea what his actual name was, had promised her he was ready to drag her behind his own horse if she tried anything. He had been less than pleasant with her from the beginning, of course Regina had already killed three of his men and injured some others.

Seeing the castle that first time, Regina had somehow known the cauldron was in the bottom of the castle. She couldn’t explain how she knew it, but she did. It would be two days before she would see it for the first time. And when she did, she thought immediately that it was such a plain thing. Yes, Taren had shown her a drawing of it in his book and it’s not as if cauldrons were overly fancy to begin with, but still when she was standing there in front of it the first time she thought it ordinary,

But she knew it was powerful because for the first time she could feel magic once more. It wasn’t her magic, no, this was something different, but she could definitely feel it. And that wasn’t all she could feel – there was something odd about this, but she couldn’t figure out what it was that was at that moment.

Sitting back in her chair, she was beginning to understand what she had felt every time she was around the cauldron. Taren’s history of it had been right, there was a presence there. It wasn’t a full presence, she suspected, more like a remnant of one. She believed that it was that remnant and the cauldron’s magic that caused her to forget who she really was.

When she had come back here she had asked Emma if she was her master, and she realized now why she had asked that. It wasn’t because of Silas, it was because of the cauldron and that presence. The cauldron needed a master to operate. It couldn’t do it magic on its own, someone had to possess the cauldron and use it.

She flipped back to the page with Taren on it. She had failed him. Of course, he probably wouldn’t say that to her. No, he was too nice, too willing to see past flaws to a person he wanted her to be. When he had looked at her, he hadn’t seen the Evil Queen. Even her son had looked at her like that at one point, but Taren hadn’t.

Taren saw something in her that she hadn’t wanted to see herself.

Maybe he saw someone she could still be.

Closing the book, she got up, having made a decision she hoped she wouldn’t regret.

It was nearly 40 minutes later, after she had dressed more suitably – or rather dressed like she used to dress – and here she was sitting in her car in the garage. She hadn’t driven much since she had gotten back and it still felt a little strange to her to be in a car like this.

Even though she had been in Prydain for over a year, somehow it felt longer to her. In a way it felt like she had lived a completely full life there.

“Maybe I’m getting too old,” she said. “And there I go talking to myself.”

She put the car in drive and headed out to the hospital – she needed to speak to Dr. Whale.

 

It was about 20-minute wait before Whale was between rounds and able to see her. If he thought it odd that she was there, he didn’t give any indication as he directed her into his office.

“If you are here to lodge some sort of complaint about your care while here, I can assure you that we followed all protocols even when it came to restraining you,” he said.

“I’m not here to complain Victor,” Regina said. “I’m here to thank you for taking care of me. I know it was probably the last thing in the world you wanted to do, but I appreciate you doing it, especially the house call. Clearly, I was a difficult patient yet you still took care of my wounds, and I wanted to say thank you.”

“Are you feeling ok?” he asked, giving her a suspicious look.

She gave a small smile, “I can understand why you would ask that but yes, I am ok. Saying thank you wasn’t the only reason I came.”

“Of course not,” he said. “What do you want, because you must want something from me or else you wouldn’t be trying to get on my good side.”

“I’m not sure there is enough time in my life to get on anyone’s good side in this town, not after the things I have done,” she said. “But that is why I’m here. I came to apologize to you, to say I’m sorry for all of it, everything I did to you.”

“I don’t understand,”

“That’s ok,” Regina said, seeing that he meant it. He didn’t understand why she was there, and maybe she didn’t fully understand it either, but she had to start somewhere. “I don’t expect your forgiveness, I just needed you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for using you, for your brother, for bringing you here against your will, that’s all I came here to say.”

Whale didn’t say anything, still standing there as if processing what she had just said.

“Well, thank you for your time, I will let you get back to work.”

She left his office, feeling alittle better for having done it, but knowing Victor was just one in a long line of people who deserved an apology.

Her phone began to ring as she got out to the parking lot. It was Emma, of course.

“Hello.”

“Where are you?” Emma asked urgently.

“I’m just leaving the hospital, is everything alright?”  
“The hospital, what are you doing there? Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Regina said, smiling because she knew that Emma did actually care if she was ok. “I was just heading home.”

“Ok,” Emma said, clearly exhaling a large breath. “I’m here now, I just you weren’t here when I got back and I was worried.”

“Worried because you thought I had run back to Prydain without you?”

“No,” Emma said. “I trust you, but there is something we need to talk about.”

Regina did not like where this was going. Was Emma really going to bring up the kiss now, while they were on the phone.

“Are you still there?” Emma asked.

“Yes. I will be there in a little bit and we can talk then.”

“Ok,” Emma said.

Regina got into her car but didn’t start it immediately. Was this it? Was she really going to talk about this with Emma? What would she even say? Maybe she would just let Emma say her piece and then react or tell her she needed more time.

These were all thoughts going round and round in her mind as she did finally start the car. By the time she made it home, she wasn’t sure she could do this – sit and talk with Emma about that kiss and what it meant for her.

But she couldn’t just run from it either.

She was surprised when Emma met her at the door, but she noticed Emma wasn’t looking only at her. No, Emma had looked around first before turning her attention to Regina.

“Is something wrong?” Regina asked.

“Maybe,” Emma said. “Let’s get inside.”

“Is Henry home?”

“Yes,” Emma said. “I picked him up.”

They went inside and Regina was more than a little shocked to see Snow and Charming there in her living room.

“What’s going on?” Regina turned to Emma.

“We think someone else from Prydain came through the well,” Emma said. “And if they did, they have come for you again.”

“Explain.”

“We’ve had a series of break ins over the last few weeks,” Emma said. “They were strange because whoever didn’t take anything of any real importance, some food here, some clothes at another place and at city hall they took a map of the town that shows the property owners. It would show that you own this place.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

Emma shrugged, “It started back when you still didn’t know who you were and back then I didn’t want to burden you with it, especially since we had no proof.”

“And after?”

“I don’t know, the break ins had stopped after the one at city hall and I don’t know you weren’t talking to me at first when you got your memories back and then the realization of what you had done with the cauldron, and I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner.”

Regina glanced over at Emma’s parents who seemed to be watching them rather intently for some reason.

“That’s ok,” Regina said, shaking her head a little. “I’m sure you did what you thought was right. I take it the break in your father called you about today is connected to this person you think came from Prydain?”

“We believe so,” Charming interjected. “You see this one was at the morgue. They broke in to where the corpse of the other man from Prydain was being held. They left the bin open where he was at.”

“Did they leave any evidence behind at any of the places they have been to? Or at the well?” Regina asked.

“No, but I’m not going to take any chances with your safety or Henry’s being in this house.”

Regina thought back to that night when Silas’s man had broken in here to bring her back to Prydain. She had been so scared when she had seen him out there in the back yard and she had yelled for Emma knowing that Emma would protect her. But it was she who had taken the man’s life when he had gone after Emma.

“Magic,” Regina said. “We can use magic to determine the person’s identity.”

“How?”

“I will have to teach you what to do, but you can use your magic at the well. If someone used magic to come from this world from that one, there should be a trace of that magic still there,” Regina explained. “If that is indeed the case, we might be able to find this person before they find me.”

“Ok,” Emma said, “but in the meantime, we need to find another place for you to be.”

“We thought you could and Henry could come stay with us for a few days,” Snow said.

Regina was sure she had not heard that correctly so she looked at Emma for an explanation.

“They bought a house while you were gone,” Emma said. “There’s plenty of room.”

“Besides,” Charming said. “We don’t have any intention of letting Emma go to Prydain with you unless we’re going to.”

“Excuse me,” Regina said looking from him to Emma and back again. “When did this become a family vacation?”

“Because we are a family,” Snow said. “And that includes you whether you want to admit it or not. Now, we can sit here and argue over decisions that have already been made, or you can go upstairs and pack a bag for a sleepover.”

Regina was sure she was either asleep and dreaming (or having a nightmare), had somehow transported herself to another reality, or was in a coma because she was certain this conversation was not actually taking place.

“Could you guys excuse us for a moment,” Emma said to her parents.   
They nodded and walked out to the kitchen.

“Look, I know this is probably not what you wanted, but believe it or not my parents want you to be safe,” Emma said. “You can’t stay here, Henry can’t stay here, surely you see that. And at least at their house, there will be more than just me around to keep an eye on things. I know you probably want to argue with me right now about how you are in no danger, or we have no proof that someone from Prydain is here or that you can take care of yourself, but please, just trust me, trust that I think this is the best course of action. It’s only for a couple of days, I promise.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“I didn’t stutter.”

“Yeah, it’s just I was expecting a fight,” Emma said.

“I’m still not sold on the idea of your parents going with us to Prydain. I was barely sold on you going, but your suggestion here is sensible at least until we can determine if someone traveled here from there,” Regina said. “I shall go pack a bag.”

She started to walk out of the room and then turned back to Emma. “Oh, and if your mother refers to it as a sleepover one more time, you will get that fight you were expecting.”

…

Regina turned over in bed for what seemed like the hundredth time. Here she was in a guest room at Snow and Charming’s house, lying in a full size bed with ridiculous pink and white flowers on the comforter. She had retired early, hoping to avoid a lot of chit chat with her hosts.

They had managed to eat dinner together “as a family,” as Snow had said, and afterward, Regina began to teach Emma what she would need to know about using her magic at the well.

Deciding she wasn’t going to be able to sleep, at least until she was totally exhausted, Regina got out of bed and silently went downstairs. She figured she would get a drink of water and hopefully her body would realize it should be unconscious.

She had to pass through the living room to get to the kitchen. Emma had been relegated to sleeping on the couch, but when Regina made it down there she saw Emma was sitting up on the couch, flipping through the channels on the tv with the mute on.

Emma turned to see her standing there. “Is everything ok?” Emma asked.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Emma said and then she scooted over to one end of the couch. “You can sit and we can talk or watch tv or something.”

Regina exhaled and then came over and sat down, keeping her attention on the tv at first and not Emma.

“There’s not much on.”

“Maybe we could just talk,” Regina suggested.

“Sure,” Emma said. “What do you want to talk about?”

The kiss, Regina thought, but that’s not what she said. “I could pick up where we left off talking earlier, before you left because of the break in.”

 

_“As I was saying, I had been working my way up north and the first time I ended up in the kingdom, I had requested an audience with King Korrigan. I had hoped that there might be some records there that he might allow to me to search through,” Taren said. “But instead of Korrigan, I found myself face to face with Silas for the first time.”_

_“Looking back now, I can see that he was manipulating me from the beginning, playing upon my ego and my desire to find the cauldron.”_

_“At the time however, I didn’t see it that way,” Taren said. “I thought here was someone who understood my quest. Here was someone who believed. That is the trap I fell for. All my life, I had wanted to do something that mattered and I thought finding the cauldron would be that thing. Those who knew me, those I had spoken to about this, made me feel like I was crazy or wasting my life, but Silas didn’t make me feel like that. He made me think my life’s purpose was important.”_

_“Did you think your life didn’t have a purpose before this?” Regina asked._

_“No, not really,” Taren said. “In some ways, I am like the High King Taran. I had dreamed of higher aspirations than what I saw my life becoming. I wanted, no I needed to find the cauldron, in order to make my life have meaning. I didn’t want to be a nobody in a sea of nobody. I see now that was my downfall.”_

_“I was the opposite,” Regina said. “I didn’t want to be a queen. I didn’t want the path that was laid before me. I wanted a simple life with the man I loved. I would have been content with that, happy.”_

_“What happened to this man that you loved?”_

_“He was killed,” Regina said. “Murdered by my own mother.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Taren said._

_“Thank you,” Regina said. “It was a long time ago.”_

_“That doesn’t mean it can’t hurt still.”_

_She didn’t respond, knowing that the hurt was still there after all these years. Had it lessoned, yes, but it was still there. She thought often of Daniel in the years after his death, and with every happy memory, the memory of how it ended came crashing into her mind._

_“What was your first impression of Silas, beyond thinking he was someone who understood you?” Regina asked, wishing to steer the conversation back to where it belonged._

_“I thought he was a highly intelligent young man,” Taren said. “You could see it in his eyes – he was always thinking. He remains the same way – always looking ahead, planning the next move, the next two moves, whatever it takes to meet his goal. He doesn’t let anything stop him.”_

_“You almost sound like you admire him still?”_

_“Admire, no. But I won’t underestimate him again either,” Taren said. “And you shouldn’t either.”  
She didn’t bother pointing out to him that she had no intention of ever meeting this Silas guy because she knew it would be useless to say so. Taren was sure that she would end up in this northern territory with Silas and the cauldron. She frankly could see no reason to go there unless there Silas could offer her something Taren could not – a way home._

_“Silas allowed me to stay there and study what I could find in terms of references to the cauldron. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much there. It’s not as if the Arawn was interested in literature or history. He coveted only the power the cauldron gave him.”_

_“The power to bring the dead back to life,” Regina said, almost to herself._

_“I told you, it’s not life.”_

_“How do you know though?” Regina asked. “Has your research given you an eye witness account of what the cauldron does exactly?”_

_“Yes,” Taren said sternly. “It’s not a power anyone should covet.”_

 

“You weren’t thinking of using the cauldron were you?” Emma interrupted.

Regina wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Obviously, Emma wanted her to say no, of course not, but maybe Emma needed to see that Regina was still the flawed person she had always been.

“I would have used it yes,” Regina said. “If it was what I would have hoped for. But you saw what I did to that man in the morgue. That’s not a life. When I was speaking to Taren though, I still had that thought in my mind that maybe the cauldron really could bring the dead back to life. That night when that man came to get me at the mansion, just before that I had woken up confused because I hadn’t remembered going to sleep or even going upstairs. I had gone to the window there in my room and I remembered something – I remembered Daniel and the first time I had told him I loved him. Then I saw a movement in the back yard, a man, and I thought what if it was him, what if that was Daniel. That was why I went down to the kitchen that night. But it wasn’t him.”

“I know you loved him,” Emma said. “And please don’t get angry with me, but after he passed, was there ever a time you thought that you might fall in love again with someone? I’m not saying that to be cruel or to suggest you should have moved on because you did love him and he was your first love and that’s not someone you ever forget.”

Regina was taken aback even more by this question than when Emma had asked her if wanted to use the cauldron. The answer before all of this started would have been no – she never imagined she might fall in love again. And then Celine had to put that thought in her head, the one that was right there now, that somehow in some weird twist of faith, the daughter of the woman she swore to make pay for Daniel’s death would be the one who she would fall in love with.

“No,” Regina said finally. “I never thought about it.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie, or so she tried to tell herself even as the words left her mouth.

 


	29. Chapter 29

Emma woke the next morning, feeling uncomfortable from sleeping on the couch. She thought about the conversation she had with Regina the night before. As it turned out, it wasn’t a long talk as Regina decided she was tired after all – just after Emma had asked her if she ever thought she would fall in love after Daniel.

Emma knew that Regina wasn’t really ready to sleep at that point, but was merely wanting to get away. She decided she would need to apologize to Regina and make sure she knew that she hadn’t asked it to hurt her. She thought she made that clear the night before, but the fact Regina shut down right after the question told Emma all she needed to know.

Of course, by moving them all in here to her parents’ place she practically guaranteed that she would not get to talk to Regina privately.

She still felt like she could only get so far with Regina and then the walls would go back up. She didn’t want it to be like that between them but Regina was clearly setting boundaries.

Maybe I should just respect those boundaries, Emma thought.

But as soon as she thought it, her mind went back to that kiss. There was just something in that kiss that made Emma keep thinking about it, and thinking about doing it again.

Yet, Regina had made a clear boundary about that.

It wasn’t long before everyone was up and Snow made pancakes for breakfast. It was mostly a quiet meal, as her father did the most talking, saying he would go into the office and handle any calls.

“How long will it take before Emma can use the tracking magic at the well?” he asked.

“That would depend entirely on how apt she is in learning what she needs to learn,” Regina said. “Your daughter’s ability to do magic is not in question. Her ability to learn it however is something that remains to be seen.”

“Well how good of a teacher you are also remains to be seen,” Emma said.

Neither woman meant it as an insult, in fact Emma felt better hearing a little snark form Regina this morning. It helped loosen the tension she had already felt building.

“We should go to my vault to practice,” Regina suggested. “It will provide us more privacy than we are likely to get here.”

“Oh, I won’t be here,” Snow said. “Since we’re going with you, I thought I might take some time and go target shoot today.”

“Target shooting, well, maybe Regina and I should go with you,” Emma said, with a small smile on her lips as she tried not to laugh thinking about what Regina had told her about her own experiences shooting a bow. “With no magic, it might be a good skill for Regina to learn. I’m sure you could give her many tips mom.”

“Alas,” Regina said, meeting her eye. “I’m afraid teaching you magic takes precedent. Then maybe we can work on your manners.”

Charming and Snow looked at each other, unsure what exactly was going on between the two women.

“Well, I need to get going,” Charming said standing up. He bent down and kissed Snow on the cheek and patted Emma on the shoulder. He grabbed his jacket as he prepared to leave but paused right after putting it on. “You know you may want to rethink practicing in the vault. There is only one way in and one way out.”

“He’s got a point,” Emma said.

“Yes, I suppose he does,” Regina said.

“You two could practice here,” Snow offered.

Regina stood up, “I’m going to let you think that one through,” she said. “Your daughter and her inexperienced magic here in your home.”

Snow looked at Charming. “She’s got a point,” he said.

….

“I’m not sure we should be out of here,” Emma said as they took the path toward the destroyed well.

“I don’t have any plans to jump in,” Regina said.

“That’s not what I meant,” Emma said. “I only meant, there may very well be someone from Prydain here looking for you and maybe we shouldn’t be making it easier on them by being out here.”

“Are you afraid you won’t be able to protect me?”

Regina raised an eyebrow at her when she said it, and Emma shook her head at her.

“I just don’t know that we should be chancing it is all.”

“Look, the sooner we find out who came out of the well the better,” Regina said. “Which means we might as well practice your magic here just in case you pick it up quicker than I expect.”

Emma took another look around them, scoping it out one more time to make sure nothing seemed amiss.

“Ok,” she said finally. “But I’m going to hold you to that whole not jumping in thing.”

For the next few hours Regina instructed Emma on what she wanted her to do, which in the beginning was nothing more than accessing her own magic. Once she was sure Emma could do that she switched over to having Emma use that magic to feel around her.

This did not come as easy for her.

“Why is this so hard?” Emma said as she was about ready to reach her breaking point.

“It’s not hard,” Regina said. “You aren’t used to it is all. Magic takes time to learn. Not even I was able to do everything at once.”

“Gold taught you, right?” Emma asked. The more she had spent time with Regina, the more she realized that there was a lot she still didn’t know about her.

“He started me on the path, yes,” Regina answered. “But after a while I was studying magic on my own. Once you master certain basics about magic, it is easier to understand more complicated magic. What we’re doing here isn’t complicated magic, but since you haven’t studied magic, it’s understandable that this feels foreign to you. And I’m afraid I have never actually had to teach magic before so your struggles may have more to do with me being a poor teacher.”

“No,” Emma said immediately. “I mean I understand what you are saying to me and what I need to do, I just can’t seem to put it into practice.”

Before saying anything else, Regina looked around them. It was more of a distraction than anything else.

“Alright, let’s try something different,” Regina said. “Turn and face what is left of the well and close your eyes.”

When Emma didn’t hesitate, Regina had a thought about how things really had changed between them. Emma was actually trusting her, putting herself in a vulnerable position.

She stepped closer so that she was directly behind Emma.

“Call up your magic,” Regina said in a whisper.

Waiting until she was sure Emma had done as instructed, Regina then reached around and gripped Emma’s forearm bringing it out straight in front of her.

“Now, I want you to picture your magic leaving your body and going out in an arc away from you. Or picture it like an ocean wave. Once you have that thought in your mind, make it happen with your magic. Just send it out. Don’t worry about finding anything or detecting anything, just let it flow from you.”

If Regina had her own magic would have been able to sense that what Emma was doing was correct, but since she didn’t, she watched her for visual clues. Emma had been standing rigid, concentrating with her arm still sticking out straight even though Regina had released it. Everything about her stance was stiff, which told Regina that Emma hadn’t gotten the magic to do as she had asked – yet.

“Relax,” Regina whispered. “Don’t try and force it. You were born with magic inside of you so let your instincts guide you.”

Despite telling her to relax, Emma seemed to be doing the opposite as she tensed up.

“Ok, stop,” Regina said after a few more moments.

“Sorry,” Emma said, as she turned around to face her.

“Why aren’t you relaxing?” Regina asked.

“I thought I was.”  
“You most certainly were not.”

Emma released a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding and walked away from the destroyed well. Regina let her go, but stayed where she was standing. Emma ended up taking a seat on the ground, her back resting against a nearby tree.

Regina sensed that Emma had something on her mind, but she remained silent, waiting for Emma to feel comfortable enough to speak.

“That day when you disappeared, it didn’t seem real,” Emma said. “We had come out here immediately after you absorbed the curse. Henry had taken off running and I had to follow. He yelled for his mom but you weren’t here. Eventually, we left this spot and I took him home – to your home because that is where he wanted to be. And we stayed there for a while because that boy was so certain you would return. We always kept the door to your bedroom closed, so that night you returned and I came up there and saw the door open I knew someone was in there and I felt anger that someone would dare to go in there. Of course, I wasn’t expecting to find you in there.”

“Anyway, staying there in the house with him, I didn’t like it because it didn’t feel right,” she continued. “And I know this is going to sound horrible, but I resented you for it. I’m not even sure why I did, I just did. I mean here I was suddenly a single parent and I had to try to find the right things to say or do for Henry when all he wanted was his mom back. Then you were back but not really back back. This time though, it didn’t feel as weird being in that house with you and Henry. It did at first, but then it just felt natural for me to be coming home from work and heading there. Even last night, as weird as it was to all be under the same roof, it felt like what I always thought family was supposed to be like when I was kid growing up without one. Now that I have seen what it can be like, I don’t want to lose it.”

Regina hadn’t said a word throughout, and as Emma stopped talking Regina still didn’t say anything at first, but she did step closer to Emma.

“Why do you think you will lose it?”

“Because you are part of that family I want and I don’t know if that is what you want,” she said. “I’m not saying that you and I have to be anything but friends, but I don’t want things to go back to how it was before you disappeared or even when you got all your memories back and shunned me. Last night, I shouldn’t have asked what I asked. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Regina said.

“I think I do. You clearly didn’t appreciate it,” Emma said getting to her feet so that they were now standing almost close enough that if she reached out she could touch her. “You went from not being tired to suddenly needing to go to bed as soon as you answered the question. It doesn’t take a genius to interpret that as you not welcoming such questions.”

“It caught me off guard that is all,” Regina said. “I haven’t spoken to many people about Daniel, practically no one actually.”

As she thought about it, she realized she had probably spoken more about Daniel to Taren than anyone else but even that wasn’t much.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about him,” Emma said. “If you needed or wanted to talk about him.”

“I appreciate that,” Regina said. “I just don’t know that he is someone I can talk about.”

Some times the pain of losing him felt so real to her as if it had just happened instead of it being all those years ago. She didn’t talk about him not just because it could be painful, but because she felt like if she didn’t then he would always be hers and hers alone. Her memories were the only things she had of him and she didn’t feel comfortable giving those away.

“I guess we should get back to our magic lesson,” Emma said as she headed back toward the hole in the ground.

Regina stayed where she was standing, not even turning to look at Emma. “You won’t lose it, that family feeling, I mean,” Regina said finally as she faced Emma who turned back around when Regina began to speak.

“Do you promise?” Emma asked.

Regina didn’t trust herself enough to say anything so she merely nodded. It seemed to be enough for Emma who turned and faced the hole once more. This time Regina could tell she was more relaxed.

Still, it took a little while before Emma opened her eyes in surprise at actually doing it. She turned to Regina who was standing several steps back. “I did it,” she said excitedly.

“Good. Now it should be easier to do it again,” Regina said. “But this time, use your magic to feel around you. Let it flow from you but with intent this time.”

“What exactly am I feeling for?”

“Trace magic,” Regina said. “I’m not sure I can explain to you what it feels like, so I’m hoping you will know it if you feel it. It won’t be strong like your magic, but it will have a different feel to it.”

Emma again turned toward the well and Regina could tell she didn’t get her magic to do what she wanted on the first try but by the second she had at least called the magic up and sent it out.

Minutes passed and Regina felt like maybe she hadn’t prepared Emma very well for this at all. She knew magic could be hard in the beginning. At first you rely on your power and then you learn that power will only get you so far. Once you learned the nuances of magic you could become unstoppable.

That is what she had wanted to become – unstoppable.

She used her magic as both a weapon and a shield to keep from getting hurt. She hadn’t wanted to feel pain like what she felt when she lost Daniel.

Was she really any different from Silas when it came right down to it? Taren had warned her about this man and his machinations, yet she still didn’t want to become involved in any of it.

Not until she was forced to.

When she returned to Prydain, did she really have it in her to make it right. Taren believed she did. He saw good in her for whatever reason, even when she gave him no reason to believe it.

_“Yet this Silas does covet it, for what reason? What does he hope to accomplish with this power?” Regina asked Taren as they continued their journey._

_“He wants to conquer all the lands,” Taren said. “He won’t rest until he is the High King and all will bow down to him. He will not let anyone stand in his way when it comes to accomplishing this.”_

_Regina thought about her own life and how she had embraced the Evil Queen persona. She too would not tolerate having anyone stand against her._

_“Ok, but how exactly will the cauldron help him with this?” Regina said. “It brings the dead back to life, so where is he getting all these dead people?”_

_“From anywhere. In his own kingdom I am sure there are plenty of dead that he could infuse with the power of the cauldron,” Taren said. “If you think about it, there would be an almost endless supply because even as his army would march on all the lands they would be creating more fodder for the cauldron.”_

_“But surely he understands that he can’t kill everyone. What would be the point of ruling over a kingdom of the dead?”_

_“Yes, I’m sure he does realize this. He has thought this all through. He is methodical and his cruelty knows no bounds. You mustn’t underestimate him Regina,” Taren warned._

_“Ideally, that wouldn’t be an issue as I would hope to avoid him entirely,” she said._

_“I told you, he already knows that you will end up in his kingdom with the cauldron,” he said._

_“Yes, but you haven’t explained how he knows this,” Regina said. “I take it your seer was the source of this information, which means you are the one who told Silas.”_

_“To my great shame, yes,” Taren said. And Regina could tell that he indeed felt bad over his part in all of this. “Celine told me much about the cauldron after she finally opened up to talk to me. I would not have found it without her counsel.”_

_“But why, if she can see the future, would she tell you? Why not keep it a secret so no one ever found it?”_

_“Because it would not have stayed hidden forever,” Taren said. “She told me I would find it but finding it would not matter since its magic was inert. I asked her if its magic could be activated again, and she shut down, didn’t speak with me for days. I think she was deciding whether to tell me at all, but in the end she did.”_

_“How do you know she told you all there is to know?” Regina asked._

_“Because despite how you may feel about seers, I believe in her. She has never given me reason to doubt her,” Taren said. “She foretold you coming here, that is how I knew you would be in the woods that day I found you.”_

_“But if you told Silas everything, why weren’t his men out there in the woods looking for me to take me back to his kingdom?”_

_“I never said I told him everything,” Taren said. “Besides, at that point all Celine had told me was that a queen from another realm would come here and she alone had to power to activate or destroy the cauldron. She described your appearance to me which is why there is that sketch of you in the book. It wasn’t until my falling out with Silas that Celine told me the more specific information I needed to find you.”  
“She must have given you quite a bit of detail because that sketch is exact.”_

_“If makes you feel any better, that wasn’t the first draft,” he smiled._

_“Still, it is very good. Perhaps you should have honed your artistic abilities rather than spend it on this foolish quest.”_

_“Is that how you view what I have done with my life?”_

_Regina hadn’t meant to question the man’s life choices like that, but she couldn’t help but question why any of this was happening._

_“I guess I don’t understand why,” Regina said. “Why do all of this? Why pursue something that you yourself knew had dangerous potential? Take Silas out of the equation entirely. What would you have done if you had found the cauldron without him, what would you have done with it? Would you still be asking me to destroy it if you alone possessed it?”_

_Taren came to a halt, forcing Regina to do the same._

_“If you are asking me if there was someone I wanted to bring back, the answer is no,” he said. “I was pursuing knowledge, which to me is a noble endeavor.”_

_“What good is such knowledge though?” Regina pressed. “What is the point if you have nothing to gain from it?_

_“Why does there have to be something to gain?”_

_“Because otherwise there is no point to it,” she countered._

_“Do you really believe that?” Taren challenged her. “Do you believe something is only worth doing if there is gain for you in it?”_

_“You know, you spend an awful lot of time and energy into convincing yourself that I’m a good person,” Regina said. “It’s a waste.”_

_“Well, you spend just as much time and energy trying to convince me you are bad person,” Taren smiled. “And it too is a waste.”_

_Regina shook her head and resumed walking. She hated that Taren had put her on this pedestal when she knew that in the end she would disappoint him._  
  


“I got it,” Emma said excitedly, knocking Regina out of her memory.

“Are you sure?” Regina asked.

“Yes,” Emma said. “It’s like you said, it’s different than my magic.”

“Ok, good,” Regina said. “Now, this is where it gets more complicated.”

Emma gave her a look as if to say ‘really?’

“You can do this,” Regina reassured her. “This time, send your magic around this other magic like your putting it in a mason jar. You are trapping it so that you can then use your magic to discern more about it, but first trap it.”

Emma closed her eyes, which while it wasn’t necessary, apparently was something Emma felt the need to do. This time she picked up on what she had to do even quicker. Regina was impressed actually. Emma had powerful magic and if she ever learned to use it fully, she would be near unstoppable.

“Got it,” Emma said. “Now what?”

“Someone used magic to get here so there must be a trace of that person within the magic. Infuse it with your magic and force it to reveal to you who that person is.”

Regina moved a bit, so she could see better, because if Emma did this right, an image would appear of this person and Regina needed to see who it was.

It took several minutes and Regina glanced at Emma and could see that she was straining with the use of her magic. She wasn’t used to using her magic like this. And Regina wondered if she shouldn’t have pushed her so fast. The magical trace would still be there; they didn’t have to do this all now.

She was about to tell Emma to shut it down but as soon as she was about to an image flickered into existence for barely a second before Emma’s magic dropped.

“Sorry,” Emma said, sounding like she had just run five miles. Regina realized Emma had kept her eyes closed so she hadn’t seen what Regina had seen. She didn’t know who had come through the portal, meaning Regina could keep it a secret and perhaps be able to go back to Prydain without Emma or her parents.

There was no reason for Emma to endanger herself when it was Regina’s responsibility.

“What is it?” Emma asked when Regina continued to stand there. Regina looked at her, knowing she had to make a decision quickly – would she let Emma go with her or not.

“It worked,” Regina said finally. “I know who came through from Prydain and I think I know where to find them.”


End file.
